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Robin “Bird” Rihanna Fenty (born February 20, 1988), better known as simply Rihanna (pronounced Anna Anna Aeyh, Aeyh, Aeyh, I got my ass beat with an umbrella), is a Barbadian R&B and pop recording artist. She is, however, primarily best known for her forehead. Rihanna’s Forehead suffers gigantipithicus. Her gigantic forehead has it’s own sole properties, as explained in its own article (yes, Rihanna’s forehead is so large it has its own article!). She also has had more than 70 number one songs and is also known solely for getting the shit beaten out of her by her super hyperactive dancing boyfriend.
Facially resembling a giant, startled Easter Egg, Rihanna is singlehandedly responsible for irritating the fuck out of every person in the entire world with her single “Umbrella”. It’s so irritating that whenever or wherever anybody hears the intro, an over bearing rage takes over to destroy the object of which the song is playing on. The song temporarily became a pop culture sensation among chavs and teen mothers everywhere.
Rihanna is also responsible for having the most copied sex positions from 1988-present.

Rihanna’s music, best described as a underground hardcore satan polka, is loved by no people not even by her own mother. The same people, in fact, that like tangerine lip gloss, jumpsuits, and Tom Sizemore.Her single “S.O.S” was a rip-off of “Tainted Love”, but not only that, it gave sea captains a fun (not to mention gay) way to send an S.O.S signal when encountering danger at sea. But it was undoubtedly the single “Umbrella” that took the world by storm. LOL. Umbrella, storm. Get it? The song was written by Satan, who personally recorded a backmasked message into it, which may be responsible for the single’s success.
Rihanna has also been know to have a HUGE lack of orginality and talent, yet she makes up for this by copying other artists such as Beyonce, Leona Lewis, Lady Gaga and about everyone else. She claims that all the stuff she copied she made herself. However, many claimed she learnt her lesson after she copied Chris Brown…
Her other singles include “Shut Up, Put The Bottle Down, And Drive” (which was later renamed “Shut Up And Give Me The Keys”), “Please Dont Stop The Mumbling” “Drink All Night” “Take a Hint (You Suck)” and the smash hit SOS (Suck Our Sperm)

Edited by [deleted user] on 5 Feb 2012, 13:35

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Formed in
  • 2005
Founded in
  • Saint Michael, Barbados

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