Lyrics
Well, Christmas is here
It sends shivers up my spine
Cuz this part of the year
Is my least favorite time
I don't stuff stockings
I don't buy dead trees
I only like shopping
If the shopping is for me
The food makes me fatter
Christmas cookies taste like wood
Ugly sweaters don't flatter
And I prefer to look good
The weather is nasty
The crowds are insane
Don't be mad at me
But I just gotta say
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I hate the music
And pretending winter is fun
It's the worst season (Everybody knows it)
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I don't wanna do it
Let me skip this one
So I can have fun
You can call me a killjoy
A curmudgeon, a grinch
But I call it like I see it
And I won't give an inch
I don't need Santa
I can buy shit for myself
I don't care about
Job security for an elf
Traditions don't matter
Sometimes they're obscene
Let me give an example
So you see what I mean
Name one other time
You would ever drink egg nog
If you don't like what I'm sayin'
You can suck my yule log, cuz
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I hate the music
And pretending winter is fun
It's the worst season (Everybody knows it)
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
I don't wanna do it
Let me skip this one
So I can have fun
Now I know what you're gonna say
You're gonna say, "Maybe you don't like Christmas,
because you haven't met the right Christmas yet."
But we all know, that's not how that works.
I've tried Christmas 35 times!
It's NOT WORKING FOR ME
But they say don't complain about a
problem without offering a solution
Fine. Next year, no Christmas. Just two Halloweens!
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
Nobody likes it
All the smiles are fake
Nobody wants no fruitcake (throw that shit out)
Christmas
Christmas is bullshit
We don't have to do it
We can skip this one
So we can have fun
This song is done