Official Unofficial IRC: irc.synirc.net #dlb
The Dicklick Brigade is an elusive collective of experimental musicians. Their debut, All Lights Fucked On The Hairy Amp Drooling, is believed to have received an unprecedented 11.0 BNM from Pitchfork , and a decent to strong 11.4 from The Needle Drop . The band's high-profile collaborators include nordic tween dreamboat Varg Vikernes, gigantic faggot Thomas Yorkshire and the Radio Heads, and actor Jake Gyllenhaal, who reveals a talent for acapella tracks focusing on his famous genitalia.
The Dicklick Brigade rose to prominence in 2009 when their post-avant jazzcore cover of Justin Bieber's "Baby" was featured on a number of radio shows you've probably never heard of. However, when the track received 2000 scrobbles, lead singer Geoff Magnum retired, citing that the fame was too much for him. Following Geoff's departure, bassist Not Tyler, the Creator In A Wig stepped forward as the group's leader, moving the band in a more progressive dreamfunk direction.
In December 2010 Geoff Magnum found himself in deep financial problems because of his communist daughter. He and Varg Vikernes began fundraising as street musicians under the name The Bursumz. In late December 2010 Geoff Magnum launched the record label Loving J. Christ Records. He and his bandmates celebrated the event with a big firework, which quickly spread around the world and lasted 24 hours.
In 2011 an album titled All Lights Fucked on the Hairy Amp Drooling was leaked onto 4chan's /mu/ board. It is currently uploading to Mediafire at 15%. While hype was still big, rejected songs from the 1st album got thrown into an EP along with some experimental tracks. It was named The Syringe Vagina Disease EP. It was mostly forgotten in the hype of the band's first release.
The Band's sophomore release, To Crown A King, was released the very next day, gaining the band a reputation for quantity and prolific release schedules as well as quality. The first single 'Jeff Mangum's Ballsack', a diss track towards former member Geoff Magnum, went multi-platinum in twelve countries. It was far more accessible than their debut, earning the bands accusations of selling out. However it brought them national fame and a place on the VMAs, when host Kanye West told them "Yo Dicklicks, I'ma really happy for you, I'm gonna let you finish, but Onager was one of the best /mu/ artists of all time. ALL TIME. Oh, thanks for the place on the /mu/ essentials, by the way." To which the band responded in a press release "He isn't even true /mu/core. He can fuck and breed my tight muscle ass."
They recently released their third album, "Dat Hairdryer Track". It has already received prospective AOTY from Rolling Stone and Wire magazines. It also brought the band four stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and exhibitions as well as live-streamed performances at The Museum of Modern Art and the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum.
The Dicklick Brigade surprised their fanbase and critics with their fourth album, "The Holocaust Was A Lie". Despite it's controversial title it was highly praised among critics and was often described as 'neo-Mozartesque' and 'one of the most influential achievements in modern music'. The band commented these 'plebeian labels' as '2deep4u'. The album has already become a staple of the "Swag" lifestyle and is reported to be "heard bumpin' errywhere in L. A. nawmean?"
Currently rumours about a rock opera are spreading via the internet. The rock opera is said to be about a walrus named Bob. The band quickly commented these rumours with 'Shut up about a new album. We're on hiatus for now' and 'we don't want to get buttangered by eachother and start >implying and such'.
Only one day after the band went on hiatus they began recording their fifth album, titled 'I Love You Anna Karina <3'. The news about a new album caused the internet to crash within minutes, which in return caused riots in Greece, Libya, Algeria, Morocco and Saudi Arabia. The fanboys' reception of the album was mixed. Some liked the new direction of 'neo-psychedelic-dada dreamfunk' and 'post-avant-garde lo-fi indie folk'. Most fans however blamed The Dicklick Brigade for selling out and claimed the hiatus was not long enough. It is generally accepted that the first 4 tracks and the 6th track are all of decent quality, while the rest suck cock. Geoff Magnum admitted shortly after the release that 'Even gods can fail.' Their LP was so bad, they even had to release an EP with the five songs that didn't completely suck. This pleased the masses like a luxurious opium den. Afterwards the band went on hiatus. But this for real.
During the band's hiatus, Geoff Magnum got his erect genitalia stuck in a vacuum. He called his only contact, Thomas Yorkshire, for help. While Geoff's penis had to be amputated later, Thomas and Geoff accepted their differences during a heated argument on the hair dryer and Geoff was welcomed back into the band. This marked the end of Dicklick's hiatus, who then went into the studio to record a new album entitled "Lee Carvalho's Putting Challenge". Yorkshire maintains the album name came to him when he woke up sucking on a lemon. The news of a new album caused Harry Truman's hand to slip and accidentally bomb Japan. It was released to overwhelming rave reviews, while buttmad fanboys who didn't like Geoff's contribution continue to say The Holocaust Was a Lie is their best work. Geoff later died that day of suicide. He left a note saying he wanted to "hang with Ian Curtis". When police flipped the note over, they found an ounce of weed taped to the back. Magnum was arrested on accounts of marijuana possession as well as being an ultra-fag lol.
After a quiet disappearance from the music scene and Geoff's lifetime prison sentence, TDLB was thought to be dead. However, the group recently pulled each other back together, releasing their biggest #1 hit single OF ALL TIME, Ronaldo. Shortly after this, the team conceived and recorded a new album in roughly two hours, releasing it the next day. Titled "I'm Based (Thank You Gay God)", The Dicklick Brigade had only one objective in mind: to FREE GEOFF MANGUM. The band removed all excess production and outside influences, creating a work more similar to their older works, with new krautrock and ambient styles incorporated. Although Ronaldo proved immensely successful, the hype quickly died out, leading to poor sales. I'm Based is widely regarded as the band's King of Limbs. Virtually no fanfare was produced by the release, leaving only the most hardcore fans to begin a new 2nd wave of TDLB releases, which will most assuredly be equal failures. Shortly after release of this album, a Director's Cut was announced, in an attempt to grab more attention.
On February 11th 2012, TDLB's newest album "Bass from Outer Space" was released. Unlike previous, the newest album was a collaboration with legendary writer H.P. Lovecraft, who helped with the opening and 11th tracks only. H.P. reportedly stated that "Shit's better than Reroll"
Using original-member Varg Vikernes' wide connections, they acquired a vial of Misami Akita, AKA Merzbow's bodily fluids. These fluids, when mixed with the tears of Animal Collective fans, produces a powerful brew that allows the Brigade to continue their extremely frequent release schedule, with an unfortunate side effect of drastically increased amounts of harsh noise in their music. According to an anonymous fan, "shit's jokes."
All Light Fucked On The Hairy Amp Drooling
Syringe Vagina Disease EP
To Crown a King
Dat Hairdryer Track
The Holocaust Was A Lie
I Love You Anna Karina <3 (Peruvian EP)
Lee Carvalho's Putting Challenge
I'm Based (Thank You Gay God)
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