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"No Sex (in the Champagne Room)" is a comedic spoken word track released by Chris Rock on his 1999 album, Bigger & Blacker. Intended as a parody of Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)", Rock gives one-line tidbits of advice purportedly aimed at a more urban audience (he claims to be addressing "the GED class of 1999").

For example, Rock says:

If a woman tells you she's 20/and looks 16/she's 12 If she tells you… read more

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  • Avatar for ketsueki_kurai
    I love [track artist=Baz Luhrmann]Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)[/track], but this is great!
  • Avatar for koby85
  • Avatar for ashines00 ...champagne room??? Ahhhh lmao!
  • Avatar for Ezekiel22
    Greatest comedic song ever!
  • Avatar for bigage13
    Why spemd the rest of ur life in prison cuz someone smudged your PUMA. LMAO
  • Avatar for Bpetroglyph
    Cool, hombre. Ain't nuthin wrong with that.
  • Avatar for greenvillepa
    funny dude !
  • Avatar for Rucipher
    Parody on bahz?
  • Avatar for novemberrising
    Haha, this brings back some memories.
  • Avatar for poppa7
    Chris Rock is the bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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