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Nikki wrote the song to show both sides of his life. the "I carry my crucifix under my deathlist" is not meant to show a world his hopes to rejoin, it's to show the world that he lives in, or did at the time. He's saying and has repeatedly said he's always kept a foot in both worlds, because that's hope, and if you lose hope you have nothing. This song has a major resonance with him because it shows… read more

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