ghstillumina

Brooke, 25, Female, United KingdomLast seen: 7 hours ago

32120 plays since 28 Nov 2005

366 Loved Tracks | 1 Post | 7 Playlists | 440 shouts

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  • annadoll2001 wrote:
    4 hours ago
    'Saturn Devouring his Children' as an av. I've had that a few times too. Scared the bejaysus out of me as a kid, that painting did... Sorry your NYE was pants, they always are... weight of expectation and all that. January gets good once term starts and all the bleedin' stoodents come back and bands play again. Mmm. Bandy. I would make up for panty NYE then, duck. Books, ah! Am reading some Jim Dodge thing atm which is so busy from page to page that I feel like I'm on speed. I'm not a big FF type reader, but I'll give Mieville a go even if I didn't like the Van DerMeer dude. It's sort of everything Terry Pratchett parodies in his books. Sort of why I have TP as a guilty pleasure, I suppose. As a anathema to 'sexy fantasy women' in crocheted bikinis painted with silver acrylic paint that my brother used to read. I really should have hung onto 'Talisman', the game for 456-78906 players with 5689 hours on their hands for that sort of thing, shouldn't I?

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  • Tilaton wrote:
    7 hours ago
    Hehe, oh, and it's always a bit suspicious if someone is telling his honest. Why does he do it? Now I'm suspicious of myself! That's it about lying and honesty, when you think about it, we really don't know what either of them mean.

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  • Tilaton wrote:
    7 hours ago
    I had fun in the New Year's eve, thanks to Annadoll for kicking my virtual arse and getting me out of my cave. Went to the pub I always go and met all the good people I know in there and talked a lot and had fun even though I witnessed a couple of rows around me. It seems New Year makes people's feelings run a bit high. Then I almost froze solid in the 1,5 hour queue for taxi in -14C, but survived. So, this has to be the time for changes. Gotta get back to living. Been undead for too long. Hope you'll have a great year coming too. Happy New Year, officially! =o)

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  • Tilaton wrote:
    7 hours ago
    Thanks for that shout. I sometimes get these horrible doubts about myself and how I come out as. (Drinking too much wine doesn't help.) I know that it's the crazyness in me talking and try to ignore it, but it's not always easy. It's really great when someone confirms what I "know" to be true. There was a time I felt that there were two different worlds, a black and white one. They were both there, always present, but I wasn't sure which one was real! In the end, some of the worst things about the black world were true and I pretty much collapsed as a result. Hence two years of downtime including one year of sick leave. Now I have quite clear view of what is true and I've learned to trust my instincts more, which is good as they are 99% of the time in the right. Funny thing really, me being rational often makes me more irrational. If I'd listen my instincts more closely I'd be a lot more rational than when I start really thinking. I seem to know a lot more than I am aware of.

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  • herm2s wrote:
    7 hours ago
    Interesting charts. Maybe should I come back here ? H.

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  • annadoll2001 wrote:
    yesterday afternoon
    Happy New Year, pet! Hope 2010 will bring you all the sexy hippies you can handle. x

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  • annadoll2001 wrote:
    Thursday morning
    Sex, astrology and cutting... ah! That is a festive season worth bothering about... I got socks, arguing about guided missile systems and Madeira wine. Thank fuck that's over. Only NY tonight and I'll be home free. There really is nothing like feeling miserable in some one else's house longing for your own bed to wallow in is there? And to top it all, the internet died. Still, I found the idea shoe for my inflatable Antoinette outfit and bought Asian bridal jewellery for my starry outfit for tonight... very bellydance. Hope that Keith et al didn't totally do your head in and that you didn't get socks and a recyclable jute shpping bag. Actually, I rather liked them both. Very...useable. Or something. Can't get my head round 'City of Saints and Madmen' at all. I noticed it goes all weird after the priest and the mushroom people chapter... So I read one of the ghastly Twilight books and 'The Rotters' Club' instead. Not convinced by either...

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  • Tilaton wrote:
    Wednesday morning
    Hmmm, it seems I've managed to make sense even though I might have come through as some kind of a stalker. Hehe, I saw couple of your shouts on Annadoll's shoutbox, so maybe that counts as watching you. ;oD Damn those "world loving" moments that always come out a bit wrong. Now I have a headache, but it is well deserved. Take care!

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  • Tilaton wrote:
    Wednesday morning
    And here we come to this point about me. I'd be talking to exactly the same way to you if you'd be sitting with me here. It's a bit depressing but true. Even me destroying my profiles in the past is the way to express something that truely is me. But yes, I don't know about the music I've scrobbled. The truth is that 99% of all the music I listen is here in my charts and I like most of it. Yes, I think about my charts when I choose what to listen next, but I don't think I'd listen differently even if I didn't scrobble. At least I haven't done so when I haven't scrobbled. And if I look my charts, I feel as I lied to people. Maybe I lie to myself, listening to all this pretencious crap. Maybe it's what I am. I don't know.

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  • Tilaton wrote:
    Wednesday morning
    Bad things are beautiful, you have the truth there. Pain is pleasure, even pain of the mind can be written beautifully. All these things, all dirty things... Too much people, too much everything. All the feelings that should not be. All of it, beauty. It is strange how clean can become ugly and dirty beautiful. Nothing is simple. I hope you like your New Years eve in New York. You should, even though it might be agressive and take you away. I think you like it when you loose control of yourself. To go with the masses. I never could do that. I'm always in control, even when drunk... Sometimes I think I should take stronger stuff to loose myself even for once... But I have schitzophrenia in my family and it's a huge risk to take anything seriously mind altering. I might not come back. Hell, from day to day I don't know if I'll come back from my anxiety attacks. Some of the worst have almost destroyed me. And part of me hopes that I'd be destroyed. Utterly.

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About Me

“Retvrn thov the commode seat with all haste, the king hath a spate o’ the raging shites.”

“Alack, mine head is stuck therein!”

Wait. Where was I?

Let's try this again.

Displaced American living out some sort of expat-fantasy in London, in which I wander aimlessly in unreasonable clothing and lurk in shadowy coffee shops. I keep waiting for my novel to strike, but neither has my dissertation topic.

Feed me recommendations of obscure techno-industrial-tribal-neoclassical wonders, and I shall remember you in the end times.*

*Metal is also accepted here.

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  • ghstillumina left herm2s a shout. 7 hours ago
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