Journal

Último álbum lançado pela banda australiana AC/DC, Black Ice é marcado por não propiciar nenhuma inovação radical no estilo musical do lendário grupo de rock 'n' roll liderado pelos irmãos Angus (guitarra solo) e Malcom (guitarra rítmica) Young, que conta também com Brian Johnson no vocal, Cliff Williams no baixo e o membro que entrou mais recentemente (1994) Phill Rudd na bateria. O estilo único, mantido no último trabalho, deixou os fãs (como eu) muitos satisfeitos com o resultado obtido pela banda, principalmente nas músicas Rock 'n' Roll Train, Black Ice e War Machine.
Com a apresentação do quinteto no estádio do Morumbi em São Paulo estando cada vez mais próxima (ocorrerá no dia 27/11), comentar o último lançamento é uma obrigação. Assim como conferir as músicas do mesmo.
Capa do álbum:

Faixas:
1. Rock 'n' Roll Train
2. Skies on Fire
3. Big Jack
4. Anything Goes
5. War Machine
6. Smash 'n' Grab
7. Spoilin' for a Fight
8. Wheels
9. Decibel
10. Stormy May Day
11. She Likes Rock 'n' Roll
12. Money Made
13. Rock 'n' Roll Dreams
14. Rocking All the Way
15. Black Ice
War Machine (ao vivo Vienna, Austria)

Curiosidade:
Brian Johnson ao ser perguntado por um repórter acerca da falta de novidades nas músicas do Black Ice:
"Nós nunca mudamos, continuamos sendo a mesma banda de sempre!"
ENJOY!

November is almost over so I better do this or I'll never do it. Here in Australia on Triple J radio is Ausmusic month and ABCTV show Rage has joined in this year too. In Jmag The Drones won the top spot in their "Greatest Aussie Song Ever" Top 30 as voted by Aussie muso's. Winning with Shark Fin Blues, which got the most votes and so should they, check it all out here: http://blogs.abc.net.au/triplej/2009/10/greatest-aussie-songs-ever.html



Plus the other night The Drones won two A.I.R. Awards for "Independent Artist Of The Year" and "Best Independent Album" for Havilah and so should they too, check it out here: http://www.airawards.com.au/ (also they should win every A.R.I.A. award at the end of this week but will miss out more than likely because well, it's the crappy arias). Anyway I'm going to re-post Gareth Liddiard from The Drones top five votes for Jmag's greatest Aussie songs, which are:
AC/DC - Jailbreak
Dirty Three - Hope
Kim Salmon - Obvious Is Obvious
Laughing Clowns - Collapse Board
X - Revolution
Cool, eh? Plus now triple J’s "Like A Version Vol. 5" album is coming out at the end of this month with The Drones doing Suicide is Painless cover on it, yipee!



Now I was going to do a top 30 tracks too but it got bigger and bigger until it has turned into 100 tracks. It is my choices so most likely no one will agree with me (You could make your own too). These tracks are just my all-time favorite tracks from Aussie bands that I love and could listen to them forever. Also I have somehow numbered them too, which was so hard but I'll post it now because it's round about right (maybe tracks could go up or down in time) But to me these are the greatest Aussie songs ever. So starting with number 100 and counting down to number 1, here goes:
100. Midnight Oil - Antarctica
99. INXS - Suicide Blonde
98. The Veronicas - 4ever
97. Hilltop Hoods - Clown Prince
96. Cold Chisel - Houndog
95. Cosmic Psychos - Dead Roo
94. The Easybeats - I'll Make You Happy
93. Died Pretty - Everybody Moves
92. Hunters & Collectors - Talking to a Stranger
91. Kylie Minogue - Better the Devil You Know
90. Renee Geyer - I Scare Myself
89. Silverchair - Cemetery
88. You Am I - Tuesday
87. Slim Dusty - A Pub With No Beer
86. Warren Fahey - Ballad Of The Kelly Gang
85. Rolf Harris - Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport
84. The Drones - Words From a Woman To her Man
83. Kasey Chambers - Pony
82. The Vines - Winning Days
81. The John Butler Trio - Zebra
80. George - Special Ones
79. The Atlantics - Bombora
78. Spiderbait - Buy Me A Pony
77. The Saints - The Music Goes Round My Head
76. Warumpi Band - Stompin Ground
75. Divinyls - Boys in Town
74. The Loved Ones - The Loved One
73. The Paradise Motel - Bad Light
72. Sarah Blasko - Flame Trees
71. The Church - Almost With You
70. People With Chairs Up Their Noses - Song of the Sea
69. X - Suck Suck
68. Grinderman - Honey Bee (Let's Fly To Mars)
67. The Meanies - 10% Weird
66. Lubricated Goat - In the Raw
65. Paul Kelly - Dumb Things
64. The Cruel Sea - This Is Not The Way Home
63. Crowded House - Everything Is Good For You
62. Jen Cloher & The Endless Sea - Better off Dancing
61. The Audreys - Lay Me Down
60. The Seekers - Five Hundred Miles
59. Bernard Fanning - Moreton Bay
58. Augie March - The Moth Ball
57. Dropbears - Fun Loving
56. The Birthday Party - Zoo Music Girl
55. The Painkillers - Drunk on a Train
54. Darling Downs - Gather 'Round (Stomp it Down)
53. Dave Graney 'N' the Coral Snakes - Rock 'n' Roll Is Where I Hide
52. Hoodoo Gurus - My Girl
51. Josh Pyke - Monkey With A Drum
50. Clare Bowditch and The Feeding Set - Lips Like Oranges
49. The Sleepy Jackson - Devil Was in My Yard
48. Regurgitator - Black Bugs
47. Sacred Cowboys - Nothing Grows In Texas
46. The Boys Next Door - Shivers
45. The Drones - Oh My
44. Sarah Blasko - No Turning Back
43. God - My Pal
42. David McComb - Still Alive And Well
41. Don Walker - We're All Gunna Die
40. Simon McDonald - Old Man Kangaroo
39. Ken Pellow - The Pyjama Girl Song
38. Tex Perkins - You're Too Beautiful
37. Kylie Minogue - Slow
36. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Sad Waters
35. Powderfinger - My Kind Of Scene
34. Kim Salmon - You Know Me Better Than That
33. Jimmy Little - The Way I Made You Feel
32. The Mess Hall - Keep Walking
31. Dirty Three - Dirty Equation
30. Primitive Calculators - do that dance
29. Hard-Ons - Something About You
28. Venom P. Stinger - Walking About
27. The Saints - Messin' With the Kid
26. Beasts of Bourbon - Drop Out
25. Severed Heads - Dead Eyes Open
24. Taasha Coates & Gareth Liddiard - Wild Horses
23. Warren And John Ellis - Mis'ry Is My Middle Name
22. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - The Weeping Song
21. Magic Dirt - Dirty Jeans
20. AC/DC - Highway to Hell
19. Kim Salmon & the Surrealists - Bellyfull Of Slugs
18. The Drones - Locust
17. Sarah Blasko - Perfect Now
16. Augie March - The Cold Acre
15. Ed Kuepper - Miracles
14. The Go-Betweens - Finding You
13. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - God Is in the House
12. Dirty Three - Some Summers They Drop Like Flys
11. Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu - Gurrumul history (I was born blind)
10. Antenna - Come on Spring
9. Bluetile Lounge - Ambered
8. The Reels - Quasimodo's Dream
7. The Triffids - In the Pines
6. Kev Carmody - From Little Things Big Things Grow
5. The Scientists - Human Jukebox
4. Laughing Clowns - LAUGHING CLOWNS 'Holy Joe'
3. The Drones - I Don't Ever Want to Change
2. Sarah Blasko - {Explain}
1. Dirty Three and Nick Cave - Time Jesum Transeuntum Et Non Riverentum [featuring The Dirty Three]

OK, that is it. I think I've picked a bit of everything but maybe more obscure than your normal top 100 Aussie chart. If you don't know something which sounds good to you please let me know and I'll do my best in letting you know where or how you can find it. I was going to write a line or two on each song but it really would take forever to do that so it's just a big long list again. There was reasons why for all of them and where they ended up in the chart but you can tell what I like and what I don't and a lot of bands or artists have been left out but I don't like them as much as the songs above. These I would listen to forever and if I could take over Triple J this is what I would play for you. What do you think???

Alright, as we near the end of this first Y2K decade, it's time to take a look back at all the incredible Albums that have been released up to now.

I'll start off this extensive research with 2000, up until 2009. I'll then go back to 1980, all the way up to 1999, to then wrap things up with the 70s and before.

Seeing the amount of albums I listen(ed) to, I'll be choosing my Top 25 Albums for each year. An ordered Top 10, and ~15 others worth mentioning. I'm also considering the live albums and EPs (~5), but they have their own section since songs on these have usually already been released before.

These are general rankings of how I see them today, and based on my Last.FM songs playcounts (2005-now) put through the formula:

Total Sum of each Album's Song's (running time X playcount)
DIVIDED BY
Album's Total Running Time

Thanks to MediaMonkey and its amazing scripting abilities, that formula gives an Album's REAL playcount, taking into consideration every song's lenght & playcount in relation to the overall album's lenght and # of songs on it.
You'll see the result (# of times I've really listened to an album since 2005) besides each, along with my 10* Rating. (x/x)
Besides each Year, you get the Total of all Albums' Playcounts and the average of all Albums' Ratings. (x / %)

Note that I haven't necessarily discovered and enjoyed all these albums on their released years, some I discovered years later. So these are also based on how important (to me) some of these albums were at the time.

(**) are the complete albums I was into at that time;
(*) are albums that contained only a few song(s) I was into or listened to at that time;
and those without (*) are albums I discovered years later.

=======================
Favorite albums (1970-1979)
Favorite albums (1980-1989)
Favorite albums (1990-1999)
=======================

2000 (139 / 81%)



1) Furnished Souls for Rent (48/10) (**)
2) The Screen Behind The Mirror (9/9) (**)
3) Universe (6/9) (**)
4) Dead Soul Men (6/9)
5) undefined (1/9)
6) A New Day Yesterday (1/9)
7) CAB (4/9)
8) Another Spin Around The Sun (5/8) (*)
9) Origin (9/8)
10) Stiff Upper Lip (1/8)

Live/EP:

-) S&M (-/10)
-) Is There Anybody Out There? The Wall Live (-/10)
-) Half the World Is Watching Me (-/9)
-) Earth, Sky and Everything in Between (-/9)
-) Spirit of Live (-/8)
-) Not Enough Shouting (-/8)

worth mentioning:

-) Awake (3/8)
-) The Perfect Element, Part I (1/8)
-) SMPTe (3/8) (*)
-) Don't Give Me Names (1/8)
-) if_then_else (2/8)
-) You Go Now (6/8)
-) Rated R (6/8)
-) Outbound (1/8)
-) Brave New World (1/8)
-) Flamenco.A.Go.Go (1/8)
-) The Sickness (4/7)
-) Lightbulb Sun (3/7)
-) Shuttlecock (2/7)
-) Mer De Noms (3/7) (*)
-) My Favorite Headache (2/7)
-) Crush (9/7) (*)
-) Crack a Smile... and More (1994 album w/ Blues Saraceno) (1/7)




2001 (99 / 84%)



1) Leitmotif (23/10)
2) Alive in an Ultra World (8/10) (**)
3) The Pleasure and the Greed (10/10) (**)
4) Amélie (3/10)
5) Huron Street (6/9)
6) Toxicity (3/9)
7) Contact (2/9)
8) Emalgamation (1/9)
9) Days of the New III (4/9)
10) Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2/9) (**)

Live:

-) Live Scenes From New York (-/10) (**)
-) One Wild Night (-/10) (*)
-) Half Life (-/9)
-) Live at the Baked Potato (-/9)
-) The Deep End (-/8)
-) Live Frogs (-/7)

worth mentioning:

-) Lateralus (7/8)
-) Everyday (2/8)
-) Inertia (6/8) (*)
-) Manic Moonlight (1/8)
-) Feeding the Wheel (3/8) (*)
-) Bridge Across Forever (1/8)
-) Origin Of Symmetry (3/8)
-) Tantric (1/8)
-) Almost Heathen (3/8)
-) Invincible (1/8)
-) Unleashed Memories (1/8)
-) 2 (2/8) (*)
-) 10 000 Hz Legend (1/8)
-) The Interzone Mantras (1/7)
-) The Idiot King (2/7)
-) Buck Fever (1/7)
-) Book M (1/7)




2002 (262 / 85%)



1) Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence (25/10) (**)
2) Population 1 (36/10) (**)
3) Moon Babies (15/10) (**)
4) Songs For The Deaf (21/9)
5) 67 (28/9) (**)
6) Move (12/9)
7) In Absentia (11/9) (*)
8) Freak Guitar (3/9)
9) Saturate (25/9)
10) El Cielo (13/9)

Live/EP:

-) Live From Oz (-/10) (*)
-) Stolen Babies EP (-/9)
-) And All That Could Have Been (-/9)
-) Not for Your Ears (-/8)
-) Boozed, Broozed & Broken-Boned (-/7)

worth mentioning:

-) Bounce (4/9) (*)
-) X (13/8) (**)
-) By the Way (2/8) (*)
-) Exit Elvis (11/8) (**)
-) Weight of the World (3/8)
-) Steal This Album! (3/8)
-) So, It's Like That (1/8)
-) Remedy Lane (2/8)
-) Diorama (4/8)
-) Audioslave (6/8) (*)
-) Vapor Trails (7/8) (*)
-) From One (4/8)
-) Dead Soul Tribe (1/8)
-) Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones (3/7) (**)
-) Independent (3/7)
-) Believe (4/7)




2003 (236 / 90%)



1) Train of Thought (41/10) (**)
2) The Quicksilver Meat Dream (35/10) (**)
3) Office of Strategic Influence (38/10) (*)
4) Frengers (24/10)
5) The Moon is Falling (3/10)
6) Robot Monster (10/10) (**)
7) Re-Foc (12/9)
8) Summercamp Nightmare (2/9)
9) Good Bye Lenin! (1/9)
10) Absolution (14/9) (*)

Live:

-) Live at the Astoria (-/10) (**)
-) Rush in Rio (-/10) (**)
-) This Left Feels Right (-/8) (*)
-) 10 anos ao vivo (-/8)
-) Spatial/Design (-/8)
-) Animals Should Not Try To Act Like People (-/7)

worth mentioning:

-) Faceless (4/8)
-) Souvenirs (2/8)
-) Black Utopia (4/8)
-) In Lake 'ch (2/8)
-) Black Like Sunday (1/8)
-) Blues Deluxe (8) (*)
-) Little Worlds (1/8)
-) Jeff (1/8)
-) A Murder of Crows (1/8)
-) Walking on a Thin Line (1/8)
-) A Natural Disaster (2/8)
-) Fallen (21/8) (*)
-) St Anger (7/7) (*)
-) Quadropus (1/7)
-) Emergent (1/7)
-) Voyageur (4/7)
-) Thirteenth Step (2/7)




Coming up next: 2004



Artists List

3, 7 for 4, A Perfect Circle, AC/DC, Air, Anathema, Attention Deficit, Audioslave, Béla Fleck and the Flecktones, Big Wreck, Black Label Society, Blues Saraceno, Bon Jovi, Breaking Benjamin, CAB, Canvas Solaris, Chroma Key, Cosmosquad, Dave Matthews Band, Days of the New, Deadsoul Tribe, Def Leppard, Derek Sherinian, Disturbed, Don Ross, Dr Sin, Dream Theater, dredg, Edwin, Enigma, Estradasphere, Evanescence, Freak Kitchen, Geddy Lee, Godsmack, Gordian Knot, Gov't Mule, Guano Apes, Harem Scarem, I Mother Earth, Iron Maiden, Jeff Beck, Joe Bonamassa, Joel Hoekstra, John Williams, Jordan Rudess, Karma to Burn, King's X, Kingdom Come, Lacuna Coil, Lucia Moniz, Mattias IA Eklundh, Metallica, Mew, Michael Jackson, Mourning Widows, MullMuzzler, Muse, Nine Inch Nails, Nuno Bettencourt, OSI, Pain of Salvation, Pink Floyd, Planet X, Poison, Porcupine Tree, Primus, Queens of the Stone Age, Ra, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Rush, Sam Aliano, Secret Chiefs 3, Silverchair, Steve Stevens, Steve Vai, Stolen Babies, Super TransAtlantic, System of a Down, Tantric, The Gathering, The Les Claypool Frog Brigade, The Mayan Factor, The Tea Party, Tool, Transatlantic, Tribe of Judah, Wolfstone, Yann Tiersen.

hip hop / glitch hop / wonkie / bassline / bootleg / breakbeat / drum and bass

1 Get Yuh Own Jneiro Jarel
2 Ooops Hud Mo
3 1-9-9-9 Common f. Sadat X
4 The Healer Erykah Badu
5 La La La Danny Breaks
6 None In Mind Koushik
7 Little Bit of Feel Good (Boreta Remix) Jamie Lidell
8 You'll Find A Way (Switch & Sinden Remix) Santogold
9 Backyard Betty (Two Fingers remix) Spank Rock
10 Mistadobalina Del tha Funkee Homosapien
11 California Love 2Pac & Dr. Dre
12 Summertime Dj Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Princ
13 The Message (datashat Remix) Grand Master Flash & The Furios Five
14 Talking All That Jazz Stetsasonic
15 Hand On The Pump (Muggs' Blunt Remix) Cypress Hill
16 Fight The Power Public Enemy
17 Insane In The Brain Cypress Hill
18 O.P.P. Naughty by Nature
19 I Get Money (Lazer Sword Neon Mix) 50 Cent
20 Conscious Ferilla Kraddy
21 Mama Said Knock You Out LL Cool J
22 The Jellyfish Danny Breaks
23 Ready Or Not (Salaam's Rmx) The Fugees
24 Whoomp! (There It Is) Tag Team
25 Angry ft.Tippa Irie The Bug
26 Go Ballistic feat. Ardominal Ghislain Poirier
27 Bad (Mowgli is Bad Remix) Michael Jackson
28 Samo Ti (Zombie Disco Squad Remix) Faggot Fairy's
29 Hey U (Switch & Sinden Remix) Basement Jaxx
30 Drop It (Drop the Lime Rmx) Mathhead
31 Bulletproof (Zinc Remix) La Roux
32 Kid Conga (feat MC Miltinho) Daniel Haaksman
33 I_Want_You_(Bok Bok_remix) Dre Skull
34 Moombah (Afrojack mix) Silvio Ecomo & Chuckie
35 Party All Knight (True Pseudo Remix) Eli Smith
36 Just Be Mowgli
37 Setting Me Free Hot City
38 Mars (Exclusive Herve Re-Fix) Herve
39 Hey ! (Foamo Remix) Diplo & Laidback Luke
40 War (Blatta & Inesha Go To Luanda Remix) Rampage
41 In for the Kill [Skream's Let's Get Ravey Mix] La Roux
42 Timber Coldcut
43 Tripping On Sunshine (Sunshine Dub) DJ Duke & The Breaking Crew
44 Smack My Bitch Up Prodigy
45 Get Down Jack Beats
46 Pon de floor' feat. Vybz Kartel Major Lazer
47 Insomnia (The Hump Day Project Remix) Faithless
48 Techno Skank slaughtermob (BANDIT & SILVER FOX)
49 Thunderstruck (Tittsworth Remix) AC/DC
50 Sweet Assed Child O Mine (Drop the Lime remix) Guns N Roses
51 Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing in the line for the Bathroom) N.E.R.D
52 Searchin' for my Rizzla Ratpack
53 On A Ragga Tip 97 SL2
54 Sesames Treet Smart E's
55 Music LTJ Bukem
56 Chemical Imbalance (DJ Die Mix) Karime Kendra
57 Dude (Zinc Vocal Mix) Beenie Man
58 Aztec Spor
59 Contra feat. Lomax Xample
60 Clear Skyz (Break Remix) Die
61 Ashram Klute
62 Ghost Whisper Pyro
63 Unknown (Vocal) Dylan & Eminem
64 Thugtronika Instra:mental
65 Watching You Instra:mental
66 Hubble Raiden
67 Can't Get Over You Calibre
68 Wonder Where d bridge
69 You Got Me Erykah Badu & Blu Mar Ten
70 A Thousand Beautiful Things (Blu Mar Ten Remix) Annie Lennox
71 Donnie Darko Soundtrack - Mad World

Since one of the thing I love the most about music is the chemistry between players in a band, here's my lists of favorite duos.
These reflect not only amazing technical ability but also an amazing mix of styles backed up by great songwriting as well.

Duo Guitar/Bass

1) Alex Lifeson / Geddy Lee (Rush)
2) John Petrucci / John Myung (Dream Theater)
3) Nuno Bettencourt / Pat Badger (Extreme)
4) Jagori Tanna / Bruce Gordon (I Mother Earth)
5) Steve Vai / Billy Sheehan (David Lee Roth & Vai)

Duo Guitar/Drums

1) John Petrucci / Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater)
2) Nuno Bettencourt / Mike Mangini & Jeff Consi (Extreme / Mourning Widows)
3) Steve Vai / Mike Mangini (Vai)
4) Jagori & Christian Tanna (I Mother Earth)
5) Adam Jones / Danny Carey (Tool)

Duo Guitar/Keyboards

1) John Petrucci / Jordan Rudess (Dream Theater / LTE)
2) John Petrucci / Kevin Moore (Dream Theater)
3) John Petrucci / Derek Sherinian (Dream Theater)
4) Jim Matheos / Kevin Moore (OSI / Fates Warning)
5) Nuno Bettencourt / Steve Ferlazzo (DramaGods)

Duo Bass/Drums

1) Les Claypool / Tim Alexander (Primus)
2) Geddy Lee / Neil Peart (Rush)
3) Doug Pinnicks/Jerry Gaskill (King's X)
4) Rufus Philpot / Virgil Donati (Planet X)
5) Justin Chancellor / Danny Carey (Tool)
6) Bruce Gordon / Christian Tanna (I Mother Earth)

Duo Bass/Keyboards

1) Tony Levin / Jordan Rudess (LTE)
2) John Myung / Derek Sherinian (Dream Theater / Platypus)
3) Billy Sheehan / John Novello (Niacin)

Duo Drums/Keyboards

1) Virgil Donati / Derek Sherinian (Planet X)
2) Mike Portnoy / Jordan Rudess (Dream Theater / LTE)
3) Mike Portnoy / Kevin Moore (Dream Theater / OSI)
4) Carl Palmer / Keith Emerson (ELP)
5) Dennis Chambers / John Novello (Niacin)

Duo Guitars

1) Steve Clark / Phil Collen (Def Leppard)
2) James Hetfield / Kirk Hammett (Metallica)
3) Rodrigo y Gabriela
4) Angus & Malcolm Young (AC/DC)
5) Steve Clark / Pete Willis (Def Leppard)
6) Phil Collen / Vivian Campbell (Def Leppard)

Duo Songwriters

1) Gary Cherone / Nuno Bettencourt (Extreme)
2) John Petrucci / Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater / LTE)
3) Virgil Donati / Derek Sherinian (Planet X)

Wishlist

1) Nuno Bettencourt / Mike Portnoy
2) Nuno Bettencourt / Virgil Donati
3) Nuno Bettencourt & Steve Vai / Planet X


Dream Lineups

Prog-Funky: Nuno Bettencourt / Mike Portnoy / Les Claypool / Derek Sherinian
Prog-Crazy: Steve Vai / Mike Mangini / Victor Wooten / Jordan Rudess
Prog-Spacy: Alex Lifeson / Virgil Donati / Geddy Lee / Kevin Moore

Howdy.

I'm Anna & these are the 15 most irritating, nerve-grating, brain-killing, child-corrupting, seizure-inducing songs in music history. If you feel very, very masochistic, create a playlist of these, listen to it, then kill yourself. What, you're not suicidal? YOU WILL BE.

PARENTAL WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT! THE FOLLOWING JOURNAL ENTRY HAS PICTURES OF MUTANTS IN IT!!!

15 - Any & every song by Mariah Carey


Take your pick.

14 - Labelle & a bunch of other bitches dressed up as whores: Lady Marmalade


This song is so indescribably retarded, it makes want to strangle a kitten, stomp a bunny to death and deep-fry a living goldfish AT THE SAME TIME.

13 - Bon Jovi: Livin' On A Prayer


Everything that sucks about the 80's & hair metal, condensed into 4 minutes 10 seconds of intense, cheerful ear-rape.
Oh, and he's a douche.

12 - Kings of Leon: Sex On Fire


If I were a mic, I'd file a restraining order against this singer dude (forgive my ignorance for not bothering to look up his name).

11 - Europe: The Final Countdown


Because there can be no list of shitty songs without this one. The worst thing is-once the fucker gets into your ears, there's no getting rid of it! And look at that album cover... JUST LOOK AT IT.

10 - AC/DC: Highway to Hell (especially as performed by Brian Johnson)


Whoever thinks that this band does good hard rock needs to check out The Cult ASAP. If you do that and still think this song & this band are any good, congratulations- you fucking suck.

9 - Michael Jackson: Bad


Hard to pick just one, really. I chose this 'cause he says I'M BAD a zillion times in it, and it's the truth. The most overrated artist in music history, MJ had an unnaturally whiny voice & annoyingly repetitive, spastic dance moves, widely considered some of the bestest evarrr. Really? Plus he had the IQ of a senile Forrest Gump and threw away millions upon millions of dollars on shiny kitsch he didn't really need. A true icon indeed.

8 - Céline Dion: My Heart Will Go On


The fact that I liked this song when I was 13 makes me sad. Celine is the perfect example of a person who does have a voice, but uses it in the most irritating way imaginable.

7 - Avril Lavigne: Girlfriend


This song (and everything else she's ever done) makes me wish I had earlids; you know, like eyelids, only for ears. Those would be useful.

6 - O-Zone: Dragostea Din Tei


The English language doesn't have the words to describe how bad it is. I wish I could've spent the summer of 2004 on the Moon, maybe then I could've avoided hearing this (not sure, though). Unfortunately I understand the lyrics, too.

5 - Rihanna: Umbrella ella ella eh eh eh eh


I'm confused. I thought black females were supposed to have good voices. But then along come this squeaking blow-up doll and suddenly I'm not so sure anymore.

4 - Beyoncé: Video Phone


Look at this video. There's no way to describe just how disjointed and overlong and weird and ugly it is. Plus it features Lady GaGa, who's guaranteed to make everything 50% uglier.


The song is... amazingly bad. The kind of nausea-inducing shittiness that makes you hope that all that stuff in the Bible is true and there is indeed a Hell where the people responsible for this bullshit will burn, BURN for eternity.

3 - Freddie Mercury: Living on My Own


Another example of good pipes being put to bad use. JESUS H. CHRIST, THIS IS SO, SO HORRIBLE.

2 - Britney Spears: Womanizer


It's actually a 3-way tie between Womanizer, Gimme More & 3. The Unholy Trinity of shitty plastic pop devoid of any emotion or message, 'cept that dressing up as cheap slut is cool and attracts men. Sadly, the latter is true.

1 - Lady GaGa: Poker Face


She is a phenomenon! She is wild! She is shocking! SHE SUCKS ASS!

Stuff her fans keep saying:
SHE CAN PLAY THE PIANO!!! - yeah, like cca. 50.000.000 other people on the planet.
SHE SINGS LIVE!!! - sad but true: actually squeezing out those dumbass lyrics instead of mouthing them is an extraordinary accomplishment in today's pop business.
SHE DESIGNS ALL HER STUFF!!! - I'm pretty sure her designing process includes smoking weed while thinking real hard about how she could make the headlines again.
ZOMG SHE'S SO HOT!!! - O rly? Am I missing something here?


...yeah, whatever, dudes. The level of idiocy in Poker Face is nicely demonstrated by this charming fellow:


And if you still want more, just read the lyrics for Bad Romance & feel free to discuss the hidden meaning behind mysterious & intriguing lines like
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!


What, you still don't feel suicidal? Here's a special bonus, brought to you by
Black Eyed Peas!



SEASON'S SPECIAL:
2 songs which, unlike most of those mentioned below, will NEVER go away...
Frank Sinatra (and several others): Jingle Bells & Bing Crosby (and several others): White Christmas
If these songs do anything successfully, it's the total & utter destruction of my Xmas spirit. Same story every year. It starts to snow, I feel kinda cheerful, I enter a store to check out some totally unnecessary stuff I might buy for my relatives to demonstrate that I actually care about their existence, and ONE OF THESE SONGS starts to play...
...and I already want to shoot a new hole into Santa's ass with a Magnum .44.


THE END