As the bastard child of a former German Nazi general and a Czech street whore, little Jonny grew up in backyards full of waste, rancid Eastern Bloc orphanages and in the crap of bar toilets. It was around that time that he aquired his name – one of those darling prostitutes who nursed him from time to time claimed that he “looked like a Jonny”. He never recieved a surname.
At the age of 8, already an alcoholic, little Jonny strived to have every drug the chemical industry produced swimming through his veins . By 13 he eventually banked and tried his luck as a busker. He slept in caravans, squat houses, toilets and played in Romania, the Ukraine, Azerbajian and in the eastern forests of Bavaria. After years of begging and busking he finally made it onto a ship, uncertain of it’s destination - undiscovered he finally reached America’s playground for the low-lifes, and the downs and outs, Las Vegas to play the clown in deteriorated casinos for an even more deteriorated audience.
For years he tried to form a band, but nobody wanted to play in his liquor stained jam band because he was such a dive. Jonny finally made it to the studio to record the until now unreleased album “Six Strings, Three Chords, One Asshole” – with the help from some musicians of a German Black Metal band to whom he promised the heavens and the earth, but in the end, Jonny ripped them off. He named his non-existent band LET’S STEAL A TRUCK AND GET THE HELL OUT OF TEXAS, BABY, because he thinks this is cool - sketchy, unorganized crippled punk with singer/songwriter influences and seasoned with fucked up 80s metal.
Edited by uebernoise on 15 Aug 2008, 15:47
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