Hazards Of Love

This is a fan interpretation of the Hazards of Love story line. It is in no way connected to any interpretation from a member of The Decemberists.

The Hazards of Love 1 (The Prettiest Whistles Won’t Wrestle the Thistles Undone)

This song sets up the entire story. We learn right away that a young lady – who we will later love as our heroine Margaret – goes horseriding out past the fields, far from home. She crosses into the forest, as she often does, and comes upon a young deer at the edge of the forest, injured and limping, but despite the rapidly approaching dusk (”white and green and gray“), being a woman, the fairer, caring gender, she dismounts and tries to help the fawn. Before she can assist, she feels a sharp shake of the ground, and the fawn shifts shape into a man. She glances upon the man and falls immediately in love with him, and he with her.
They have sex, right there, in the forest, upon the forest floor, flowers and leaf beds (the “thistles“) providing the only padding. Later, back in the grounds of the village, the ladies relax and chit-chat, worry-free and without care, except one: our Margaret, who is otherwise distracted and thinking of her William and their marvelous encounters in the forest.

A Bower Song

Margaret’s sister, or perhaps just another maiden (Edit: or a nun), approaches and says to our heroine, “Don’t cry, Margaret! I know you’re pregnant, when are you going to give birth? And