Generic Hipster Group

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Created on: 19 Jul 2010
This is a generic hipster group.

This generic hipster group is a union of people united under one cause: police the scene for posers.
We will introduce our cause by defining poser: Someone with any determined haircut, musical tastes, clothing or accessories, social or economic condition, or in general anyone who we feel isn't trve enough to like the music we like.

Our philsophy behind this is that being part of a counterculture isn't really about fun, but impersonating the determined counterculture to the point where we are most undoutably trve, and only once accomplished said level of trveness will one be invested with the authority to be the "scene police".

We, the trve vanguards of trveness and the only trve metalheads/punks/etc that actually exist(we know we are because we have perfectly impersonated these countercultures) are in right and duty to protect the trve meaning of what it is to be trve by bashing anyone who falls bellow the trve standards.

But, as we know, all executive power necessarily implies a legislative power in order to exist, therefor, we have also invested such power and formulated a list of scene laws that one must obey under the punishment of being a poser:

-The band shirts that a member of any determined band is authorized to wear must be quantum according to the level of trveness of the band the shirt represents, and the band who's member wears said shirt. For example, if you are in a deathcore band, you cannot wear a Vital Remains shirt.

-You MUST like the classics. If you do not like the classics, you cannot be trve.

-You MUST stay in the mosh pit once entered until the end of the song, there will be no exceptions in the case of injuries of any kind, minor or critical.

-Your beverage of choice must have an alcoholic grade of 30% or more, or in it's defect, beer.

-The acknowledgement of vinyl over digital is a must.

-Pig squeals are terminally prohibited.

-Refrain from wearing anything that may look "scene".

-The following are prohibited due to their lack of trveness: deathcore, indie pop, post-hardcore, metalcore, punk pop, crunkcore, anything that is "brootal" or "slamming", death metal bands from Canada, mainstream black metal, anything commonly mistaken for emo/screamo, and bands with members that have huge gauges.

-Scene identity is always more important than individual tastes, please refrain from admiring any music, films, literature or any other sort of media that can be considered untrve.

-If an otherwise trve band becomes popular between scene kids, it is temporarily untrve and it is untrve to listen to it until either the band is dead or the scene kids are dead.

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  • Pagan_Sunrises

    Hey why you include Vomitando Bilis in this group??? Here are you the only posers!!!

    22 Mar 2011 Reply
  • stauwehrsfreund

    and I own a record by Civil Disobedience (and all the records by TRAGEDY of course, except for the ultrarare 7inch, I travelled to Österreich to see them live in 2002? 2003? 2004? can't remember...)

    30 Oct 2010 Reply
  • stauwehrsfreund

    oh, I saw TRAGEDY a few years ago and this weekend they would be in switzerland again, 30 min away from my home!

    30 Oct 2010 Reply
  • Atmosphere-it

    fuckin' hipsters stop bashing my Justin Bieber

    20 Jul 2010 Reply