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There's a town on the coast
On the path of Father Serra
Wealthy white guys in boats
Call the U.S. Riviera
With a dark, dirty secret
Soon to be unfurled
It's the murder capital of the world
And this town needs a man
Who can stop this reign of terror
Catching bad guys like flies
When he's given room for error.
A man who sees clues
Almost if they were alighting
Gets accused to confess
'Cause his hair is so exciting
And though his attire's informal
His skills are paranormal
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
A cop I am not
I'm just good at observation
But with shortcuts
And cons
And the proper presentation
They believe that I can
Raise a finger to my head
See the past, read a mind
And can mingle with the dead
And sure, my girl's deceived
But that web's already weaved
The key is that I'm in too deep to turn back now
So I tell these lies
Under Santa Barbara skies
The truth
Is a slippery slope to tread
When you're over your head
I do
What I have to for the common good
I'm misunderstood
And I'd come clean
If I only could
But I can't
You mean you won't
It's the same
Not even close
Just don't ask
I didn't ask
It was implied
Define "implied"
You don't know
Yes, I know
And I really don't care
Someone's bound to expose
Funny business we're conducting
Lighten up,
We're all good
Would you please stop interrupting?
All I know, it's just me
Always cleaning up your mess
While you hair gets the credit
Getting people to confess
That's why I moisturize
Under Santa Barbara skies
The truth of the matter
Is it's all good fun
Till an eye comes out
I do what I have to
For my own safety and legality
'Cause technically
It's a felony
It's just a fib
It's a crime
They won't care
Yes, they'll mind
And we'll probably do time
Over there is my dad
Here to offer his assistance
With occasional resistance
So we face it alone
All this dark and dirty scheming
Hope it's not like the time
That my partner went off screaming
When I fought
No, you hid
No, I didn't
Yes, you did
I'm just trying not to be the one who dies
Under Santa Barbara
Santa Barbara
Santa Babs
She's our Babs
Good old Babs
Santa Barbara skies

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