Introverted Lonely and Over-Sensitive » Discussions

Your love life?

 
  • I'm a loser. What more is there to say?

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  • I feel like we should all have a big group hug...

    There, that's better.

    Remember to keep breathing.
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  • I feel a bit Belle & Sebastian today. Hooray for being single and melancholy.

    Remember to keep breathing.
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  • Re: Re: Re:

    Quoth mustaqila:
    Quoth Shaunography:
    Its sick how much I can relate to that ¬_¬ Almost the exact same story.
    So what you do is time it right to get her once he's "done" with her..

    I wish it was as simple as that. She just doesn't like me in that way, plain and simple

    "Just because a band is old, it doesn't mean that they're good" Me, 2005

    "Did you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk." Tom Waits
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  • Re:

    Quoth jameswharper:
    I feel a bit Belle & Sebastian today. Hooray for being single and melancholy.

    Belle and Sebastian are <3

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    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 1 Jun 2005, 13:53

    Re:

    Quoth jameswharper:
    I feel a bit Belle & Sebastian today. Hooray for being single and melancholy.

    bless you, yes...!
    and isnt b & s just perfect.

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    • muz said...
    • Alumni
    • 1 Jun 2005, 16:11

    Re: Re: Re: Re:

    Quoth Shaunography:
    Quoth mustaqila:
    Quoth Shaunography:
    Its sick how much I can relate to that ¬_¬ Almost the exact same story.
    So what you do is time it right to get her once he's "done" with her..

    I wish it was as simple as that. She just doesn't like me in that way, plain and simple
    Okay, there is always the piano wire and chloroform option á la Metal Gear Solid ;)

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  • Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

    Quoth mustaqila:
    Quoth Shaunography:
    Quoth mustaqila:
    Quoth Shaunography:
    Its sick how much I can relate to that ¬_¬ Almost the exact same story.
    So what you do is time it right to get her once he's "done" with her..

    I wish it was as simple as that. She just doesn't like me in that way, plain and simple
    Okay, there is always the piano wire and chloroform option á la Metal Gear Solid ;)

    Hahahaha. Or simply a shovel to the teeth?

    "Just because a band is old, it doesn't mean that they're good" Me, 2005

    "Did you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk." Tom Waits
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    • Phiiil said...
    • User
    • 2 Jun 2005, 04:46
    Damn, I like this group - I can relate to all of you :)

    My situation - met this girl several years ago, fancy her like crazy as she is -completely- my type, but haven't really got to know her terribly well (my choice) since she's been attached since forever - and it's a bad idea to get into the situation where you really fall for someone who is attached. That changed though, and lately she keeps giving me ambiguous looks which could be good, or could be just friendliness. So, after exams are over for the both of us, I'm going to ask her for coffee or something like that :/ The drawback is that waiting and anticipation makes it ridiculously hard to concentrate on revision, but it's better than getting shot down now, and then still having exams to do.

    I haven't asked anyone out in years though, as I'm a fussy individual and won't settle for second best.... It baffles me to see people drift aimlessly into relationships with people they don't particularly feel anything for, and then whine and whine when they don't like the situation they're in.

    Edited by Phiiil on 13 Sep 2005, 09:20
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    • Enoon said...
    • User
    • 13 Jun 2005, 09:32
    heh, I'm in a relationship wiht someone I can't really talk to. I guess that's more my problem than anyones since I can't really talk to anyone without getting these looks like no one has any fucking clue what I'm talking about and even I get lost at times. My mind just doesn't communicate in straight lines... I find myself living in images that no one can fully grasp, and so I always feel alone no matter what relationship I'm in.
    Oh well, we still do things together, but when it comes to what's gonig on inside, well I just write it down and send it to the only person I know alive on this planet that can almost see what I mean (too bad she lives on another continent ;_;).
    And so I'm alone even when I'm among people, but somehow I feel ok about it, it's just the kind of being I am.

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  • heh, I'm in a relationship wiht someone I can't really talk to. I guess that's more my problem than anyones since I can't really talk to anyone without getting these looks like no one has any fucking clue what I'm talking about and even I get lost at times

    Well this is at least the most fucking mirrorlike thing I've read in years, exactly the same goes for me, even if I never found the words to describe my problem that good. Uhm love life...I'm in love all the time, but there are a couple of problems making me say that I have nothing like a love life. All I get are friendships with people that I actually adore but shit, I don't know if that is better than having nothing with 'em.

    The more you try to erase me
    The more, the more
    The more that I appear
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  • i'm useless when it comes to love. i found the girl of my dreams, she'd been in my life for ages but i waited too long and by the time i was about to finally let her know how i feel she got a bf, who just happened to be one of my mates. at first i was pretty upset with myself for waiting too long but i know that my mate wont doing anything to hurt her or doing anything wrong with her so i suppose i can't ask too much of that.

    i'm looking at the moment for someone, my problem is that i don't know how to start up conversations with new people unless i'm forced to, like when i'm in college. i just start blabbering uncontrolably. any one got any tips?

    Chadwick Merryweather-Hardy IV of Chadistan,
    The Lord Of Darkness & Fruit
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  • For me, I had zero love life, as scared of girls and had no self-confidence at all - untill i was 16... then all of a sudden, over the course of 6 months (just after i left school!) I had my first kiss, first girlfriend, first shag..... and because i got so much attention in such a short period of time, I got in WAY over my head and ended up with 3 g/f's at the same time! It was like I was on another level of thinking and was feeding off the attention.

    After several pointless relationships, geting a girl over the internet to fall in love with me, and another 2 girls who thought they were!? New years came and i was at a great party - by this time i had changed my ways and promised to myself i'd hurt no more girls... and at this party i really liked this girl (girl 1) and thought i had a chance because her friend (girl 2) said girl 1 fancied me and i got on really well with her. But i over heard that she thought i was gay! O_O That completely put me off - so i decided to get very drunk and stoned which was a bad idea, girl 2 was looking after me when i was completey fucked. So i became attracted to her as she was the one looking after me, suppose it was the attention that got me again! Ended up being upstairs for about 3 hours with her! But i didn't know what i was bloody doing - i was to drunk! Anyway, the next morning i got a phone call from a friend of these two girls, she was having a go at me about getting with girl 2 instead of getting with girl 1 (who i had stated i fancied to the girl on the phone before new years). She fucked with my head and ended up making me tell girl 1 I liked her.

    The day after i told girl 1 that i liked her, i met up with girl 2 and her charm got me again and i kissed her! (fuck sake) So by then i was in a mess, thinking "yeah good one dipstick you went and fucked people around again". I had a talk with girl 1 and she was pretty confused about the whole thing, i told her the truth about what happened and guess who told her that i might be gay... the girl i spoke to on the phone!!! She promised me not to say she told me - i did exactly that, i backed away from the whole group. I didn't want to ruin their friendship, so to this day I have been quiet about it! All i thought was "if she didn't say i was gay to her, none of this mess would of happened!".

    (Also apprently this girl i had spoken to ONCE cried because I was with girl 2 on new years o_O girls don't make sence.)

    Two more pointless relationships after that - I realized i'm a fucking dumbass and girls only fuck with my head. I did not have a single "proper" relationship with any of them - I realized it was because I jumped into relationships to fast and craved the attention from girls to much!

    I think the only way must be to be very good friend with them first - otherwise it just won't work. Also I learned that being liked by loads of girls isn't allways a good thing, because you end up getting to much of a choice and can't stick to one! Just imagine if 5-6 girls came onto you at once - what the fuck would you do!?

    I guess I never have had a love life purely because i've never been in love, not met one girl I thought was perfect for me and i'd rather stay single untill maybe that girl will come along, if not someone close to perfect.

    Been single for 5 months and loving it.

    Don't let girls and their friends mess you around, be honest and don't jump into things. Tell the girl you like that you like her after you get to know her and say if she doesn't feel the same way - that is fine by you (even if it's not) and you'd still liked to be friends either way.

    The only way i've managed to get away from these girls is staying in my small home town and just hanging about with a small group of mates.

    K.
    Edited by Dillinger_X on 15 Jun 2005, 00:26
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    • Jayaism said...
    • User
    • 16 Jun 2005, 02:48

    Re:

    Quoth GenisArse:
    i'm useless when it comes to love. i found the girl of my dreams, she'd been in my life for ages but i waited too long and by the time i was about to finally let her know how i feel she got a bf, who just happened to be one of my mates. at first i was pretty upset with myself for waiting too long but i know that my mate wont doing anything to hurt her or doing anything wrong with her so i suppose i can't ask too much of that.

    i'm looking at the moment for someone, my problem is that i don't know how to start up conversations with new people unless i'm forced to, like when i'm in college. i just start blabbering uncontrolably. any one got any tips?

    Anxiety when meeting a new person? Yeah... I used to be really anxious about that too. I'm recovering though. Middle school was HELL for me, mostly because I was scared to make new friends (so I didn't have any!). But I taught myself a few tricks for high school, and three years into that and I'm doing just fine.

    Its cliche, and you've heard it a billion times, but this does work, once you've figured out how to do it. You just have to trust yourself. You just have to pretend to yourself that everything is fine when you're meeting someone new. Don't concentrate on the awkward silences, and don't get agitated when things don't go right. One thing I used to do was get really mad at myself when a conversation with a new person went badly- I would blame myself and of course, that would cause my self-esteem to drop a million points. Which made it even harder to talk to the next person I met.

    Another tip for dealing with awkward silences: make them comfortable silences. Even if the gap in conversation is really unexpected, just TELL yourself that its ok, and that the silence is nothing to worry about. Settle back and relax. Pretend for a second that the other person isn't there. You'll feel better. While the conversation might die, the important thing is that YOU will feel better in the end. And thats what is important, isn't it?

    I've noticed that people who get into awkward silences with you either a) don't have anything in common with you, in which case, it is pointless and you shouln't worry about them, or b) give off an air of "hey-look-I'm-better-than-you". Its not that they're arrogent, its just that the interaction isn't happening on an equal playing feild. Either you're looking up to them, or they're looking down on you. I know that maybe this might be going on with the girls, because its natural to feel nervous around them. But the girls who you can strike up an easy conversation with (and they exist!) are the ones you should go for. They're looking for the same thing you are, and they also hate awkward conversations - and will try to avoid them. That means talking to you with some interest. Thats a good thing. Stick with that.

    And it doesn't pay to stick around with someone who you can't talk to. I did it for four months, and all I got was dumped. On my butt.


    Anyways, good luck. Hope this stuff helped. Maybe it varies from person to person.

    I plot for a living.
    ratnerstar said: I like to pretend I'm Humphrey Bogart. Except I'm pretty sure he only shits bullets.
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  • cheers! i'll certainly give it a try! :D

    Chadwick Merryweather-Hardy IV of Chadistan,
    The Lord Of Darkness & Fruit
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    • Enoon said...
    • User
    • 16 Jun 2005, 21:18
    hmm... just become self-sufficient. Then no one will make you nervous, and if someone comes along that feels good, you can accept the comapy without any problems... even if you can't communicate 100%. at least that is what I suspect.
    I'm trying it, at least trying to become emotionally self-sufficient, so I don't get so frustrated about not being able to share my thoughts. Whatever I can share, I can feel glad about. The things that I can't aren't meant to be shared yet it seems.
    of course nothing can protect you from the cruelty or negligence or whatever from the outside world. self-sufficency might help coping with those kind of situations.
    haha, I find it funny trying to give advice on something like that though, since I can't get my own mind together properly. This is just what I think would work, if I could keep myself from... doing everythign wrong...
    oh and my relationship has been going on for 1.5 years now, so it's working alright, it's just that our communication doesn't cover all the levels I would wish it did. But like I said, I'm trying to fix my expectation of communication, because that's where the problems usually lie... in faulty expectations
    ;)=

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  • I've only had one real relationship, and that ended. I'd tell you when, but I'm not really sure, and that's what upsets me the most. I met a girl in college and though we spent a lot of time together over a couple of years, I never did anything about it.

    I graduate and get a job, start seeing her a lot, and things are great. After a few months she graduates and moves an hour away. I stupidly think that we are still together; this apparently is not the case, as I see her once all summer which was the week after graduation. I somehow fail to see what is going on, blinded by the fact that she constantly talks to me and stays at my place a couple times over the next 6-8 months. Why would someone do that if they are not interested? Who knows.

    It's been about a year now since all that happened, and I am finally alright with things. I wish she would have been upfront and actually talked to me instead of drifting away, but I was overlooking clues as well. At this point I just don't talk to her anymore because it stirs up old feelings again.

    I've gotten much better about talking to people the last few years, but I don't get out much outside of work, so I don't get to meet too many new people. Kind of a social anxiety thing I guess, but I'm only really shy when I first meet people.

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  • Love Life?

    Lets see, I've had two relationships with girls online, one which percipated into my joining a girl at her junior prom (I too being a junior in high school), one which almost ended up with me spending Christmas in a tent. Oh my misadventures. At the moment, the love life is non-existant, but really I've stopped caring. Well I do care, I just deny myself the ability to care.

    All this girls I like end up being my friends. The one I like the most at the moment is pretty damn close to being my best friend, but she already rejected me. (We're practically psychic at times.) Another girl, who is also a friend, comes on to me constantly and we've toyed with getting together, but she's in another state. I met her when I moved my senior year. After that its really just girls I have crushes on.

    I ask not for your pity. Something shall come my way, someday.

    Peace
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    • Zetetic said...
    • User
    • 14 Aug 2005, 23:36
    No love life, ever. So it goes...

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  • hello giveuptheghost

    My love life is rather great nowadays. I met my boyfriend on the internet too. I found it scary meeting him the first time in real life, but I haven't regreted it for a second. It's supposed to be quite geeky, isn't it? Meeting someone on the internet. But it's not like we met on some dating service, we met at a music forum.. thingy. And we are perfect for each other. So, believe me, it is possible to find true love on the internet! Good luck with yours :)

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  • em..what to say, what to say?

    myself, ive had one long term relationship (im in it at the mo, after meeting online, so there is hope for online love), a long distance relationship (id advise against it) and 3 flings! I'm 14 months with my girlfriend at present..and if we were to break up today, I would be naturally devastated but I would get on with life. As someone said before, I would miss the cuddles, not the girl! I have become over sensitive over the years and become paranoid!

    Well thats me!

    follow my tweets on twitter.com/clearer_skies
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    • megggan said...
    • User
    • 15 Aug 2005, 18:19

    boring love life

    my love life is kind of sad and dull. I've only ever been in one real relationship, which is the one I'm in now, and it's with someone in a different state. we met at a forum and I haven't met him or anything but I've known him about 5 years now. he's a really great person but it's really lonely being in a long-distance relationship.

    before that, the only thing resembling a relationship was an awkward situation with a girl who I was friends with when I was a little kid. and I'm not proud of that because I'm pretty sure now that I'm straight. I went through a period of time where I had no idea about anything, though.

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  • Love is funny. It's funny how the supposed "love of your life" is quick to abandon. That high you felt in the beginning is now insignificant, stolen, and a fucking waste of time. Remind me never to get close or feel close to anyone again.

    Edited by fakehand on 15 Aug 2005, 23:24
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  • I want to take a break from love. I've been involved with 2 people this year, and both times I've gotten in deeper than I thought I had, and I only found out once it was over. I used to believe that everyone found 'the one' and was eternally happy, but now I'm not so sure.

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  • I always tend to fall in love with girls that don't actually suit me. Then it all ends up in a huge disappointment for both...

    there is no moon tonight, but the stars are whispering our names
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