(אזהרת טריגר 7 לאוקטובר) בעוד יומיים היא תחזור אלי, ואנגב לה ת׳דמעות. אני צעקתי קצת יותר מדיי, והם אמרו לי לחכות. בסוף ישבתי ולא עשיתי כלום. נמאס לי מהטמטום. אוף! אולי אני פשוט אידיוט. שלא יודע להיות. ומחפש משמעויות, תשובות, שטויות - הכל שטויות. עברו חודשיים, עוד לא באמת אלי. כל יום הוא היום הכי ארוך. וכבר חודשיים אין חדש, אני מורעב ומיובש, לא מיואש - אני אוכל רק כשתאכלי איתי. בסוף ישבתי ולא עשיתי כלום. נמאס לי מהטמטום. אוף! אולי אני פשוט אידיוט. שלא יודע להיות. ומחפש משמעויות, תשובות, שטויות - הכל שטויות. את הולכת לאיבוד. ילדה. את הולכת לאיבוד. ילדה! את הולכת לאיבוד.

״אפילו ילד, אפילו ילד, את לא יכולה לעשות״ הוא אומר לה. אני מקשיב וצועק, ״תראי אותי אמא״, יש לי שתי ידיים מלאות, באחת רובה שאוכל לירות, ובשניה ספוג. שאוכל לספוג את מה שמתיז על הקיר. תראי אותי, אמא. תראי אותי, אמא. אנחנו, הטובים ביותר. אנחנו, הטובים ביותר. אנחנו, הטובים ביותר.

and when you're angry - you become a stranger - I'm starin' at danger, uh-huh. and then you scream you hate me, there's nothing left to save us. You're so afraid of changes, uh-huh. Honesty saves time and that's enough for us - the outro's the intro, hurting the both of us. I'm tryna tell ya

So, let's melt the north pole! It is far from the worst idea ever concocted. We'll read about it. Read with me. Idea. Warm. Melt. Thought. The albatross passed along, the idea, to congress. The freezing waters could be pumped OUT, and the warm pumped IN. Theory can be dangerous, but also moist! We may drink a great deal of _liquid_, and not easily satisfy, _our thirst_. Liquid, increases, the thirst, until that painful thirst becomes, unbearable. Which reminds us. Men must soon learn. To remove the salt from sea water. And learn a way to transport that water to people inland. They must learn to do this - and they are learning. Or animals, will, inherit the earth. Is this sentence, TRUE or FALSE? Survive, means, leave at sea. So let's melt the north pole! Trust. Thought. Thought. Thought. That concludes our lesson.

This is a promise. This is a threat. X-ray eyes. X-ray eyes are electric. This is a promise. This is a threat. Of a device. Capturing your mind. Brain scanning machines, discerning thoughts, original blueprints, replicating imprints. X-ray eyes are electric. X-ray eyes analyze. X-ray eyes strike the target. X-ray eyes read your mind. X-ray eyes.

Let's try and end on a pleasant note. You've ended endless things and you know how it goes. You lick your wounds, put the minute jar on the shelf. You lick a stamp on a letter to your old self. You always liked being good at things, didn't you? Isn't it funny what a person can get used too You can take your everlasting love and you can have it. You don't always get to pick what you get good at. Did he answer? No. Not even a whisper? No. So it's over? Yes. So you know the drill. You're the expert. You're the expert. You're the expert. Congratulations! You always liked being good at things, didn't you? Isn't it funny what a person could get used to? And now. Look how far you've gone. You used to need them. And now you could lose everyone. Without even blinking an eye. So go and put on your crown. Did she answer? No. Did she answer? No. Did she answer? No. Not a single heartbeat? No. So it's over? Yes. So you know the drill. Congratulations! You've really got this death thing down.

Now's the time for you to rip me.. make yourself, feel like a.. oh my god you're doing it WRONG, no no no, it's like.. we will exonerated, this fact cannot be debated, this much I have estimated: you will thank me much much later. Much, much, much later! Much, much, much later! I wanna... feel. you. I wanna.. feel.

Then she killed my brain.. nothing hurts anymore, nevermind! then she killed my, whow whow whow whow

Who am I if I don't have what it takes? No CRACKS, no BREAKS, no MISTAKES, no pressure.

Give it to your sister, your sister's stronger. See if she can hang on a bit longer. Who am if I can't carry it all, if I falter. Under the surface, I hide my nerves, and it's worse since I'm worried something is gonna hurt us. Under the surface, the ship doesn't serve when I hear how big the iceberg is. But wait.. if I could shake, the crushing weight, of expectation. Would that free some room up for joy? Or relaxation? Or simple pleasure? Instead we measure... this growing pressure. It keeps... growing...keeps growing.... because all we know is pressure like a drip drip drip that'll never stop, whoa... pressure that'll tip tip tip 'till you just go "pop", whoa. Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt, and see if she can handle every family burden. Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks! NO MISTAKES just (pressure...) Give it to your sister and never wonder, if the same pressure would have pulled you under.

I'm the strong one. I'm not nervous. I'm as tough as the crust of the earth is. I move mountains, I move churches, and I glow because I know what my worth is. I don't ask how hard the work is, I've got a rough indestructible surface. Diamond and platinum, I find them, I flatten'em, I take what's demanded. But... under the surface, I fill berzerk as a tight rope walker in a three ring circus. Under the surface, I'm pretty sure I'm worthless unless I can be of service. A flaw or a crack, the straw on the stack , that breaks the camel's back, what breaks the camel's back, it's... pressure like a drip drip drip that'll never stop. Whoa. Pressure that'll tip tip tip 'till you just go "pop". Give it to your sister, your sister's older. Give her all the heavy things that you can't shoulder. Who am I if I can't run with the ball, if I falter. Pressure like a grip grip grip, and I won't let go, whoa. Pressure that'll tick tick tick 'till it's ready to blow. Whoa.

GET. THE FUCK. OUT MY FACE > I"M TRYING TO THINK > GET. THE FUCK. OUT MY FACE. BEFORE I DO SOMETHING I'mma do something crazy if you talk to me again. Do something crazy, baby, I'm not your friend. No, don't get me in trouble, nah, let's not pretend - that you're the good guy and I just lost my patience. Past 20 years I've been talked down to. Now I ain't backing down, especially not for you.

I'll give you fish. I'll give you candy. I'll give you... everything I have in my hands! Give. me. back my man. Give. me. back. my. man.

So I will lay the table but. I will not sing. And you're drunk, drunk, drinking like a skunk, drinking like a skunk, home brings a lot more things, drunk, drunk, drinking like a skunk, home brings a lot more things, lot more times I didn't drink, lots more times to play it dumb, sitting around and getting drunk.

Home brings... so I will lay the table but. I will not sing. I will not sing. Please don't make me sing. Please don't make me try. Because I like this stuff, I like the playing, especially with people paying, but it's all too much, I don't seem to care. Must be something in this English air. Most be something that I'm doing wrong, because I'm always singing the same old song. And I'm always breaking the same old heart that I carry 'round in this soulless cart. Home brings.

Home, like a candle sweating, thought come a fire burning, everything you made will end up broken. And. Cheap though and cheaper dresses. You've flapped out and learned your lesson - she only makes that moaning when she's faking it. And. Fake sounds and plastic feelings, freckles and skins are peeling, soon comes the night when I go home. And then your - home brings the same old things, it's hair nets and safety pins, and mom does the same thing she always does. It's your home brings a lot more things, like sitting up, singing heims, so I will lay the table but. I will not sing. I will not sing. And I throw out while I do, now I got no excuse, and all this bullshit has locked in my hands. Like, I don't want to talk. It's not really complicated, I just don't want to talk to you. I just don't want to know, the less I know, the less I care, so I might not say yes. I mean I won't say no, I never say "no", I mean I might say "I might", but we all know that really means "no", so I ask.

When I woke up, the kids were being quiet. I knew it was a dream right away - I called the limousine company. Then I got dressed. I dressed the kids as well. The limousine pulled in and we piled in. The Doctor, he asked, which way we were headed. I said "Sir, let's just go west", and he listened, obediently. Sophie only wants to listen to Radio BBC. Michael sat on my knees and whispered to me all about the meanies. Jackeline was being such a big girl, with her cup of tea looking out of the window. And Barbara, she looks just like my mom. Oh my Barbara, she looks just like my mom. NO THANK YOU NO THANK YOU NO THANK YOU

NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU, I ain't about to pay for this shit. I can't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo, and on any given day I'd rather ride a limousine, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU , I ain't about to die like this, I can't afford chemo like I couldn't afford a limo, and besides this shit is making tired. I'm gonna retire some day, but I'mma gonna go out in style.

I had a dream.. crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin came over and baby sat all four of my kids. Then, in my dream, I TOLD THE DOCTOR OFF. He said, "if you don't want to do it, then you don't have to do it". He said, "the truth is you'll be okay anyways". Then, in my dream, crispy crispy Benjamin Franklin and the Doctor.. went and.. had a talk with my boss. Something about... insurance policies... they kept the door closed at all time, I couldn't hear or see. When they came out they said, "you'll be okay anyways". And I smiled because I knew it all the while.

Gone tomorrow, here today. Listen very hard to what we say. Living small was yesterday. Selling out is here to stay. Oh my! Oh yeah! I want a bigger avenue! To drive my Jaguar over you! Why do you listen? Who do you love? Here today is what we say. A penny is a dollar turned away. A lesson learned the hardest kind of way...

אני ואתה זה כמו מאה שנה, חיים ביחד וכלום לא השתנה, נפגשים במקרה, אומרים שלום - אבל חושבים מלחמה.

Wake me up before the dawn. There's a shivering inside my craving bones. Shaking off my darkest thoughts. There's a brand new day to ruin, to the call. I fall doooowwnnnnn. I can't get by without you. I can't get by without you. You're all that I can feel. It's you inside of me. I can't get by without you. The memory cuts too deep. There's a beating in my heart. I need to end. I fall dowwwwwn. Can't get by without you. Can't get by with you. You're all that I need. You're all that I want. You inside of me.

ואין מה לאמר, הסתדר דווקא יופי. בדיוק אני כאן, ובדיוק עם זרועות. אפילו הבאת במקרה איזה ארבע-חמש קופסאות. ואין מה לאמר. אין מה לאמר. לפי הצוואר את ניראית מאושרת. ואין מה לאמר - הוא עושה לך רק טוב. אמנם זה נדמה, שאמרת, שתהיי עם עצמך בקרוב. אבל אין מה לאמר, אין מה לאמר. תשימי פה יד, היא כבדה, המזחלת. נישאר רק מרבד וחלון וראי. ונר זיכרון, מהיום, שרצחו את יצחק, מודעי. ישבנו בבר. הקיץ נגמר. תודה שעברת, זה הרגיש, סוף הדרך. יפה לך קצר, תני לי רגע לראות מקרוב. מצחיק לפעמים, זה נדמה, שזאת את שעוברת ברחוב. ואין מה לאמר, אין.

תנשב רוח, תנשב. העצים מרכינים את ראשם. השמיים אותם השמיים - ואין כל סימן למטר. תישן, ילד, תישן. שאלות זה דבר מסוכן. הם היו רחוקים מהעיר. זה טיפה מסובך להסביר. תיאחז בזה, אנחנו, ניסינו מאוד, כיסינו את כל החורבות, שינינו- את שמות הרחובות. ניסינו. היסינו שמועות. כשבעצם קיווינו, לשיר עם אבינו, סובב לו סובב הפינג'אן - תיאחז בזה. נכון, ילד, נכון - שאכלנו אותם בלי לימון. שסגרנו אותם בפסנתר - בזמנו זה ניראה מסתבר. נכון, ילד, נכון - כשנכנסו על זברות לכפר - לא עשינו את זה מרצון! זה היה המ.פ. שאמר! תיאחז בזה, אנחנו - ניסינו מאוד. כיסינו את כל החורבות. שינינו - את שמות הרחובות. ניסינו מאוד. ניקינו כתובות. כשבעצם קיווינו לשיר עם אבינו, סובב לו סובב הפינג'אן! תיאחז בזה! נכון, ילד, נכון. שהחזקתי אותה מאחור - זה היה לצורכי ביטחון, שעברנו עליה בתור. נכון, ילד, נכון. לשקחנו אותה אל החול. שנתנו לה את, שתחפור. בזמנו זה ניראה פיתרון. תיאחז בזה - אנחנו - ניסינו מאוד, כיסינו את כל החורבות. שינינו - את שמות הרחובות, ניסינו מאוד. היסינו שמועות. כשבעצם קיווינו לשיר עם אבינו תיאחז בזה!

I feel like a human. I am a true romantic. Free-falling love addict.

There's only so much of the universe that I can rearrange. Can't seem to get estranged from the laws of physics. Don't know the lotto or the number in your brain - what is it? And also if, your, problem, is me - been pondering solutions since 1983. None were satisfactory. So let's FOCUS, on everything else. Your problem - I got this. No riddle to test, resolve. No middle - it's best dissolved. And what gets sorted out last of all - it gets solved. It gets solved.

You think the computer was helping you do it so perfect sometimes?

Sometimes it's the alcohol that's talking through me, but most of the time, THIS IS HOW I FELT. No excuses for the things that I say, it's nobody's fault because I'M DOING IT BY MYSELF. You're offended by what is said - choke-choking on the word I should have read. The number one question on everyone's mind is HEY MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU KISS YOUR MAMA WITH THAT MOUTH? Yes. I kiss your momma with this mouth. I KISS IT I KISS IT I KISS IT

My little love affairs... are all scheduled around the TV guide. And my sex life has all been plagiarized in an attempt to meet a harsh deadline. I'd like to rent a wife. Then rent a husband to keep her for life. The three of us, we could be so happy. Then with each other, and with company. And at my funeral... they'll say "Tom, he was such a nice guy", "he went so early, but he went in style", they'll play my music and then they will cry. Then they'll have a little wake. They'll drink bad wine and they'll eat lemon cake. And my mother's little heart will break. And she'll say "Wait! There must be some mistake! He CAN'T be dead, take me instead!". But I'm not dead. They tell me I'm not dead... they say that I'm not dead. That I won't die for some time.

I could waste my own time, waste my own time, I wouldn't have to... If I only didn't wanna, screw you! If I only didn't wanna, do you! For just a few... I could waste my own time! I could waste my own time! I could stab myself in the back! For just a few.. BABY BABY BABY BABY I'm the one who's getting screwed!

I'll cry about this. And hide my cuckold eyes. As you come off all concerned. And I'll find no solace. In your poor apology. In your regret that sounds absurd. Keep singing... I'll wait my turn. To tear inside you. To terrorize you. A promise is a promise...

the ones who taught me, oh they probably, felt this way. Mom and Dad, we love'em, fuck'em or become'em.

One, is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. Two, can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one. No, is the saddest experience you'll ever know. Yes, it's the saddest experience, you'll ever know. Because one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do, it's the loneliest number that you'll ever know. It's just no good anymore since you went away, now I spend my time just making loneliest of yesterday. Because one is the loneliest number... much much worse than two...

Why take everything you see. You'll have nothing left to squander. If you keep pushing me away... you'll have no one left to love. You throw it all away. Those ties you went and suffered for. You cause disaster. And flounder, flounder flounder. Why take everything you see... You're less than you should be. Why run so hard to finish. You cause contentment. And wonder, wonder, wonder... Why take everything you see. You'll have nothing left to squander. If you keep pushing me away... you'll have no one left to love.

وانا شتقتيللك من زمان, شتقيت لصوتك بيسألني "كل اشي تمام؟" وإزا بعدك حافظ وبتفكر فيي كمان, إحكيلي بيوم من الايام נפגשנו כמו שני ילדים זקנים, תמימות עם קמטים וגיבנת בנשמה, תחת אותם שמיים על אותה אדמה. מן זרות מוכרת או היכרות זרה - פחד וחשד מתערבבים במשיכה - נפגשים במקרה, אומרים "שלום" - אבל חושבים מלחמה. وانا شتقتيللك من زمان, شتقيت لصوتك بيسألني "كل اشي تمام؟" وإزا بعدك حافظ وبتفكر فيي كمان, إحكيلي بيوم من الايام אני אומרת "אמת" אתה אומר לי "פשטות", אני אומרת "עבר" אתה אומר לי "הווה", אני אומרת "רוח" אתה אומר "אדמה", וזאת אותה המלחמה. השפה שלי נושקת לשלי, והלשון שלך מתלפפת ושלי, אז איך תסביר שלשנינו בלב רק פחד ושנאה? وانا شتقتيللك من زمان, شتقيت لصوتك بيسألني "كل اشي تمام؟" وإزا بعدك حافظ وبتفكر فيي كمان, إحكيلي بيوم من الايام אני ואתה זה כמו מאה שנה, חיים ביחד וכלום לא השתנה, נפגשים במקרה, אומרים "שלום", אבל חושבים מלחמה

I am finding solace here. In this unexpected place. Like a startled dying man, kneels and prays just in case. And while the night sky sadly ends, all that we've been sleeping through. Death took my friend Benjamin, but he left his keys with you. So I'll kiss the air instead. As not to disturb your sleep. And if you never wake, my love, maybe you can come with me.

Now I'm acting paranoid. Always in a nervous state. I don't have an appetite. All I do is shay-shay-shake! I never been the jealous type, but now I'm checking every word you type, every friend you see, I'm feeling like, the thought police. How to love and not create the same old songs, the same mistakes, the ones who taught me, oh they probably, felt this way. I could break the cycle, or I could be a psycho, and never really change. Fuck'em or become'em.

Tell me where you were last night! I know that you came home late! Look me in the ey-ey-eyes! All you do is shay-shay-shake! Tell me, did you cross that line? I can see it on your face! Look you in the ey-ey-eyes... feels like I'm insane. A broken ashtray next to a vodka soda, I'm 10 years old again, when you're not sober. I always said I'll make better choices... searching for the antidote but I keep picking poison. Feels like I'm dating my dad. How predictable is that... we keep repeating the past. Mom and Dad, we love'em, either fuck'em or become'em! Fuck'em or become'em!

I don't care, where you been - how many miles, I still love you. Show me someone who's got no baggage - I'll show you somebody who's got no story. Nothing gory means no glory - but baby please don't bore me. We won't know until we get there, the who, the what and the when-where. And everybody and their mama can hear the drama that's happening between these thin walls. I don't care, where you been, how many miles - I still love you.

Fuck you if you love a car for it's paint job. Love you if you love a car for the road-trips. Show me the miles on your arms and the pink scar where the doctor had to pull out all the bone chips. 'Cos you were pressing on the gas just a bit hard. Right in the moment where the road turned a bit sharp. And when you woke up somebody was unclipping your seat belt and pulling you out the open window of your flipped car.

I rewind and decide to be kind whenever I can. So I'm making a beeline for all of my friends. And my enemies, even the ones who have declined To be fine with everyone being their self They say that we're going to hell But I turned my cheek, I can tell That they've just been crying for help We call can be somebody else 'cause everybody's feeling afraid We all have the power to change We all came to earth just the same Nobody even chose their name

My name isn't Kathrine. My name isn't Crystal. My name isn't Nikki or Chad or Sebastian. But thank you for asking. My name is a question. A reckoning on whether my parents were laughing or stressing when they gave me their blessing. And pray that it lasted. And I wonder now - how the fuck did it happen. Tracing the line but the lines get blurry. Yeah the pot gets smoked and the pot gets stirred. Said my concert was dope but I'm not so sure. Been feeling the end of my rope, insecure. My name is obnoxious My name is preposterous My name is an albatross around my neck Tightening up her grip and it's making me nauseous My name is a lineage, I am a guinea pig Am I a genius, am I an idiot? Am I just digits inside of the matrix Existence is boxing me in like a cage every day Yeah, my name is a shadow It wrapped itself around me just like a lasso.

And after *this*, the rest is all bullshit!!! And after *this*, the rest is all bullshit!!!

You wanna brawl. And crawl back into bed. But I can't move at all. I'm stalled here in my head. I'm out here playing dead. We are not fit to duel; our parents gave us different pistols, taught us different rules. Your father was cruel, this man you resent, is, despite your best intentions what I represent. I say "it isn't right", you say "you're always right", be prepared to fight! Be prepared to fight!

האם אתה שומע מיסטר ביג? האם את מכינה קפה ליהודה? טוב לכם יהודים? שואל מיסטר ביג שיושב בבניין המכוער בעיר הקודש. יהיה מה שיהיה יהודים? יהיה, מה, שיהיה? ובקשר אליך, מר. מפעל גדול, יושב, משמין, שואל שואל את בת הזוג שנדפקת עם המסג'יסט, אה, זוז! זוז רגע! זוז אני אומרת, קבצץ באמצע דלת, אתה מפריע לי לילד, לנקות ת'נעליים, שעולות כמו חליפה בשטיח מזהב אשר סביבו חוטי זהב ומשי. איך זה להיות מוקפת בכל כך הרבה צביעות? איך? איך זה? איך זה להיות מוקפת ברוע, כל כך הרבה רוע במדינה אחת, רוע ונקם ורוע, באיש כל כך נחמד?

No-one really knows how the parties get to 'yes', the pieces that are sacrificed in every game of chess. We just assume that it happens. And no one else is in the room where it happens.

Don't feel sorry for me, feeling sorry's been my life's devotion! Screw yo! The sentiment's the same, my friend. Screw you, the sentiment's the same it always was.

And I've been told that my sinful life IS an addiction / but I can't buy it / it's just too hard to stand beside it / I need an answer / humans can't provide it / I look at the earth, the sun, and I can tell a genius man designed it / it's truly mindblowing, I can't deny it / Is heaven real, is it fake? Is it really how I fantasize it? / Where's the holy ghost at? / How long's it take a man to find it? / My mind's a non-stop tape playing, and I can't rewind it / YOU GAVE ME THE BIBLE AND EXPECT ME NOT TO ANALYZE IT??!! I'm frustrated and you provoked it / I'M NOT READING THAT MOTHERFUCKING BOOK BECAUSE A HUMAN WROTE IT! I have a fucking brain, you should know it! You gave it to me to think, to avoid every useless moment! It was a mission that I had to abort. ''cos humans be lying, with such an inaccurate source. It's gonna hard to put me back on the course.

מכונית מוכנה, הוא יקח אותה לסיבוב בשכונה ויראה לה את הנוף. פה ושם זה עוזר, פה ושם, אני לא משתכר, פה ושם היא תצחק. פתאום הוא ישים את ידו על כתפה, השמלה תתקמט, היא תחשוב על הבית, פה ושם זה עוזר, אני לא מוותר, פה ושם, היא תצעק. בוקר טוב עולם! יש ברבורים באגם. בוקר טוב עולם! אני הולכת מכאן. בוקר טוב עולם! יש ברבורים באגם הזה.

אדם נשאר אדם. אל תקרא לי. אל תקרא לי עם. כשפרחים פורחים וילדים שמחים ואויבים מפעם הם היום אחים. הגיבורים נחים והגבולות פתוחים, השיירה עוברת והכלבים נובחים. לא מאלוהים, ממך אני חרד. מה יש לי איתם? מה יש לי איתך? גם המציאות זקוקה להגנה. ישמור אותי האל מפני האמונה