"Feivel Hershkowitz! How are you Feivel"
"Burach Hashem, Vus Machte"
"I'm fine, what can i do for you?"
"I'll tell you truth,
I call because I get a big Mazel
Tov. My daughter Chani became a kallah."
"Oh Mazel tov, that's wonderful news"
"Yeah yeah yeah, thank you thank you"
"What can I do to help you"
"Well I'll tell you the truth,
I've never made a Chasunah before,
and I need some of your advice what i should do."
"Oh you came to the right person. Come here boys,
Mr Hershkowitz wants to know how to make a Chasunah."
Well the first thing i must say is you're going on display
And what will people think if the wedding isn't nice
None of the neighbors on your block have to know you're in hock
So no matter what the cost it's worth the price
(It's worth the price It's worth the price)(Oy vey)
Now the Kallahs wedding gown should be the talk of the Town
Designed from top to bottom just for her
And although it will be June and the heat can make you swoon
Make sure you buy your wife a real nice fur
And those guests should not be bored when they see that smorgasbord
With chopped liver piled up to the sky
And the band that you bring in should have 16 violinists
Each one in a white tuxedo and black tie
(Oy what are you talking about, I cannot believe it)
The wine I'm sure you know must be a French Bordeaux
Brought in on a shining silver tray
And the flowers don't forget
Should be Holland's very best
Flown in on the Concord that same
day (on that same day on that same day)
The main course I won't fib must be succulent prime rib
Thick and juicy filling up the plate
Never mind the calories bring on the table Viennese
The next morning they can start to watch their weight
The photographer should know how to shoot a video
Everyone invited gets their very own cassette
And no bentchers, that's old hat, you can do better than that
Why not give a brand new Shas to every guest
"This is not what i had in mind"
"So so what did you have in mind Mr Hershkowitz?"
"I wanted something a little little bit more modest"
"What? I can't hear you"
"I said I wanted something a little bit more modest"
"You want modest? That's ok. No problem"
So on the invitation write
In a way that's real polite
That the women should dress Tznius
If you please
Cuz we're dealing with a crowd that is also very proud
Of how they keep the laws of modesty
"So Hershkowitz what do you say? We got a deal?
Hershkowitz? Hershkowitz! He hung up on me! I can't believe it."