Ezrain

I came to your world to learn of your culture. Throughout my journeys on this Earth, I must say my favorite thing would be your "Saturday Night Live" and your "Hot Pockets." Human entertainment aside, I have become interested in your concept of "music." On my homeworld whose name you cannot pronounce, we have not this "music." We have something we like to call " ". It consists of us using our " " in time to others " ".

Therefore, " " is akin to music. However, " " is often seen as a simple way of passing the time with friends. Here on Earth, Music seems to have achieved a god-like status. Everyone wears their shirts idolizing their favorite artists, and your young and old alike flock to altars of worship where they may see their favorite gods live. Yes, my studies and report back to my homeworld have concluded that music is a divine ability on Earth, and therefore those who play music must be gods. My planet has only one god, not the plethora of gods that lurk on this planet.

I have also learned on this Earth that not all of this music is created equal. Some is superior to others, and there are frequent clashes between this cult and that regarding whose god creates a superior music experience. This leads to such extremists groups as "metal sucks."

I must say the Metal is my favorite music your gods create. While this would be illegal on my planet, I have cultivated a special fondness for your KMFDM and GWAR gods. Their constant attack on your planet and other gods amuses me.

That's what I have to say of your human music. Maybe with time I'll be able to teach a few of you " ".