Lulu Sucks

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Skapad den: 26 okt 2011
that album by Metallica (sob) and Lou Reed.

my review does not define the groups purpose, if you don't like this album, this is the one to join.

Here is my review;

This album... is terrible. lol in simple words that's what i could tell you face to face, elaboration simply not needed, well ill make an exception. I HAD to make this group, if it wasn't me it would be someone else, go figure. It is not the worst album ever because imo there is much worse than metallica in particular.. I want to rule out Lou reed as a bad artist although he is the main driving force/most prominent here.. the evidence is clear that ol' lou was ABLE to sing and put some tune together when he was younger, not that i care for him regardless, but that is not the current topic here.

its all very sad because i have never made a group about hating an album or artist, its just not how i roll. This was one i tried religously to sit through.. and yes, before you hate me, i am guilty of doing an anti group if there isnt one too many already.., but i just switched off, went asleep, died, or something of the latter. i just could not reach the end of the album, its just a mix of torture and mindless boredom and something else that i find to be mysteriously disturbing, maybe the lyrics? you tell me.. read further.... IF YOU DARE! mwahahahah ;{

initially I had high hopes because Metallica is a great band and ive had BEEF with them for years and years, even when i had my apple ipod in 2005, they were on there up with my other fav band, slipknot.. but one has to ask what the hell were they smoking? someone needs to say it.. and my first thoughts when hearing about it were "who the hell is Lou Reed? then other questions popped in mind, like "is this REALLY music??!?" because i was seriously trying to figure out what was going on.

i want to be brief because i don't want to bore you silly, but these are some of the WORST lyrics, ever made. i am convinced. if not totally embarrassed at the same time, this is the porn of music, but the bad kind ..when a guy ruins it. I know that is a bad example but eugh.. some of it gave me bad images in my head.. the opening lyric on the very first track "i would cut my legs and tits off" ......WTF!?

then as i revise these lyrics, Lou talks about.. i dont know!!! they dont make any goddam sense and then came a huge headache trying to understand them, well see for yourself and thats only 1 SONG!! however i thought brandenburg gate had a good hard rock feel to it and a memorable lyric of "i am the table!" from James Hetfield which i thought was very cool if not laughable at the same time. but its all gravy from there..

and its not just the lyrics, Lou, as mentioned before, is by far the worst offender as he just rambles, hes not singing, or screaming OR using any vocal style whatsoever, on most of these tracks.. hes just moaning about what seems to be, his Day Job at Walmart.. but whatever for? surely he must have had success in The Velvet underground and on his own, this WAS a man of talent after all like him or not, i mean you don't just "get" fans for no good reason.. but anyway.. can it get worse? yes, read further !

The PAINFUL length of the album weighs in at a hefty 1.3 hours!!! bro i could watch a decent movie in that time! where was the need to extend the songs so much? all these unanswered questions...

Then Metallica add insult to my (already) injured ears by playing really slow and dumb riffs and it almost feels like its deliberate or going back to practicing like children, they have done and can do, so much better!!!!!!.... its like everyone from metallica got stoned.... and thought it would be "cool to jam out" ... and lou reed somehow stumbles in the room stone drunk out of his mind and says "hey yall can i join in? i got some blood in my arms and i wanna pump it around y'know? overall inappropriate time and place, most of it sounds like an accidental recording when Lou finally put his empty Jack Daniels bottle down, he dropped the bottle on the record button by mistake.

The Thing That Should Not Be.

I thought "open mindedness" was a good thing... but holy Jesus!, if you want assisted suicide without the presence of your local euthanasia doctor or family member, this album is your ticket out of here. hey it will be a bit cheaper as well lol but there is one thing i will say, don't think lou reed sucks and write him off when you haven't visited his earlier music, there could be something of fruition for you.. Just a suggestion..

its mere cocidence that Lou Reeds age has affected the sound so much, if metallica got him at his peek, then this could have been more interesting and a worthwhile masterpiece with proper substance to make that true, and not with an old guy with dementia.. but as it stands, its a shame and unbelievable disappointment for two (once) great musicians. (I see this as the only bad thing metallica has done in their career)

My rating

0.5/5 star - sound OFF

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  • Sarguer

    It's 1,45 hours in length, not 1,3.

    4 dec 2012 Svara
  • Mazzerin

    great review

    24 nov 2012 Svara
  • Rus_Used

    METALLICA SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    27 okt 2012 Svara
  • robsonyoroku

    16 okt 2012 Svara
  • robsonyoroku

    Lou Reed sucks in general, he was never any good or even talented. [4]

    16 okt 2012 Svara
  • DamianTanuki

    If Lou Reed ain't singing about heroin abuse or sexual deviancy then it's not going to be worth listening to. At least his early stuff was quirky enough that the "bad" kinda made it more amusing.

    4 okt 2012 Svara
  • KeIemvor

    "Lol, if not The Velvet Underground there will be no Metallica." I hope that was a joke. Old Metallica was surely not in any way influenced by this crappy hipster band.

    12 sep 2012 Svara
  • carpetxcrawler

    Lol, if not The Velvet Underground there will be no Metallica.

    27 aug 2012 Svara
  • carpetxcrawler

    Lulu is almost the best and the most ambitious album recorded by Metallica.

    19 aug 2012 Svara
  • depeshkina

    Lou Reed sucks in general, he was never any good or even talented. [2]

    31 jul 2012 Svara
  • LawLieTicp


    27 jul 2012 Svara
  • TheLe0

    Not only Lulu sucks, Metallica sucks too, they are one of the worst bands in the world.

    15 jun 2012 Svara
  • TerykBlut

    Best Metallica album. The one who shows the true nature of the band. A MASTERPIECE! :D

    9 jun 2012 Svara
  • KeIemvor

    Lou Reed sucks in general, he was never any good or even talented.

    6 jun 2012 Svara
  • aec_alan

    metalloca sucks!

    3 jun 2012 Svara
  • alfonzoloya

    Some songs are good.

    31 maj 2012 Svara
  • Zombierenji

    2/2 Her body to. It really is a pretty poetic statement on the power she holds and the power she is selling her body to has. They have the power and money to do anything and she has the body that she allows the power to be over. Not a good song, but the lyrics aren't terrible.

    13 maj 2012 Svara
  • Zombierenji

    Lulu wasn't that bad. Stop whining. Lou Reed's lyrics were really good the problem was being teamed with Metallica's harsh sound completely destroyed them. The whole album is supposed to show different displays of power. Lou Reed used a prostitute to convey these themes ,but Lou Reed has gone senile over the years and thought making Lulu with a thrash metal band would be a good idea and it definitely wasn't. It would have been better if he made the album similar to a Velvet Underground album. As a whole the album was sloppy. Individual tracks like Cheat on Me(?) was actually some what good. Also to comment on the lyrics you selected as being bad they aren't. You are looking at the lyrics from an one dimensional viewpoint which would reveal nothing. That song is about a girl that turns into a prostitute that is passing through a gate thinking about things in a stream of consciousness way. She is looking at the gate in all its affluent splendor thinking of the men she is going to sell

    13 maj 2012 Svara
  • Sith_Lord3330

    Lulu sucks makes St. Anger sound like Kill 'Em All.

    26 mar 2012 Svara
  • KeIemvor

    Lulu is the musical incarnation and equivalent of all shit in the world.

    16 mar 2012 Svara
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