Loorrrnnnnaaaaa

I just want every boy I see to walk away with part of me until there’s nothing left to hold, until there’s nothing left to hate. I appreciate your help, but even you can’t save me from myself. late nights won’t do me justice ‘cause when I drink I just get so damn depressed, and it’s not like I ain’t trying to get over you. I’ll give this one more try; I’ll give it all my best, and I’ll ask, “what could you be doing that is so much fun without me by your side?” and I will take a step back, and I’ll let you ahead. and I will take a step away and see if you come back because there’s no more trying to make this so right. there’s no more trying; there’s no more trying tonight. this is the chance I never got to make a move, but we just talk about the people we’ve met in the last five years and will we remember them in ten more? I let you bum a smoke; you quit this winter past. I’ve tried twice before, but like this, it just will not last. there are certain people you just keep coming back to. sometimes I think this cycle never ends; we slide from top to bottom, and we turn and climb again. those inside jokes and things we know are the furthest thing from my mind, but you let one slip and I forget and smile. but I shouldn’t because I hate you, and I hope this irritates you as much as it does to me for even thinking that I don’t want you. I’m not looking at you like I used to when you’d kiss me and when you’d want me. what did I do? what did I say? I am waiting for something to go wrong. I am waiting for familiar resolve. I am waiting for another repeat. I am waiting for that sense of relief. I am waiting for you to flee the scene. life’s no storybook; love’s an excuse to get hurt and to hurt. sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.