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tinder samurai - Lyrics

Yeah, like to think I'm well-equipped as any other average guy
But I just can't discover love and I don't even set my standards high
On top of that, I'm camera shy,
maybe I should opt-out of the dating pool
And be an undercover tinder samurai

Cause I would rather type online than whisper in a dingy bar
And swiping left and right could be my new bushido ninja star
I'm well-versed in virtual lovemaking ninjutsu
On every profile pic I post, I'm posing with my shitzu
Or flexing with my shirt off cause I heard that gets you hits too

Especially OkCupid, I'm like Eros or the cherubs be
I pierce hearts of women with my cursor and my arrow keys
And disregard my Roman roots and choose a font that's serif-free

Trust me

I'm a tinder bio brainiac
The way I kindle fire with matches, I'm a pyromaniac
On christian mingle, I'm a casanova
If ya'll don't think so, y'all can ask Jehovah
Check your inbox, he might send an answer over

I wish I had the muscles of a granite sculpture
I would log on ashleymadison and bang adulterers
I'm so lonely, I've considered farmers-only
Just for someone's arms to hold me
Also, I'm really big on agriculture

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