We are Max Ward. We have all had thorough plastic surgery so that we may look more like Max Ward. We know every lyric to every band Max Ward has been in and if we ever forget them we can look down at our bodies and read the extensive tattooed lyrics. We were Haitian but have had our pigmentation altered so that we may look like a deity incarnate Max Ward. We listen strictly to powerviolence. The only other music we listen to that is non-powerviolence comes to us from 625 Not So fast. We enjoy spending our days looking for rare records on E-bay that have somehow been graced by the blessed touch of Max Ward. We own doubles of almost every record that Max Ward has put out or been involved with. If you disagree that Max Ward is not a god you will be punished slowly and excruciatingly by being forced to listen to contemporary soft rock.
So hopefully that creeped you out as much as it did me when I was writing it. Honestly though, we're a "powerviolence" band that wants to pay tribute to the bands that came before us and carve our own way. We give praise to our forefathers. And if we're gonna steal a name, might as well have it be the most obvious for the job. Our credo is to quite simply have fun and to use every stereotype in the book. Over the top powerviolence! Fuck, yeah, boy!
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