The Official last.fm Kvlt Police

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Leader: ToolsAndCorpses
Join Policy: Owner Approval
Created on: 3 Sep 2006
Description:

We are the Kvlt Police. If you would like to be a member, you must first be approved.

Here are the ten commandments of the Kvlt Police.

1. Thou shalt not listen to nu-metal unless the band is otherwise accepted by the Kvlt Police.

2. Trivium is a joke band, because Matt Heafy wants to ride bike. If you don't know what I mean, then you are automatically disqualified.

3. Thou must listen to Black Metal and it must be one of your top 2 favourite types of metal.

4. The Kvlt Police rox0rz. You do not. That is FINAL. There are exceptions for those who are in the Kvlt Police and those named Odin, Thor, or any other Viking God.

5. You must be able to fall asleep listening to Cryptopsy.

6. When thou sees a forum topic (inside or outside of the Kvlt Police group) praising any band that is banned from the Kvlt Police, it is immediately declared a joke topic and is now about trains.

7. If you see a person that posts in any metal forum for the first time and speaks of bands that are banned by the kvlt police, help them out. If they make fun of the bands you recommend, troll them to death.

8. We all wear Viking helmets on a regular basis.

9. If GWAR ever stays the night at your house, it is in your best interests to not let the lead singer sleep in bed with you.

10. You will play your metal music loudly every chance you get. It doesn't matter if it is in a McDonald's drive-thru or a police encounter.

Active Discussions

hurricane_mario commented on
“This group is dead.” (13) January 2012

orion_of_lycia commented on
“Satanism or Paganism” (24) April 2011

Ikelim commented on
“Is it just me?” (16) October 2010

TheBurningTimes commented on
“Patrols of last fm; As we are indeed The Official Last FM KVLT…” (20) October 2010

ToolsAndCorpses commented on
“Suggest kvlt bands for connections” (57) October 2010

Recent Journals

Spearhead Pictures by bardism | 28 Sep 2009 | 3 comments
BASHING TOP ARTISTZ. LOLOLOLOLOL. by Lyrant | 26 Oct 2008 | 30 comments
Enough with the vampires. by Doomface | 13 Feb 2009 | 2 comments

See all

Weekly Top Artists

Overall Unique to this Group

1	Mayhem	11
2	Opeth	11
3	Agalloch	10
4	Darkthrone	9
5	Bathory	9
6	Peste Noire	9
7	Marduk	8
8	Burzum	8
9	Cannibal Corpse	8
10	Behemoth	8

Connected Artists

Shoutbox

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KurkkuKeisari

Preview of the whole upcoming third Dødkvlt album: http://youtu.be/8OcAWh_49Hs

last month
hurricane_mario

Last Necrogoat anniversary world tour before the Nuclear world apocalypse later this year. Feb 20th 2012, South Sandwich Islands. Miss it, or die! Either way, the necrogoat has no soul and does not care. http://www.last.fm/music/Necrogoat+who+is+so+inverted+that+he+has+become+upright SATANNNNN

January 2012
KurkkuKeisari

Now you can pre-order the upcoming second Dødkvlt album from here: http://laden.platten-firma.de/product_info.php?info=p105_Dodkvlt----II----DIGI-CD--PRE-ORDER-.html Also, the upcoming split with Goats Of Doom is available for pre-order: http://laden.platten-firma.de/product_info.php?info=p104_Dodkvlt---Goats-of-Doom---Split-CD--PRE-ORDER-.html Both will be released April 6th 2011.

March 2011
iPaet

\m/ METAL MILITIA \m/ TRVE KVLT BLACK METAL IS NEVER GOING TO DIE BROS \m/

March 2011
ToolsAndCorpses

I take a very long time getting around to approving members sometimes.

March 2011
Razor745

How did I end up in here? [3]

February 2011
hurricane_mario

How did I end up in here? [2]

February 2011
Yuggoth_Fungi

Ron Paul, grim frostbitten warrior or the American people!

January 2011
Semaj97

Chocolate-Rain is black as fuck.

January 2011
KurkkuKeisari

Tay Zonday, can't get any more KVLT than chocolate-rain..

November 2010
KurkkuKeisari

Here's some KVLT for you cops, Dødkvlt: http://www.myspace.com/dodkvlt

September 2010
GrimFilth

Connected Artists > David Hasselhoff !? he is kind of krieg...

February 2010
Taskusorsa

How did I end up in here?

November 2009
ToolsAndCorpses

Yeah, fuck off everybody.

November 2009
ratts36

Just kidding. Faggots.

November 2009
ratts36

I'm desperatly trying to bring the peace in a world full of h8. :(

November 2009
Wouldbe_Allen

what's black metal?

November 2009
ratts36

C'mon ToolsAndCorpses, don't be so tetchy. Shit is actually pretty darn funny.

November 2009
ToolsAndCorpses

Your point is pretty fucktarded imo since people don't choose their country of origin. I'm a British citizen by birth and have lived most my life in the US and I turned out kvlt enough to start all this shit so put a stop to yours if you would so kindly. On the whole country vs country debate, I'd happily take the US's Cobalt over Sweden's Marduk or some shit.

October 2009
Celticknife

new zealand is mroe kvlt than your country

October 2009