Don't say that! You mean a lot to a lot of people, even if they don't show it. You especially mean a lot to me. Don't sell yourself short. You'll get through it. Relapsing is painful but with the right support you can pull through, I know you can. And I definitely get what you mean with things being strange with family and friends. But it's fixable. Even the anxiety will fade away. You deserve better. And I'm really glad we can talk like we used to now. No barriers, no restrictions, nothing to get in the way. I'm here for you. I do hate how last.fm works though... we could send eachother private messages on here (I promise I'll actually start checking them), or we could do regular email... I have yahoo though and I've been having issues with it, so that might not be the best way to go at the moment. But really it's up to you :)

Thank you. You forgiving me means a lot. Even if you weren't mad to begin with.. I still feel really awful. I understand, I've been having a lot of nightmares lately too. No it's alright; you could never make things worse. Even if you flipped on me, it would be alright because you wouldn't do that without good reason, and I would deserve it. And it's okay. I've never felt this close to someone. You really helped me through a lot, and I'm sure you still will in the future. I just hope we'll be able to get through it all without so much pain or anxiety. And the fact that you actually hunted me down on here means a lot. I would probably do the same thing. And of course I still want you to be here. I've missed you, quite a lot. I just didn't want to pull you any deeper into this hell. But things are looking up, again. My friends are better and we've been having "group therapy". This place is still hell but we're going to make the best of it. "Hell is what you make it".

Aw shit I'm sorry. *Sighs* A lot of stuff has been going on, to say the least. I've completely blocked out everyone. One of my friends became suicidal, the other completely abandoned me, I gave up on polyvore... I felt so bad because I wasn't talking to you but I convinced myself it was for the greater good. I felt like I had fucked up enough times. I didn't want to cause more trouble... I almost relapsed.. but stopped myself. I thought of you... I'm so sorry. And I didn't get your message because I almost never look at my inbox, until I saw your post and decided that I should check it... (This one person keeps spamming me). And I'm really sorry if I don't seem like myself... That's awful, and I feel like shit knowing that I caused that (Sorry for the excessive language). I thought nobody would really care but you thought I was dead.. I can't believe I made you think that. I promise I won't leave again. You can talk to me on here. I'm hear for you, if you'll forgive me. :/