GjeDeeR

(kklick on the dots after kkuotes)

I love my puppy. I love that he is so young and full of live. And that he will still die first .

I have found a way to watch video in your head. High definition, with instant replay. It is called having regrets.

I've been programming my computer to love you when I'm gone. But someone stole it from my car! Unless... Oh god. Unless it escaped!

With one simple pill we cured unhappiness and art.

You would love me if it were not for this communication barrier between us. I refer, of course, to your shirt.

Sometimes I come up with the best plans after sex. We will all die so gloriously that having ever lived will seem like folly.

The architect? The loving father? No, of course not. It doesn't matter what I do with my life. I will always be the man with a boob for a dick.

Thinking about the infinity of space makes me insane. I never want my kids to feel this small... So yeah, I let them eat whatever .

There are plenty of fish in the sea... if I run out of women.

I thought a psychic girlfriend would see the real me. And she did. I just didn't think she'd call the police.

They are always watching, always listening, recording everything. So i sing to the phone, sometimes. Maybe it cheers them up.

I love you so much that I want to shout from the rooftops. But then you might hear me. And start closing your courtains at night.

I spend my lunch hours surrounded by people, who appologize for every touch, so today I hugged a stranger and a thousand lonely people rioted .

I stole a time machine so I could buy liquor for my friends back when they were underage and still into experimenting.

"We can't afford vacation", I tell her, and she nods, "gas, mortage, electricity, we have obligations", I say, one-way tickets hidden behind my back.

I built a meditation womb down in my basement and installed a phone so I can call my mom and creep her out, "Guess where I am?".

Baby Doom knew that they all had to die. But after they died, who would change him? Who would feed him? There had to be an answer.

I was so sure my search would end when I found god, but then I couldn't find my car keys, and my cat ran away.

There will always be people taunting me laughing because I tower above them, a giant. Pointing with fingers that have never touched a cloud.

I'd like to read a story in a newspaper that ends with "but she was just having a bad dream, really she's okay".

After the accident, it was just the family dog and me. I started letting him sit at the table, dressing him in my daughter's clothes.