Biography
The Story Begins in 1994.
Davey and Flyhead were attending the same high school when a mutual friend introudced them. Not hitting it off at first, they slowly realized they shared some of the same interests. They Immiediately built a studio in Daveys Grandparents Basement called "DEF MONKEY". Calling theirselves BAG OF HAMMERS, they recorded an E.P. named "The Titti Demo". Davey's Uncle Gravey even supplied them with BAG OF HAMMERS Magnets from his magnet factory. Davey and Flyhead spent all summer mowing lawns to make enough money to release "The Tittie Demo" tape. The Guys packaged the magnets in the tape cases not realizing that magnets erase tapes.
1995 - Deeply saddened by their miscalculation, Davey and Flyhead decide to call it quits. Davey and Flyhead do not speak for several months.
1996 - Davey and Flyhead bump into eachother in the police station. Both of them have black eyes from separate and unrelated beatdowns. Shortly after, Flyhead joins the Air Force. Davey goes off to recording school. Davey and Flyhead keep intouch.
1997 - Flyhead leaves the Air Force and heads back to Detroit to reform BAG OF HAMMERS with Davey. Davey and Flyhead get funding from I.H.S. Recordings. Bag of Hammers release a self recorded E.P. called "The Sample Rock" on tape….this time, without BAG OF HAMMERS Magnets inside. Davey also releases his first solo CD called "LSD" under the name "Home-Les". D.J. Postal is allowed to join BAG OF HAMMERS despite the fact that a gun fell out of his pants at his audition. BAG OF HAMMERS begin doing live shows. Nobody cares.
1998 - BAG OF HAMMERS sign a deal with indie lable DAVIES PRODUCTIONS to release "The Tittie Demo"……..now re-recorded and being called "Back up, Junkie!" Davey and Flyhead pay the lable for studio time, once again, mowing lawns all summer. Half way thru recording the CD, DJ Postal goes to jail. BAG OF HAMMERS play one show during this time.
1999 - "Back up, Junkie!" is completed. D.J. Postal gets out of jail. The Lable informs BAG OF HAMMERS that they will not be able to release their cd. The Lable instead releases a CD from the band that the lable owner is a member of. BAG OF HAMMERS are forced to get real jobs but still are able to release "Back up, Junkie!" with the help of I.H.S. Recordings. Bag of Hammers Tour to support the CD but are forced off the road after several problems with D.J. Postal.
2000 - Bag of Hammers begin work on a new CD. After much debating, D.J. Postal is fired from BAG OF HAMMERS. Flyhead reclaims D.J. spot. Davey and Flyhead buy an abandoned Fire Station with some of their lawn mowing money. BAG OF HAMMERS open a Ghost-Busting Business called "The CRACK WHORES", which oddly enough, is quite successful. Still rapping in their spare time, I.H.S. Recordings release the "…when i ate your brain" E.P. and "Return of the Crack Whores" vol 1 and 2.
2001 - D.J. Flyhead is scheduled to begin work on a solo cd when he shatters his hand at the video shoot for "….when i ate your brain" and is unable to scratch. Davey is attacked while at work busting ghosts by a Werewolf. I.H.S. demands a new cd from BAG OF HAMMERS so Davey records "Heaven is a CRack House".
2002 - D.J.Flyhead is awarded a Championship Belt from I.H.S. Upon the release of "Mouthful of Barbwire", Flyhead is informed he must defent the title during BAG OF HAMMERS shows. The most memorable being a LADDER match against Davey at a show at the OLD MIAMI in Detroit.
Christmas 2002 - At the I.H.S. Records Christmas party, BAG OF HAMMERS and their new pal STEPHAN the RETARD cause an explosion in the FireStation. Davey and Flyhead are in turn Fired and lose the rights to their old recordings. The city of Detroit condems The Ghostformation Station.
2003 - Bag of Hammers begin recieving gifts from an annonymous sender. New Studio Equipment. Toys. Piles of Money. Bags of drugs. The sender turns out to be Mr. Question-Mark, a fan who saw them at the BACK UP, JUNKIE! CD RELEASE Party. Mr. Question-Mark signs BAG OF HAMMERS and Stephan the Retard to his World Championship Wrecords corporation. Davey opens "The Offices of WEED and COFFEE" recording studio, while across town, Flyhead and Stephan open the World Championship Wrecords Warehouse called "The Animal Factory". avey and Stephan the Retard record "the special olympics" ep and "i'm wee todd did" BAG OF HAMMERS release the smash hit "Bride of the AIDS BRAIN". Stephan the Retard begins touring with BAG OF HAMMERS.
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The next part of the story is where opinions differ, but this is the version most people agree on and also the version my grandma used to read me before bed as a little girl.
2004 - One day, Davey, Flyhead and Stephan were playing a wrestling video game and relaxing when a Telegram arrived at the Office. It was from Mr. Question-Mark, who was now making his residence in Europe somewhere. The Telegram stated that World Championship Wrecords had Re-Aquired The GHOSTFORMATION STATION. Davey and Flyhead were Shocked. "I Thought the city condemmed that Shit hole?" exclaimed Flyhead. Bag of Hammers were to go to the station and begin clean up.
After the Explosion, most of the Duct work was ruined. Bag of Hammers were to make nessacary repairs. Further directions stated they were to Re-Open the Ghostbusting Business for the Fall and begin work on the new Bag of Hammers Record "Return of the CrackWhores Vol.5" Silence Struck the room.
Davey, Flyhead and Stephan the Retard arrived at the door of the old Ghostformation Station early on a Saturday morning. After brewing a fresh pot of Coffee, they began the hefty task of cleaning. How could 2 people have done this much damage? Stephan quipped that it was unfair that he had to clean, since he wasn't part of the band at the time when Davey and Flyhead fucked everything up.
The major part of the damage was in Duct D, also known as The Ghost Prison. Upon entering, Bag of Hammers noticed the atmosphere was rich with static. Also, everything was now in black and white. Duct D also had paths leading to several other areas in the building, however all of the entrances were illuminated with neon glows. Stephan the Retard peeked inside Duct Double E. "Its all Fuckin Dinasaurs!" he yelled. Confused, Davey looked inside Duct W. It the dining room of a medieval castle. Flyhead looked inside Duct E. "This is shitty man, it looks like home……holy crap………except for all this MONEY…..and DRUGS……..and where did all these freakin bitches come from?!?!
Bag of Hammers deduced that DUCT D had turned into some sort of WARP ZONE leading to The Past, the Future and to Alternate realities, several Realms and probebly a Dimention or 2. Bag of Hammers also voted unanimously NOT to return to their own Dimention. "They all hate us there!" said Davey. "Nobody Respects us and they all think we suck anyway so Fuck it" agreed Flyhead.
Fuck it, indeed. And so began The Adventure of Bag of Hammers Extreme……
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