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grace for drowning tour coming here in april :) I'm gonna see both opeth and steven wilson that month, not bad, huh?! xD

How was dream theater? Did you really went? My drumming teacher said that when he saw then Labrie completely fucked up the show xD

What worries me more on this situation are the families. They say they do that to protect the "foundations" of the family. Then again see what happens when they have a gay son or daughter, it's so rare the cases where they actually change their views, most of them just crush the kid until they completely destroy their ACTUAL family over the one they believe is the "right" one. And they manage to blame the poor fella for it. For fuck's sake, are these people even sane? I always feel like there's a stone over my chest when I hear another story of a suicide over a scenario like this. ~~~~~~ Ok, I guess I did enough on that rambling xD, I'll take a look at that movie you said, oh and can you recommend me some good movies? I see you and David are truly lovers of the art xD my dad only get those stupid movies full of shooting and cars exploding ¬_¬

And don't even get me started on hell, that's just ridiculous. If there really is a god, he wouldn't call himself all loving much less all forgiving if he really had something such as hell for those who wouldn't do as he says, instead he would make it clear from the start that he is wrathful and intolerant (wich would make him no different than any stupid human leader full of power, he isn't superior to anyone, it's just that the poorer can't really face him). ~~~~~ If there really is something beyond this life I don't think it's written on any of our religious books, people from the past had as much acces to what is beyond than we do now, you can't really know until you die ;) so why put so much credit over their tales and folklores? No one is more important than anyone, no mather what they do, say or think, we just have our lives and that's it.

And I see your point there, another thing that bugs me a lot is their concept of "perfection", I dunno, they say god is perfect and nothing else can attain this "quality", I really don't know how the fuck I never questioned that while I was still in church, take a look at god's actions at the old testament, in what is described there he is completely full of human emotions, he loves, he hates, rewards and enrages himself, like any stupid human would do, there's nothing there that transcends us, yet they put him like something that is all above human and can't be understood by us. ~~~~ MY ASS! To me the very notion of perfect inside such concept is absurd, there just can't be such a thing, they just set ideals for righteousness over tribal like thinking, and each individual forms their own idea of "perfect" over how they would punish those who don't fit inside those ideals. Hard to believe such a thing still satnds strong to this day.

I actually think the "~~~~" idea is great and I have adopted it for myself ever since I started talking to David :) and yai! I'm having opeth here in april! Did we already talk about their live shows earlier? My head is so blurred right now >-< it's so fucking hard to remenber what I talked to wich person o-O

Did I just went too far over a matter you're not very willing to discuss? '-' We could just turn to something else if you say so :) cheers man \o/

It's cool man xD, no need to call yourself an ass because of it ~~ also, forgot to tell you that you looked awesome in that concert (should I call it a concert?), love how the lights were used on that stage, and the drawings look really good. :)

Sad to hear your weekend went all to shit :/ ~~ and I already hate having to work in saturday mornings. ._.

Just got back, hope I didn't scare the shit out of you with all that text, how was your christmas? I'm short haired now :( will have to take a new picture sometime. hope you have a great year :)

With all that wall of text I sent you I forgot to tell you what my next weeks are gonna be like. Sorry from pasting this from another friend's shoutbox, but I really can't type this much during work, it will get me in trouble D; ~~~~~ here goes ~~~~~~ "I'm telling this to everyone right now, my parents are forcing me to cut my hair today :( say they don't want me working with it this long. 4 years down the drain ¬_¬ maybe I'll change my profile picture, it will be depressing to look at my long haired self every time I use this site. After this I'm spending the next two weeks at a seaside town near são paulo, only things I'm looking forward there are biking and having a cigar with a friend I have there (not the smartest of combinations I guess xD) I have no internet there, so I disappear for a little while. So, next weeks are gonna be somewhat boring." ~~~~ Are you having any better luck than me with your holidays???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And with the douchebag thing (did you notice how much I love to put “thing” on things? xD) I’m really starting to believe some girls actually LIKE that kind of assholes ¬_¬

Ok enough with that matter xD ~~ I know that the self steern thing is full of ups and downs, but it really gets you worried when you’re stuck with that ever since you’re 16, and almost no progress has been made. About the driving thing, it’s been something I live with almost every day, I should’ve been driving around with no trouble by now, yet I’m still full of stupid mistakes and I have a really slow reaction time. The drumming thing is not only a creative dip, I have problems memorizing patterns and stuff ever since I started playing, I can’t get very far without looking at some stupid sheet, and also, poor motor skills have been taking their toll on me, although it’s far from being any serious disorder, I haven’t had the best motor coordination ever since I’m a little kid. Those things kinda put you down when you really wish to be better at things and it takes so much time and effort to make very little progress ._.

~~ and having that with the absolute certainty that they’re right because the church supports then makes then THAT more passionate about it. The bigotry it inserts in society makes its way into people of high profile, so you’ll see negligence coming from high school principals who refuse to help the gay kid who gets bullied in a daily basis, to judges alleviating charges over hate crimes. Teen suicides over those things is something that disheartens me deeply.

And all that evil in the name of those childish beliefs that you just described. Apparently any kind of sanity can disappear and any concept of goodness distorted when one talks about an omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent being that will decide if you will spend all of eternity in paradise or burning in a lake of fire. ~~ Hell, even among they don’t make sense even among their own beliefs! The bible CLEARLY says that no sin is bigger than another, yet homosexuals are seen like a major threat to then, some even go as far as saying that allowing same sex marriages is an offense to their own rights and freedom. Just in what form is something that I have no idea. ~~ Christian culture is powerful in this side of the globe, and that’s dangerous for those people, being able to bash and hate any group of people that acts and thinks differently from them is something that weak minded people yearn for ~~~

The empathy that exists between the members of a congregation is only valid if you fit into what they consider to be correct, if something inside you is different from that they’ll talk to you non-stop to make you change your mind and get out of those views, and in the more extreme cases they will use any means necessary, no matter how absurd or humiliating, to remove that from you (search youtube for gay exorcism and you’ll get the idea). They’re dead serious about that heaven for those who repent to christ and hell to everyone else thing, questioning it is something that doesn’t even occur to 99,9% of then, and apparently you can’t repent properly if you’re not exactly as they tell you to be and think. They’re so oblivious to how hypocritically they act that they don’t even see what they do as evil or wrong, some are so damn alienated that they say homosexuals are liars and are deliberately working for satan. Wonder just how ridiculous can they get? xD

Yep, that’s exactly what I meant, sorry for not making it too clear xD ~~ it’s the way the bible is worded and taught that makes then who they are, I’ve been raised frequenting churches every Sunday my whole life, I know how things work there better than most atheist/agnostic people. Altough many preachers make use of hate speech, even in churches where they don’t you’ll see the same kind of disapproval and despise towards many kinds of people (although in a somewhat lesser form than in the ones where hate speech is non-stop). It’s just that the bible’s teachings gives no insight on who people really are and how things work, it has a lot of tribal-like teachings about morality, things we should and shouldn’t do, accept or believe and they unjustly associate those things to goodness of a person. They automatically disregard anything that deviates from their concepts as evil, false and a tool in satan’s plan.

Trains from one city to another aren’t cheap here either, but the subways that travel inside São Paulo aren’t that expensive (R$2,90 per passage), most people here use it in a daily basis (2 to 3 times a day for almost everyone, and we have a gargantuan 11 million population here) it would by far exceed our average salaries if it would cost anything as far as 15 euros xD ~ Students have 50% off their passages, sadly I’m not one anymore =;( ~ I never had to move for another town for a concert, to this day I haven’t known of a single band that came here and didn’t play at São Paulo, some really huge bands even went as far as playing only a single concert here instead of properly touring Brazil (wich makes people from all other regions really angry at us xDDD). To be honest, no one really tours Brazil properly, you rarely see anyone playing in other places other than SP and Rio de Janeiro. Sometimes there’s 2 or 3 dates more than those but that’s it.

Ha was het maar waar :P ik kwam het gifje per toeval op slashbeee tegen

Seens that your night was something very interesting huh?! yes send me the piuctures when you can, I want to see what everyone was doing, the stage, artists and DJs, I never heard of anything even remotely like that happening around here :) ~~ Talking about self esteem, mine's been shit lately, I'm feeling like I'm too damn slow at anything and just can't do some things right, like I'm retarded or something ¬_¬ my father won't stop criticizing me because I have a driver license for 2 years and still aim't a good driver, I'm not really satisfied with how I'm going in work, nor with my drum playing, it's like I have some serious difficulties in things I should already know for a long time, and talking of girls I feel like I'm in a coma, nothing ever happens, really, it's getting to the point where I actualy feel inferior in some sense when I see a dude with a girl, pathetic isn't it? Nuff said, I'm not really well right now ._.

sorry for stoping writting, I had to leave the office, I'm home now, so lemme continue :) ~~~ Wow, how tragic, he went down the stairs and then it was seven xD wonder what the fuck went through his mind to make him feel like this was something so bad hahahaha ~~~ I never seen anyone in my house get drunk, my family is too damn religious for that (so much as to the point that I never really told them I'm not eating any of this shit anymore, otherwise it would completely ruin our relations, wich is one of the things that been making me somewhat dissapointed at then =/) ~~ My aunt is probably the best person in my family, she isn't much of a religious person, and hardly takes seriously any of the things they try so hard to demoralize and prohibit.

And I get what you mean with the friends thing, I think I have a friend who I think has just got into weed, maybe I shold stick with him and then try it too? xDDDD And I've heard about MDMA making people feel like they're much closer to one another, and that staying even after the drug wears off, xD would be awesome to try that with that particular friend. Hope I don't do shit and scare the fuck outta him ahahahahaha

Looks like things didn't give you much peace, huh? My parents have very little trouble between thenselves, mostly it's with me right now, but that's another story wich I'm not too sure I really want to talk much about, mostly it's being worked out just fine, but y'know, as much as it makes me sad I think some resentment will stay for quite a while. ~~~~ Immortal are quite funny xD, I don't know, no matter how much they try to look all grim and evil with all that painting, leather and spikes, I always saw then as Black Metal's most likeable band xD ~~~~ And how does traveling by train works there? is it too expensive? the voyage is pretty long too, is it possible to go, see the concert and return the same day? There's always a shitload of people who do just that with busses here in Brazil, there's hardly any big band that play any cities other than São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro, so they're somewhat forced to do that, there's always someone that asks me where I'm from at any concert I go.

Wow, I'm starting to get worried with what that skyrim might do with my life, I'm finally about to buy a PS3 for me, and from what my friends told me, I'm planning to get Skyrim as one of my first games. You still didn't send any reply till today xD

Haha ik zag je post staan bij dat event van M83 in de Melkweg, wist niet dat jij dat vet vond

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BUMDwCEsBU he doesn't walk like that all the time, but you can get the idea, hope you don't mind some serious beer bellies being exposed in all their shirtless glory. :)

I still owe you abbath walking like a crab :(

HALLO MENEERTJE SCHADUWWOLFJE

And about my experiences with alcohol, well, it’s not only about knowing your limits, it seens the effects differs greatly from person to another, xD, some people get violent, others just laugh like a hyena at anything that happens, and others just get a little extroverted and feeling nice (me 8D) if they don’t overdo it ~~ have you ever seen someone getting depressed after drinking??? It’s so fucking retarded you just can’t stop laughing when you see it xDDDD they just grab any random stranger they see around and start crying all their life over their shoulder, I remember when that happened to that friend I mentioned on my last shout, he was freaked like that dude was a rapist or something hahaha ~oh the “conffesions” and phrases those guys make are just hilarious xD

I really hope those tickets show up when the concert is near, road salt sounds awesome live, I can barely wait for then to come here again in support of RS2. I haven’t seen opeth yet, but from what I heard they’re probably awesome too ;) ~~ I have just read a little about smartshops (didn’t even know what those were before you talked about it, we don’t have anything like that here in brazil xD) it seens the Netherlands are somewhat liberal towards then, huh?! xD ~~ And I seriously doubt I’ll ever try mdma with my best friend, he starts geting freaked when I go anything over a single shot of whiskey xDDD, maybe I’ll try with my sister, she once told me she wanted badly to know what mdma feels like, she is four years younger than me, oh, what an exemplar older brother I am. >-< I’ll grab you a vid of abbath moving like a crab later, I’m at work now, so I can’t search for it xD

Oh, and since you recommended that I go to any Steven Wilson concerty when I have the chance, I think I should do the same to you. Have you ever saw any Pain of Salvation concert ??? They're fucking brilliant! Daniel Gildenlöw is amazing live, not only the singing but his overall stage performance makes him easily the most charming frontman I've ever saw in my whole life. xDDDD You should see then when they play near you xD

you really did like that pink freud huh? ~~ Guess I put up some more images, I'll try to be really carefull, it's easy to let it go downhill and I don't want my pagve full of stupid images, I just want really good ones xD

I tried to meet a friend of mine there, but sadly she got stuck up at work and only managed to get there almost by the time the band was going to play, we couldn't meet affter the concert started, that was really dissapointing, hope that luck changes with satyricon xD

Talking about concerts with weirdos making funny faces, I guess I mentioned to you I was going to see immortal right? I know it's just not your cup of tea, but damn, I had so much fun there, Abbaths faces on stage are just priceless! Sometimes he even looks like a crab the way he moves on stage, the crowd was fucking insane, I never sweated so much at any other fucking concert I've attended. The sound wasn't perfect, the venue was very little in my oppinion, but again that's not the bands fault, they played their shit and they did it very well xD ~~ I'm going to see satyricon in a feel weeks, they don't really have any funny attitudes, but that makes the black metal circuit unusually active around here xD we almost never have those bands playing in Brazil ;p ~~ Sadly I didn't get to see the band, I've waited like 20 minutes before leaving the house, just to see if they would show up, would be funny as hell to see then and (at least try to) talk a little if then xD

Don't mind my dramatic complaints, they're just supposed to be funny xD ~~~~ Now you made me feel like I am still a little kid at school with all that drug talk xDDDD seryously, where do you get those sort of things?! xD the only places I know here to get some weed are some nasty ghettos I don't even like to approach '-' and I have no fucking idea where to find the other ones xDDDD ~~ And about alchool, I've never drinked it 'till I became a total moron, I kinda know my limits by now, my favourite point is where the floor feels soft like I'm stepping on pillows and talking feels a little more pleasant, going too much beyond that is really lame, makes you act like you're retarded, and I hate the headache it brings after a few hours. And I never hit a fist on anyone I guess xD dunno, it just seen I'm not cut out for that, I just can't seen to get violent towards anyone xD except towards myself maybe ._. ~~ And good luck with that girl, hope things go okay for you xD

I still exist ._.

And as much as I'm happy that I didn't turn out like one of those said douchebags, I can't really credit myself for that, I didn't really have that kind of insight at the time, I didn't turn out different from then because I knew they sucked and wanted something better for me, I did because I really couldn't be one of then no matter whatever the fuck I tried xD sometimes a fail is a win \o/ ~~~~ And we're so damn alike when it comes to how we take things (the whole positive/negative thing I mean) it's a bit scary xD ~~~~ Oh, and I forgot to say, Mr. Walker was a succes :3 I think it was almost a miracle that nobody got any serious hangover, specially me, my friends make some really weird faces after they take just a sip, and I easilly go through some big cups and without any cube of ice 8D it really seens I'm a drunk, but really, I'm not xD

Badly produced? But I think their production is awesome D; ~~~~ Really a shame you couldn't hear the druns well, because they're masterfully done there. Never smoked weed yet, it's ilegal here and I never had the chance, not that I have anything against it xD my sister once had a boyfriend that used to smoke it, she did it too and told me it's really good, maybe I'll try when I have the chance 8D ~~~~ For me things are a bit worse, I'm really getting worried with myself, you see, I'm not even dating anyone for more years than I can allow myself to admit it. ._.

3 days late? ._.

hope I didn't freak the fuck out of you with that horrible rant '-'

enough of whining on this, it's not something that happens everywhere, just some of the worst cases around here. ~~~I see exactly what you mean about start thinking a lot and paying a lot of attention to things, I remenber very well how it was for me, and in some time I started to appreciate the little I had much more than the popular stereotype (wich when I was dumb seemed like something completely mystical and unattainable, and by now looks like a joke to me) that surounded everything. And I also felt what you're describing about dressing well, you always feel more confident when you feel you're looking fine. Will check that store you've recommended, I haven't bought new clothes in some time now xD

part2: I always go back to my emotional masochism ¬_¬ ~~~ It's not that I'm religious or anything, it's just that I hate how banally people treat relantionships nowadays, and I'm not really interested in taking part in that. You've got to see how things are like in some of our public schools here, kids are screwing at 13~14, I'm not really the anti-teen-sex activist kind (in fact, I think that their obsession on the question has quite it's share to blame on this), but damn, that's just unnatural and gross, I mean it's so damn forced, none of then are really ready to deal with that, it's hard to tell what's pushing then to it, probably many things by now. I remenber of some dude being seriously bullied because he was a virgin at 16 ¬_¬.

No need to be sorry xD I luv talking to people 8D ~~~~ I understand how you feel about geting all of steven wilson's stuff, I too get like that sometimes, specialy when some band is about to play a concert here xD, and don't worry, I'll sure as hell listen to all of his porcupine tree stuff. Oh, I didn't say that negură bunget has no clean vocals, it's just that the harsh ones are like 75% or something xD ~~~I'm about to see my friends tommorow, will be giving a 2 week late birthday present to one of then, a black label bottle to be exact, I hope he gets happy hahahaha ~~~ And I'm not really that different to you when it comes to relationships, only difference is that it's not that things start and then go wrong, it's that things never really start, I haven't been able to find someone in years now, and it's making me feel really low, I too am an emotional guy, and I guess I've been taking things the worst way possible, no matter how much I try to tell myself that, it just never works

hey, don't worry about that, I'm not nearly as pissed as that face looks, I won't do that again, promise xD

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