The ANTI-HAIRCORE Movment

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Created on: 21 May 2008
Description:
Tired of the hardcore and emotive hardcore scene becoming all about fashion and trends? We Are.

Shit, I Misspelled "Movement."
Oh well

"What is HAIRcore?" ...you might ask...

Let's face it, folks. Hardcore just ain't what it used to be. The genre that used to be anything BUT fashion and image has taken quite a turn for the worse. Nowadays hardcore is basically all about fashion, breakdowns, and stupid comb-over hair styles. Unfortunately, a lot of metal and emo bands have followed down the same path (emo especially) . Oh sure, they try to pin new titles to the music like "metalcore", "screamo", "gothcore", and such....but it's just a failed attempt to make it something new when it's anything BUT. Just as the "hair metal" bands bastardized 80's metal, today is just the same. Think about it...back in the day, metal used to be all about the raw, aggressive and rebellious music and NOTHING else. Just as hardcore and punk was when they were born. In fact, those genres took a firm stance AGAINST fashion and image. However, in the 80's the scene began to change - the clothes were tighter, the mascara was plentiful, the moves were choreographed, and the HAIR was BIG. The hair made the band. Soooo....what's so different nowadays? Many of the bands we see/hear today that claim to be "hardcore", "emo", and metal are all about girl jeans, coreographed moves, endless amounts of breakdowns, and HAIR! The long, shaggy, mop-top, in the face, flat iron-straight, parted to one side hair! also referred to as "the reverse mullet", "the fringe" and/or "the comb-over". So what makes hair metal different from today's hardcore?? Let's be honest, TRUE hardcore has all but faded away leaving its degenerate bastard son -BEHOLD HAIRCORE MUSIC!!

NOW -TAKE THE HAIRCORE CHALLENGE!!

You might find yourself asking "am i a haircore kid?". Well we are here to help you determine that. There are many different elements that contribute to that answer. So we have taken a familiar approach to the question to help you better understand what HAIRCORE is all about. Just as comedian Jeff Foxworthy made the slogan "You might be a redneck" famous, we will do the same only changing it to "You might be a haircore kid". Keep in mind that this list is ever-changing....so don't be surprised to see additions to the list on occasion. Let's begin shall we?

* * *

-If you look like any one of these guys:

..you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you are pissed off at your younger sister because she won't let you wear her jeans...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you practice your "hardcore dance moves" in front of the mirror...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you think being in a mosh pit means you get to show of the "hardcore dance moves" you have been practicing in front of the mirror instead of beating the piss out of someone...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you have torn through several pairs of girl jeans from doing your "hardcore dance moves"...you might be a haircore kid.

-If during a show, you stand motionless watching the band like a zombie until the breakdown is performed in which you then begin to bust your "hardcore dance moves", then return to your idle position once the breakdown has finished...you ARE a haircore kid.

-While in a mosh pit, you leave a couple of feet worth of space from the fellow moshers, so that you:
a.) don't hurt yourself and/or them
and/or
b.) can show off your "hardcore dance moves" uninterrupted
...you might be a haircore kid

-If the quality of a band (a.k.a. -whether you like the band or not) is determined upon the amount of breakdowns the band has...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you are a male and you roll up your girl jeans to your knee caps to show off the tattoos on your legs...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you are a male and you need a pair of pliers to get the zipper up on your jeans...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you are male and you wear black eyeliner on occassion if not all the time...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you are a male and you wear pink eyeliner on occassion if not all the time...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you purchase all of your "vintage" clothing at either a Hot Topic and/or a Urban Outfiters...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you shop at Hot Topic...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you work at Hot Topic...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you are in ANY WAY affiliated with Hot Topic...you might be a haircore kid.

-If the name of your band has any of the words: death, dying, dead, bury, blood, bleeding, kill, funeral, casket, and/or grave in it...you might be a haircore band.

-If you wear tshirts that are 2 sizes too small to the point that your:
a.) lower abdomen is showing (if you are a skinny kid)
or
b.) your gut and/or rolls are hanging over your girl jeans (if you are a fat kid)
...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you find yourself crying alone late at night while listening to bands such as: atreyu, eighteen visions, hawthorne heights, underoath, drop dead gorgeous, fall out boy, avenged sevenfold, aiden, panic at the disco, from first to last, greeley estates, cute is what we aim for, the bleeding alarm, saosin, the chariot, escape the fate, bleed the dream, chiodos, silverstein, scary kids scaring kids, kill hannah, the red jumpsuit apparatus, four letter lie, the horrors, boys like girls, rookie of the year, endless hallway, bring me the horizon, i killed the prom queen, madina lake, driver side impact, mayday parade, etc...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you actually know the lyrics to any of the bands listed above...you probably are a haircore kid.

-If you walk into a record store that happens to be playing the album of a haircore band, and you stay in the store for the LENGTH OF THE ALBUM singing along to EVERY lyric to show everyone in the store how big of a fan you are...you are a haircore kid.

-If you claim you are into hardcore music yet you have no idea who bad brains, gorilla biscuits, civ, quicksand, deadguy, earth crisis, h2o, refused, bold, beyond, today is the day, black flag, bloodlet, snapcase, vision of disorder, inside out, shai hulud, dragbody, underdog, fury of five, shelter, minor threat, embrace, cro-mags, sick of it all, the accused, or lifetime is...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you claim you are into emo or emocore yet you have no idea who rites of spring, moss icon, sunny day real estate, ignition, dag nasty, fugazi, christi front drive, texas is the reason, mineral, penfold, boys life, braid, promise ring, chamberlain or jawbreaker is...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you are in a band who informs the audience when a breakdown is about to occure while you are performing...you might be a haircore kid/you might be in a haircore band.

-If you recently purchased and currently wear an 'iron maiden' tshirt because apparently bands like atreyu, drop dead gorgeous, avenged sevenfold, escape the fate and underoath says its "cool", yet you don't own a single 'iron maiden' album...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If your band actually uses your website and/or myspace page to PROMOTE YOUR FUCKING SALON (umm...DROP DEAD GORGEOUS?)...you are the BE ALL END ALL OF HAIRCORE.

see for yourself:

-If you are a male and you can't go to a hardcore show without numerous amounts of other males hitting on you because they think you are a chick...you are probably a haircore kid. (thanks, el dustino!)

-If you go to a hardcore show where everyone is moshing, and at the show's end, not a SINGLE person is hurt...you were probably at a haircore show.

-If you are in a band who has ridiculously long song titles such as "There's A Good Reason These Tables are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet" or "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage" or "I've Got 10 Friends And A Crowbar That Says You Ain't Gonna Do Jack" so you can show off how 'clever' and 'deep' you think you are...you might be a haircore band.

-If you think that the more you or a band you listen to throws their guitar around their upper torso and does 'battle axe' moves while performing, the more 'hardcore' you / they are...you are probably a haircore kid or in a haircore band.
(here's a tip...learn how to play it before you throw it)

-If your haircut costs more than your guitar rig, you ARE a haircore kid. (thanks, jimi conrad!)

-If you have ever wrecked your car because an atreyu song came on the radio and you began to cry uncontrollably...you ARE a haircore kid. (thanks for the input, tyler!)

-If you actually believe in a "scene point" system and do everything in your power to accumulate as many "points" as possible...you are the be-all end-all of haircore.

-If you are in a band who has lyrics like:
"Robert Smith lied, boys do cry, and with blood tears in my eyes, I'm an Anne Rice novel come to life"
...you ARE a haircore band.

-If you wear a white belt for fashion rather than function (because your girl jeans are tight enough)...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If in a few years you find out that you are unable to produce children due to several years of wearing girl jeans...you were or still are a haircore kid/adult.

-If you wear a bandana around your neck, and you are NOT a cowboy...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you wear a bandana around your neck and your calender says 2007...you ARE a haircore kid...and a loser.

-If you are a female and you think it's "hot" when two haircore guys kiss...you ARE a haircore girl.

-If you sent us an add request because you did a keyword search on atreyu, eighteen visions, hawthorne heights, underoath, drop dead gorgeous, fall out boy, avenged sevenfold, aiden, panic at the disco, from first to last, greeley estates, cute is what we aim for, the bleeding alarm, saosin, the chariot, escape the fate, bleed the dream, chiodos, silverstein, scary kids scaring kids, kill hannah, four letter lie, the horrors, boys like girls, rookie of the year, endless hallway, madina lake, bring me the horizon, i killed the prom queen, driver side impact, mayday parade, or the red jumpsuit apparatus and you thought we were fans...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If you are in a band whose artwork, merchandise, and/or album cover features a picture of a heart and/or a guy in a business suit, like this:

...you might be in a haircore band.

-If you are in ANY WAY affiliated with 'glamour kills clothing'...you are the be-all-end-all of haircore.

-If your myspace name has brackets in it...
like Mikeee_ [zzombiee] or justin [Jealousy]
...you probably are a haircore kid.

-If your myspace picture section has a maxed-out 300 pictures of you making the same face from different angles, complete with 10 bulletins a day begging for picture comments...you might be a haircore kid. (thanks Clementine!)

-If your myspace pics are in chronological order according to the different hairstyles you have had in the past year...you might be a haircore kid.

-If you have posted old pics of your comb-over haircut on myspace with the caption "i miss my hair" underneath it...you ARE be a haircore kid.

-If you are a male and you leave your female friends comments on myspace that say "i wish i had your hair"...you ARE a haircore kid.

-If your band's tour is sponsored by Hot Topic...you ARE a haircore band.

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  • jorgefuzzo

    BMTH IS haircore.

    8 Feb 2012 Reply
  • keezk

    my chemical romance in the charts lol.

    9 Aug 2010 Reply
  • Exile92

    The Chariot are cool guys, don't be hatin'.

    18 Sep 2009 Reply
  • Maxymale

    This week charts, aren't bad D.R.I> first place, second KoRn( yeah, they are better then shit like, uhhh atreyu, eighteen visions, hawthorne heights, underoath, drop dead gorgeous, fall out boy, avenged sevenfold, aiden, panic at the disco, from first to last, greeley estates, cute is what we aim for, the bleeding alarm, saosin, the chariot, escape the fate, bleed the dream, chiodos, silverstein, scary kids scaring kids, kill hannah, four letter lie, the horrors, boys like girls, rookie of the year, endless hallway, madina lake, bring me the horizon, i killed the prom queen, driver side impact, mayday parade, or the red jumpsuit apparatus)

    13 Sep 2009 Reply
  • Bloodybirdbrain

    ha LOLZ BRING ME THE HORIZON ON YR TOP ARTISSt LIST!!!1!

    14 Jul 2009 Reply
  • kamelow

    Sad but true...

    7 Jul 2009 Reply
  • Bloodybirdbrain

    here add this in and dont ever make me read again. [IMG=http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/5203/l6a41d8596bd431b72ce451.jpg][/IMG]

    22 Jun 2009 Reply
  • Bloodybirdbrain

    wait-THE CHARIOT are NOT Haircore you dumb shits

    22 Jun 2009 Reply
  • liquidphil

    Thank you for your kind words, sir.

    21 Feb 2009 Reply
  • xogcpx

    you are all fags i am a hardcore kid a real one every fucking band you have on here is either old hardcore that those fucking fag punks and hot topic fuck heads can have and the other bands are either screamo or grind core so if your gonna lump everyone into one category then you should fucking learn your god damn history or read into something real hardcore kids dont wear fucking girls jeans those are scene kids your fucking square. everything that you named is a scene kid so fuck you. your probily a smelly fuck metal kid that pushes people and think thats cool or your a fucker that got your shit kicked in by one of these kids and now think your gonna show them by going home and bloging well sorry to hurt your feelings but it doesnt make you cool and if i find out where you live and who you are ill be shur to fucking break your god damn face. you cock sucking pease of shit and fuck everyone else and there hole familys that commented before me

    7 Feb 2009 Reply
  • shecactus

    Do haircore ids really think that hairstyle is flattering, or is one half of their face just hideously ugly?

    10 Jan 2009 Reply
  • liquidphil

    i like how i was trying to bring the scene fags to the truth.

    12 Sep 2008 Reply
  • MaxPower420

    i like how Chiodos is a conected artist

    11 Sep 2008 Reply
  • murih

    could be that they look normal but i rather don't like them in music than of theier look...this comes to it but yeah...deathcore music sounds bad that's all for me...

    5 Aug 2008 Reply
  • KMFCM

    Dillinger only have one member with "that haircut", so I don't really think they'd count as "haircore". Just because haircore kids like your band, doesn't mean you're haircore. Those kids jock Ed Gein, after all. Ed Gein are not crossdressers. Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza = not crossdressers. Most of those shitty deathcore bands look pretty normal too actually.

    26 Jul 2008 Reply
  • talkloud

    their older stuff (90s) was pretty legit i think

    20 Jul 2008 Reply
  • murih

    the dillinger escape plan? sorry...but i think they are faggots :/ ahhh -.-

    19 Jul 2008 Reply
  • talkloud

    it's probably a good thing that this group is discriminatory. wouldn't be much fun if phil let all the as i lay dying fans in

    11 Jul 2008 Reply
  • liquidphil

    Some of the music is okay, i mainly hate the fashion that goes with it. I Like Converge, CTTS, Some JFAC, The locust, The Dillinger Escape Plan and others.

    9 Jul 2008 Reply
  • murih

    the guys from earth crisis don't use make up and haven't got that shity haircuts and so on XD

    9 Jul 2008 Reply
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