I believe Not Going Out back on next week?!

Elton John is a wanker. Always has been. Well, that last bit's a guess to be honest, but an educated one. I see today that One Direction are the first band ever to debut at Number One or something in America. Hurrah. What's Going On - to quote Marvin (Gaye not from JLS).

HA yourself! Yes I did. It was good in a Superbowl kind of way. Obviously disappointed most of it was mimed but I guess judging by the theatrics of it all she didn't have much choice. Favourite quote of today, Englebert Humperdink on his Eurovision song 'it's a grower, not one you can just play once & like'. Handy for Eurovision then.

See your previous post?

So, how's the new Bruce album. Madonna releases a new one next week, but I have concerns, so have low hopes for it.

I will deifinitely check it out - I promise. In the meantime, you seen the line up for V? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17172343 Stone Roses, Happy Mondays, Killers, Human League, etc...Plus Olly Murs (?!)

I used to own Wonderful on tape. Was a good album from what I remember. I believe Jon is gearing up for another album yes. I haven't heard a great album for ages, a lot of recent ones I've bought have been okay but nothing brilliant (Noel Gallagher, RHCP, Kaisers). Best line so far in Alan Partridge book 'He was missing the middle fingers on his left hand, so he couldn't swear but was constantly doing the heavy metal sign'. However, even that isn't as genius as Tim Vine's latest "conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes'.

.....http://soundcloud.com/jonfratelli

I'm 39, I grew up with Adam Ant. Not literally obviously. Although only got back into him a couple of years back when I re-purchased Hits. When I listen to him now I forget how out there and different he was - take Apollo 9 for example.

Why didn't I go? Why? Offically very annoyed with myself.

Have you seen the pictures of Al Pacino playing him? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2021869/Phil-Spector-biopic-Al-Pacino-dons-curly-wig-shades-look-just-like-music-legend-killer-producer.html

I am actually planning a murder but am unlikely to go through with it. Also, I believe posting that you are going to murder someone on a public forum can get you arrested so I deny everything. I have absolutely no gigs planned for this year which may be the first time for many a decade. Eventually this new music venue will get built in Leeds & that'll be good (except maybe for you as it may mean less gigs in Manchester). Vaccines should be great. Good debut.

Yeah, lovely. Seems like a long time ago now. Looks like MaxJax has imploded by the way. How's things? What does 2012 hold? Did you get Bruce tickets?

Darn. Just read you last message to me, & I forgot to watch Screenwipe. Anyhoo...Happy Xmas/New Year etc. Did you have a good one? Describe it in as much detail as you can please. You have 90 minutes.

hello, neighbour!

No, I forgot, Have set Sky plus for the rest though and will catch up. Take it it's good? Just reading Brooker's last book again. Suprisingly for a book made up of pre-printed articles, it's even better the 2nd time round. One of my favourite lines has to be about when Carly Zucker was in I'm a Celebrity he said she freaked him out as she sounded like a baby trying to say his name. Brilliant.

No I didn't. I always forget about BBC 4. Well, not so much forget about it rather than not think about it. Now, I'm not fan of Jeremy Clarkson but this country's fucking mental. I was watching the interview when he said these comments and he WAS JOKING!!! Jesus H Smith. Where is everyone nowadays anyway?

On the brighter side, at least he's married to Anita Dobson, who has seen a career upsurge ever since Aloe Blacc sung about her earlier this year.

Ha! Really? Queen at Wembley was on last week. Just brilliant. If you haven't already check out Adam Lambert & Queen - a million times better than that Roy Rogers bird.

Bastards. RHCP have made some great, great records but hav yet to deliver a perfect album in my opinion. Is set my iTunes library to play my mistake so I wasn't really listening to Dave Matthews so you can be a little less surprised. I'm supposed to be seeing George Michael on December 3rd and just found out he's in hospital with pneumonia. I hope he doesn't carc it, I'll start getting a complex.

I remember saying I liked them before and you didn't respond so I presumed not. Were they good, I'd waited years to see them & were slightly disappointed as Kiedes seemed like he didn't want to be there & they didn't do Under The Bridge which was a major disappointment. I haven't got the new album yet though.

Hello. I presumed everyone was dead. Yes, I have. Would be better if I wasn't just watching a miniature David Brent. The scene with Liam Neeson was sublime however. Curb has been excellent though. Do I see that you went to see RHCP? Didn't think they were your 'bag'?

"We need to talk about Alan" - brilliant subtitle. Also, how good is TV at the moment? Boardwalk, Sopranos, Curb, Idiot Abroad. All Sky. Did you watch Four Lions when it was on? It's still on my Sky+ but looking forward to it. You still skint/unemployed. Or to coin a phrase I've just made up skunemployed.

Enjoying the Turner, specifically Peggy, I Still Believe, One Foot..., If I Stray. Very strange, as in he's in a bit of a league of his own. It's like listening to a BBC Four history documentary sung by a Rock & Roll band.

I'll take you up on the CD. Think of it as teh birthday present you're not getting from me. Yes, I remembered, it's in my calendar. I wish I could buy & send you something but alas apathy is stopping me. Nevertheless I hope Birthday Santa is good to you. I've been okay but very busy here & there but that should calm down now thanks to Project One- but then you don't need reminding about that.

Fucking HMV have cancelled the Turner CD - saying discontinued.

Excellent. Boardwalk is back on Saturday. Are you watching Curb? Still haven't got Frank yet. Yes, I'm in a hurry.

Jon was awesome, the album sounds amazing live & did most of Costello Music & a couple of CVCs as well plus a sublime cover of Runaround Sue (see if it's on the You Tube). Heady Tale at the end as well.

Bastard rioters. Send them to East Africa see what real problems are. Cunts. Anyhoo, when you seeing Jon? Also did you know that the woman who played Sal's wife in Sopranos was his wife in real life. Also read that at Steven's wedding, Bruce was best man, Little Richard performed the ceremony & Percy Sledge sang 'When a Man Loves a Woman' at the reception. That should be under the definition of cool in the dictionary.

Been working from Copenhagen recently, which I'd say isn't as glamorous as it sounds but actually it is. Fully recommend it. Franks album still annoyingly out of stock. Got Jon Fratelli next week, what day are you going?

Indeed. Hurrah! Thank funk. Where the hull have you been anyway?

The Japanese POWs are kicking you out? That's a bit harsh. What you doing after that?

Excellent. I'm already excited. Did you ever see the Big Brother one he wrote? Where you been anyway?

Haha yeah I know. I found myself laughing out loud from the acronym to the end. Very cool. It's weird, I think things like that are more likely to get me into an artist sometimes. I think for some artists, you have to know what they're like in order to 'get' them. I'm heading into town in a bit, might pick up an album if it's not too expensive.

Hahahaha! PEHDTSCJKJMBA. That is fucking awesome haha.

Haha, yeah I watched that last night. It was pretty cool. I really need to put more time into him, but never get round to it.

Nice one. I thank you, sir. You haven't been about lately, you arse. You massive arse.

Fancy giving me a hand with a few lyrics next time I see you? I've just picked the song back up that I started before I got ill, and I've essentially finished it, but my lyrics are shit and gay.

Seriously, though. You should build up a portfolio of this sort of stuff. There's a definite writing style (namely: I hate you, I'm right and you're wrong) which could definitely appeal to a certain group of people (the good cunts). I think you'd do a good job at it.

Your notes on Facebook are better than anything I've read on NME. Apply for them, and take over the NME world (employ me, too).

Well, at least ours would have a fucking good soundtrack. Although, looting the local stores to the sound of 'I Wanna Be Your Lover' might not do much for being taken seriously.

Oh dear. On the bright side, you won't be there for much longer, so you can just do what the FUCK you want. Hooray! I only have three weeks left, too. I think we should celebrate.

A small improvement. Still not great, though. I've actually had the energy to get in the shower today. I was about to text you, and that text would have read something like this: "I'LL BITE YOUR FACE OFF. I've just been imagining what it would be like to 'bump into' Alice in a bar, and it's actually scaring me already. How did your meeting go?"

http://soundcloud.com/jonfratelli

Yeah I know. Crazy. Mind you, it's well known in some circles that she'll be dead by Christmas.

My mistake. I knew you'd like 'Band Played Just For Me', I thought it was very Springsteen-esque. Or Bruce-like, whichever way you want to say it.

I meant Ha! as that's also what you said, not Ha! as in it's funny. Twat-end.

Ha, Just listening to a Jon Fratelli interview. He said he went to see 'The Wall' recently and saw people crying. Did you get the album yet?

I dunno, I just bought the CD for £3 and thought I'd give it a go. Quite simply, it's okay. Nothing awful, nothing that great.. Even if I can't help but sing along to 'Here I Go Again'. This could be good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7hM4HI-G_g