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Biography

When the Almighty Lumberjacks of Death spewed into existence (1986), every band in town was playing two hundred light years an hour and thought melody was the name of the hooker next to the beer store, or they were vapid douche bags with fluffy hair and seventeen keyboards. No fuckin' way were we gonna be either. We really didn't give a flyin' gonorrhea infested donkey fuck in hell if people thought we sucked, but we weren't gonna be DRI, and we weren't gonna be Erasure. For whatever reason punks, skins, rockers, mods, chuckleheads, bus station perverts, amputees and diner waitresses generally thought that we didn't suck. So we ejaculated loud shit as much as life on the west side of Detroit, in the shadow of the Herman Gardens housing project, would allow, then took a hiatus. The hiatus sucked. None of us explored the Himalayas, found Jesus or Elvis,built hospitals in Norway or learned Aleutian macrame. So we shitcanned the hiatus and went on with A.L.D. Some people think we rule and some people would rather have diarrhea on a Greyhound bus. Either way, we look at life through lager colored glasses, we believe ya only live once so ya might as well fuck it up, and play it loud because everyone's deaf eventually. Thanks for participating, and we don't have any nice parting gifts for ya. May ya get to heaven half an hour before the devil knows yer dead.

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