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I Pooped My Pants (in a Bowling Alley) - Lyrics

Oh man I pooped my pants again
Right in front of my family and my friends
It's not that I have a problem with controlling
It's just that we were here in this alley bowling

And I was in the middle of the best round of my life
I wanted to impress my family and my wife (we've been having troubles)

It's started when I scored my second strike
I was in just the kinda rythm that I liked
That's when my bowels told me it was time to get moving
I told them to slow down don't mess this up I'm grooving

I kept getting strikes and I thought I was gonna make it
But then my bowels decided that they couldn't take it
I stood there with my cheeks in a tight tight squeeze
But that wasn't enough cause the poop started dripping past my knees!

Let it all over the alley floor
The owner came and told me that I couldn't bowl there any more
I begged him saying "I'm just two strikes away from a perfect game!"
He didn't care at all about that, he just called me a nasty name

And of course now my wife wants to
go through with the divorce after all
I guess next time I'm gonna answer when nature calls.

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