Hmm...

today when i awoke, the bug, which i had been very close friends with for many years at this point, had decided to take it's leave. with that i found 5 cucumbers missing from my fridge, replaced with a seemingly fresh baked loaf of rye bread. i wonder where my friend has relocated?

we're the best birds but we're angry

Like 👍 if you ship GerIta 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🇩🇪🇮🇹🫃 comment 💬 if you ship Mclennon 🎤👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🇬🇧🪲

John Lennox Penis Music 🏩💖 Oooh geggy 🏩💖

What the BLEEP is a CUNTY?

Me, clocking in at work: "man I wonder where my coworker is" My boss who is secretly a slither.io worm and is a foot taller than the day before: "yeah I started taking steroids"

Morrissey gang unite 🫡

Because I'm fifty shades of fucked up 😈🖤

What if instead of last.fm it was called last.effem and it was only for effeminate people

candy 🍬 crush 🥰 level 65

oowah oowah

Do you prefer brown water or clear water? Me personally I prefer the brown kind. You can get it from a brown well

Call me a mosquito the way if you give me a sip of your drink I'll spit some back

2.5 million hours on Mario Kart

When I'm out in public all I do is stand and sneer—stand because I'm not allowed to sit (my own way of disciplining myself. It is a facet of what I call "the mindset of the wolf"), and sneer because no one around me has any idea that I am a witty and, might I add, extremely attractive last.fm user. They just don't understand! All they see is a tall blond(e) of unknown gender wearing two minks around the neck! But there is so much more... I throw my spider smoke bomb at you but it fails to conceal what happens next: I run swiftly into the road. I am hit by a car and killed instantly.

https://tenor.com/bpnAJ.gif

Gigglemug

Happy 5th annual Sonadow day ❤️💙

Lots of latkes in your future

I/Me/Myself (fish parody) [WIP] And now you've got me thinking / I wish I could be a little fish, and that way / You'd wish I could be your meal, you big fish

flash my boobs at mardi gras.

A pair of underwear. Material? 50% cotton. The rest? Up to you.

Girl, we BEEN stanning the Chipmunks 🙄🥱

GoodAfterNoon😘🙈💯 I Jus Wanna Say That Yhu Beautiful N Yhu Everything To Me 💯 I Swear On My GrannyYhu Jus So Fuckin Fine 💯 I Jus Wish I Can Be The One Thats With Yhu N Show Yhu Off To The World 👫👩‍❤️‍👨👀💦💎💯 So They Can Get Mad ✊🏻👅👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨😻😘😍 But Yeah I Jus Wanna Say If I Had One Wish I Promise To Love Yhu 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨😻😘👫👩‍❤️‍👨👀💦💯📶 N Be The One Yhu Always Wanted 💪🏻📶💯😍😘 All I Need Yhu To Do Is Believe Me One Time 💪🏻📶💯😻😘👫👩‍❤️‍👨👀👈🏻💎💪🏻 I Promise Im On Yo Ass N If I Want Yhu Ima Get Chu 😍😘👫👅👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍👨👀💋💍 Even Tho Yhu Aint Mines Yhu Mines Inside 😘😍💞👩‍❤️‍👨💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💍💯💦📶 Yhu My Foreva Shorty N I Wont Let No One Tell Me Yhu Not I Swear 😍😘👀💯👎🏻👎🏻 Idc I Will Go To WarFor Yhu Only Cus Yhu The One I Want 😍😘😘💯💦📶🔐🔒 I Wanna Be The One To Hold Yhu Down Show Yhu That Im All Yhu Need 😍😘💯💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🔐👀💪🏻💎💍

Fuck you why do you keep deleting my ASCII boykissers 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

who wanna pay me I want an apple pie pls

Hi

Hi 👋

Gsrlr

I want a girl on my lap and a jagerbomb !!!! 🪤

The ideal weekend: looking at #cute Sonadow pics on DeviantArt and Fur Affinity ❣️❣️❣️ MY weekend: @ work !!! 🤬🤬🤬

Nice guys like me... heh. We always finish last 😅. Guess that's just how the cookie crumbles! Anyways... I like you... you like me..? Let's take this one step further 🙂. No? Oh.. that's okay 👌. Just know that I'm the best you would ever have 😂

I hope you shrivel up and turn in to a cute cicada I would keep you in my room but I wouldn't be happy about it

Wow this album cover moves

Happpppy BIRDATY! 🧤🕳️🪤 (special selection of comforting emojis)

Bye now

yay

That's ummm that's a lot of uhhh a lot of um Car Seat um Headrest

School bell go ding dong ding

My names carbon I have been a carving

⚠️ TO THE PERSON OR ❌🫵 VAGINA WIG 🦪 💨 THAT FINDS THIS: ⚠️ 🧙‍♂️✨ You are now cursed 🔥 with 42 days of male-patterned alopecia 🧑‍🦲 on your 🍑 butthole. You also will not ❌🙅 be able to watch Netflix 📺 for 42 years. 💀 Good luck. 🖤💋 Love, Stanley Merkin – The “Vagina Wig King” 👑🎭

*does a big sigh* welp... That's me..I guess...

Is it embarrassing if my eye got an infection because i was playing skyrim everyday for 6+ hours last week or no. Importanr.

My beautiful theremin...

Auditioning for Alvin and the chipmunks the musical. As all of the chipmunks. If you'd like to be Dave too bad I'm him too.

New goal: I will collect all of my contacts, compile them into a ball and make a faux jellyfish. It will be put in a museum. I don't care if you think I'm gross. It's what I want