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Deerslayer - Lyrics

Well late one night while driving home
I stopped to use a road side phone
To call my wife and tell her I was headed back
When somewhere out of that mist and fog
Came a big deer running from a pack of dogs
And that deer ran right into the side of my Cadillac

Well it cracked like thunder when he banged his head
And the deer fell over and I thought he's dead
And it spooked the dogs and they ran off back into the woods
So I kicked that deer up by his feet
And laid him out real neat on my back seat
I'm thinkin' some venison stew might taste real good...

(Deerslayer!)

Yeah that head would look real good up on my wall
What with those big antlers and all... hehe

Well I started to put my car in DRIVE
When son of a gun! He came alive
Kickin' and snortin' in the back of my Cadillac
Breakin' windows and smashin' doors
And I'm not gonna say what he did on the floor
Then he jumped the seat and stomped on down my back

Well I was just tryin' to stay alive
So I jumped out and left the deer inside
Ran to the phone so I could call 911
And then I heard a noise and I froze in my tracks
Sounded like those dogs might be comin' back
And I looked up and sure 'nough, there they come

(Deerslayer!)

Now leading that pack was a big ol' hound
With his ears a-flopping and his nose to the ground
And I knew he wouldn't like me stealing his deer
Now that deer had his antlers up through the sunroof
And I'm climbing up the telephone booth
When that dog jumped up and bit me on the rear

Help! Give me the po-lice, thank God for 911
Somebody get on out here quick and be sure to bring your gun
I got a hound dog snippin' at my heels
His family's a-wreckin' my coupe de ville
Help! Give me the po-lice, thank God for 911

(911)

Well those hound dogs held us both at bay
Until the po-lice came and chased them away
And then they said "Buddy,
you can drop that phone now and come on down.
We can't think of any rhyme or reason
For you havin' that deer 'cause it's out of season
I think we better all go see the judge back in town

(Deerslayer!)

"Well, well, uh, you see, your honor I... I'd just like to mention
That there deer was in bad need of medical attention
And, uh, uh, would you believe that I... I was takin' him to the vet!"
He said "Thirty days, and you do it again
And I'll lock you up till Lord knows when
To teach you a lesson you never will forget! Hehe."

Now my Cadillac's a total wreck
I got hoof prints all over my back
And dog bites on my toes and up my shins
Yeah my wife's run off and my job is gone
And I'm here in the jail house all alone
And I know one thing I will never say again:

Help! Give me the po-lice, thank God for 911
Somebody get on out here quick and be sure to bring your gun
I got a hound dog snippin' at my heels
His family's a-wreckin' my coupe de ville
Help! Give me the po-lice, thank God for 911

(911)

I tell you one thing, from now on roadkill is off my menu!
At least from now on I'll make sure
it's dead and not just playin' possum.

(Deerslayer!)

Venison stew. Huh. I'll take chicken noodle soup any day!

(Deerslayer!)

Barbecue's good too. And sausage? Hey, Jimmy Dean is my hero!

Writer(s): RAY STEVENS, GLENN FORTNER

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