I still remember that night.
Sitting in silence hoping,
but I already knew you were gone.
Confirmation stabbed in me cracking out until all parts
of me collapsed and any semblance of hope turned to ash.
I can't count how many times
i thought of following you,
almost wishing each new wave of agony would finally push me to the
end. I know you'll never hear those messaged i left but i still wish
we could exchange
words and laughs one more time.
Or that i could even hear your voice, your breath responding to mine.
There are so many things i wish
i could say in that moment or the last time we spoke,
when i was really the last voice that you heard on this earth.
No one ask why we all saw the pain in your eyes that you
tried to hide with a smile, it was such a beautiful smile.
We never, never believed in heaven.
But i still hope you are in that house by the Beach. No,
no more pain in this life. You can rest now, but i miss you.
they said you looked so peaceful and i don't know if i wish i could
have seen you like that, no struggle,
no pain, you're unchained from this earth.
But all i can picture in my mind is an angel in the rope.
I'm so sorry that i couldn't help you.
I wanted you to be free from the tangles thorns.
I want to go back, back to a time when our hearts beat as one.
In the end I can't accept that I'm still here and you are not.