Although I am tempted to give him a thorough pacifist imaginary beating, I've confined myself to putting him through what I consider to be the seven trials of music - a playlist composed by the most painful music around. If I ever get hold of the intruder, this is what he will have to endure:
1. Overrated noise that is supposed to be Great Art and consequently makes you feel like an idiot
Liars - Leather Prowler: 4:28 minutes of someone strumming a balalaika out of tune in a phonebooth while someone is banging on the door with a half broken transistor radio while imitating the ghost from a Stephen King movie.
Thurston Moore - Free Noise Among Friends: Someone tries to start a chainsaw. After 36 seconds, he seems to succeed.