Biography
Born as twins, the lovechildren of Pat Robertson and Sigmund Freud, as children they were trained extensively in the exotic arts: finger painting, traveling potato sales, and mandarin chinese. On their sixteenth birthday, they were released into society in a petting zoo in Effingham, Illinois. There they taught themselves goatriding and necrophilia.
All was well, until one fateful night, Xavier was dreaming his standard mayonnaise bath nightmare, when he was saved from the cholesterol horror by a winged Gibson SG with the words "BETTER THAN VIAGRA" written on it in orange crayon. He knew this meant something, so he went to Rent-A-Center and rented a drum set for $14.99. The next day, Conrad fished an old skateboard from a dumpster behind the Zimbabwean Embassy and using only a rusty butter knife, carved it into a guitar. They began to teach each other their instruments, and once the month was over, the Rent-A-Center Collection Army came for their drums. The duo had realised their destiny, however and refused to give up the drums. They fled the country to South America and lived for three years in El Dorado, the home of their biggest fanbase.
In those three years, Conrad rose through the ranks of the Mayan Nationalist Army to become a six-and-a-half star General, and Xavier earned his P.H.D. in Banana Peels at the El Dorado Community College. Unfortunately, they were found by the Rent-A-Center Collection Army, so they again had to flee, this time to Fort Wayne, Indiana. There they continued to play to apathetic and often belligerent crowds.
In 2009 A.D.; the duet conglomerated with a similar duet, Nitro Muffin, which happened to also contain Conrad into a four piece band entitled Viagra Muffin.
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