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sexy prison


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“Sexy Prison are a physicist and an engineer who download mp3’s from good bands and steal their riffs because they suck at art. They are from Sacramento. The vocals sound like they were recorded in Carlsbad Caverns or on that new BonerPlex4040 and are super annoying because you can’t understand the words and there isn’t enough screaming. And there are like 3 drum machines going off at the same time so it sounds like the speakers are shooting white tar at your face. The bass player lifts weights on tour so he plays the g string a lot so people don’t think he’s a total jock but he fucks it up 99% of the time so it sounds terrible. Don’t even get me started on the singer or his dick or how it always “accidentally” pops out and lands in a 12-year old girl’s bowl of Rice Chex. I’ve seen them 4 times, and EVERY TIME when they are through they lecture the audience about why John Titor is a pussy and that they are bringing back Ovaltine and bladdy blah blah these guys are a dumb punk band and that’s it. Gimmicks, “jokes”, and electronics be damned, their favorite band is Screeching Weasels and sometimes Goody Mob and “Careless Whisper” by Wham. They’ve put out some stuff, like the clear one-sided “Bury my Heart at Vladivostok” 7” on Omnibus and the much “acclaimed” thing known as the “Babyhead” comp LP on S-S records, but most of the time they play xbox and try to be funny by only playing for 55 seconds to accidentally purposely be a dick to the guy who drove an hour to see them. Their new 11 song CD/LP is a split release between Omnibus and NASCAR and is called “Italians Who Just Saw Rocky” and probably sucks.”

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  • samuelregan

    This is one sexy prison!

    24 Feb 2010 Reply
  • throbbingorgan

    V HAAaaas agreed

    19 Feb 2010 Reply
  • moeramone

    cgi cheeseburger reminds me of some mike watt experimentalist group thats a little worse and more electronica with some NES video game theme influences. i mean not in a bad way, just in no way near better then minutemen. you know if that even makes sense....

    16 Oct 2009 Reply

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