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Smelt Night - Lyrics

Let me tell you something...
I can eat almost any kind of food
From slimy raw oysters to cabbage that's stewed
I can eat spinach or liver and onions
Or pistachio pudding sprinkled with Funyons

But you prefer to make my least favorite dish
Which also happens to contain my least favorite fish
I'll beat you 'til your body's just one big welt
Unless you get it through your head that I hate smelt

Smelt night
Smelt night
Smelt night
No!!!

I have to admit, you're some gourmet
To be able to cook it in every single way
Smelt burgers, smelt cake, smelt pie too
Smelt ice cream, smelt roast, even smelt stew

It's been so long since I've had a decent meal
Now I'm so short and bony that I look like Dena Beal
My pants won't stay on even when I wear a belt
Why won't you get it through your head that I hate smelt?

Smelt night
Smelt night
Smelt night
No!!!

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