not ok

I'm getting lost in the static
A moment of panic
Awake while it's four in the morning
While I'm still feeling manic
I haven't begun to apologize
I'm not sorry

You always say that I'm hopeless
I'm losing my focus
I wonder if you feel the same as me

I can't remember your voice
It's blending in with the noise
To always keep me awake yeah it's deafening

I feel your heart beat out of time
I'm not okay but I'm doing fine
Somehow you still see through these lies
Yeah I swear it's the last time

It's getting hard to relax without you
My heart's racing while my mind gets carried away
I'm trying not to relapse around you
I can't stop screaming when you're not around me
Maybe I'm not the same without you
Could you just let me know we'll be okay
Seems like I'm always lost without you
I can't stop screaming when you're not around me

I've been a bit of a let down
Been hiding my breakdowns
I'm half the man I wanted to be

A university dropout
Self indulgently knocked out
Haven't changed since I was seventeen

Fall asleep on the couch again
Feeling so undead
A couple hours till I do this again

It's getting harder to face our bed
When you're in my head
I'm not with you
I miss you

I feel your heart beat out of time
I'm not okay but I'm doing fine
Somehow you still see through these lies
Yeah I swear it's the last time

It's getting hard to relax without you
My heart's racing while my mind gets carried away
I'm trying not to relapse around you
I can't stop screaming when you're not around me
Maybe I'm not the same without you
Could you just let me know we'll be okay
Seems like I'm always lost without you
I can't stop screaming when you're not around me

Look her dead in the eyes
But I'm not ok
I'm in the dead of the night
And I'm not ok
I've been here hundreds of times
But I'm not ok
I'm not ok
I'm not ok

It's getting hard to relax without you
My heart's racing while my mind gets carried away
I'm trying not to relapse around you
I can't stop screaming when you're not around me
Maybe I'm not the same without you
Could you just let me know we'll be okay
Seems like I'm always lost without you
I can't stop screaming when you're not around me