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Morpion

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Born and raised in the north of England, Morpion makes the most of the inevitable, semi-permanent bad weather by locking himself in a small, dark room with a laptop and a couple of shoddily formed musical ideas, eventually emerging with some kind of coherent tune, or failing that, a big bunch of noise that nobody wants to know about. And more power to them, sensible folks that they are.

Under a different guise, Morpion once made experimental noise by smashing charity-shop-bought folk albums to pieces, gluing them back together again and sampling them. He was so commercially unsuccessful he doesn’t even warrant a Wikipedia article, which is a crying shame as there’s a lot of (arguably) great random Morpion facts the public might like to be made aware of like, for example, the fact that he was the crunch on the Walker’s crisps TV adverts for several years (and possibly still is if the studio hasn’t updated their crisp-munching sound FX library since 2001). Despite the lack of said Wiki page, he can’t be bothered to write his own Wikipedia article as he’d probably be laughed off the face of the internets for trying to pass himself off as some kind of “experimental artist”. “Hah, what piffle”, they’d all scream; but at least he’s finally managing to make stuff which (kind of) passes for actual music these days.

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