Thanks for the shout. How much more would it suck if you knew she and I (Janice that is) live all of 2 hours away from each other, even though we met each other some 1600 miles away from here (here, uh that would be Tampa, FL but we met 30 miles outside NYC)? <laugh>. From what others have told me, her outer shell (to protect her from his abuse... not physical, just strong emotional and psychological abuse) has become much like him, bitter and filled with hate. The last time I actually contacted her, I had to literally remind her my heart has only love for her--I had to point out I was complimenting her even when it should have been obvious (I am known for a particularly sardonic wit). Why I don't go GET her, is because 18 years ago, or 19, whatever, we really took it round in circles to the point I knew if I didn't hop off the carousel, we'd both curse each other. We agreed, to our cores, in this lifetime, we had other lessons to learn. Sometimes you have to step away.