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MC Pitman is the comic creation of one Styly Cee, a hip hop producer and performer from the city of Nottingham in England's East Midlands.

A miner from the town of Coalville in Leicestershire, he raps morosely in a distinct regional accent about many aspects of modern life, from his distaste for celebrity worship and traffic congestion, to his great affection for tea and biscuits. His most extreme polemic however is…

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  • I dont think ya get me.
  • When I say "Battered" you say...
  • I can't afford plasters; so I just bleed.
  • witness the pitness!
  • stick the kettle on yer tosser...
  • sorry mate the trains not coming, there's poo on the track, and it might start snowing...
  • AW REET...
  • I'm not your bro bro bro
  • black snot

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