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A while ago I was feeling down
so I went to a mega-church up town
I walked in through the mega-door
and was amazed by all the people I saw
Man, it looked like a rock concert!
I know it couldn't because...
we all know rock concerts are of the devil
Well I walked in to the massive door
And I coul've sworn I was in Barnes and Nobles
There where books, tapes, cd's
Good Lord, I must've took a wrong turn to the record store
I said: "Excuse me madam do you have the latest cd by Neal Morse?"
She said: "Who?"
Well I fought my way up the mega-stairs
And got me a seat way up in the air
I thought this is good up here by the ceiling
I don't have to do nothing, nobody's gonna see me
Not like my last church where everyone knew me...
I hated that!
Well I sat down, feeling at ease, and up came two giant color tv's
The lights went down and my heart was
thumping, I almost shouted 'Hallelujah' or something
I think I was in the Spirit...
Well the music started, it was mega-loud
and all the young folk started jumping up and down
I thought man I've got the Spirit too,
'till my head hit the ceiling and my glasses flew
I thought man I'm gonna need a healing after this
I hope they have one of those special healing services
I saw the guitarplayer up on the stage
and shouted: "Hey man isn't that Jimmy Page?"
My mum said this stuff was sinful you see,
but I guess even Zeppelin's cool when you're free
When the drum started slamming I didn't expected
I thought John Buddle had been resurrected
I said: "wooheee this is the church for me"
as the people sang: "Holy, holy, holy"
I was feeling it too
I know God's holy but what about us?
Well the music died down after a while
and out came man rich with a smile
At first I thought he might be a crook
But then I found out he has a best selling book
I recognized him from Larry King
He said to be safe from God's frying pan
You better get out and vote republican
Well he kept talking, and I was all struck
And that mega-message started pumping me up
So God wants me to be happy and free
I guess al those commandments were written for me
In my last church I felt something
they called conviction... I hated that
When I knew he wasn't talking to someone else
I started feeling real good about myself
When that feel-good message started soaking in
I realized, God's okay with my sin
He covered it all on the cross you see
And nothing's really required of me
Man, I love that! Wooo!
When I realized I didn't need to stop sinning
It felt in my heart like a whole new beginning
I jumped on my feet and shouted: "Hallelujah"
They said: "Where'd you get that,
we didn't give that to you. You didn't get that here brother"
Well, the time was short and his voice was soaring
Not like my old pastor who was so long and boring
Then he asked us to let Jesus in and said:
"Congratulations, you've been born again"
See my old church taught the crucified life
But this crucifiction sure feels nice
I wondered if the apostles felt that way
When Jesus said: "Carry your cross every day"
Ohh, you sound like a legalist
Well, my life was changed in an hour or so
But I slipped out the back so no one would know
Now that my ticket to heaven was sure
I skipped down the side-walk, feeling secure
And there is no reason not to live just for fun
'Cause I got salvation, I believe, so I'm done
Now I got redeemed from the grave
All I gotta do is get my neighbour saved
...Poor guy
But that still small voice inside my head
Keeps on telling me: "It's not like he said"
And the preachers voice from when I was a kid
Keeps saying: "I gotta live like Jesus did"
You see? That church ruined me, I can't even live a normal life
Well a few hours later, when I got home
I tried calling Jesus on that main-line phone
But I didn't hear a voice, tender and kind
The only voice I heard... was mine
I guess He was at the mega-churches sick-service that day
And this is what my point is friends,
we need to serve God and cater the men
If we sell out to people and not God alone
There's no way we'll make heaven our home
Now some of the people can be alright some of the time
Now all people can be some right all the time
But not all people can be alright all the time
I think Abraham Lincoln said that
Let's tell the people what God wants to hear
I said that!

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