Corrupt a Wish!

 
  • Corrupt a Wish!

    A simple game. In each post you must grant the wish of the person above you and then make a wish of your own. Only in granting their wish you must twist it, or pervert it, or just mangle it because, hell, its fun and an exercise of wit and pessimism. For example....

    I wish that I pass go and collect 200 dollars!

    >You wish is Granted! But in doing so, you land on that damn income tax and have to give it back.

    or

    I wish my wish to be uncorrupted!

    >Granted, but you still have no friends. Funny how that worked out, eh?

    So I shall start simply: I wish my favorite band would come to my town.

    • Kennoth said...
    • User
    • 28 Feb 2011, 08:28
    Sounds familiar.

    Granted, but you'll be out of town when they do.

    I wish I had a social life.

    Change is coming through my shadow. My shadow's shedding skin, I've been picking my scabs again.

    • lawynd said...
    • Subscriber
    • 28 Feb 2011, 11:08
    Granted, but all your friends are arseholes and take advantage of you.


    I wish I could see my mother on her birthday tomorrow.

    Official recorder of Schrödinger's Tampon.

    Quote of the moment - "They tried to get me to eat haggis but I couldn't stomach it."
  • Granted, unfortunately it will be from above on a fluffy cloud as her grief-wracked body sobs over your mangled corpse.

    I wish I could have three wishes.

    The Ancient DisOrder of the Last FM Round Table
    • Kennoth said...
    • User
    • 28 Feb 2011, 14:02
    Granted, but someone else is picked to choose them for you.

    I wish I could have a self-refiling wallet.

    Change is coming through my shadow. My shadow's shedding skin, I've been picking my scabs again.

    • lawynd said...
    • Subscriber
    • 28 Feb 2011, 14:13
    Granted...and you get mugged for it.


    I wish I could star in my own TV show.

    Official recorder of Schrödinger's Tampon.

    Quote of the moment - "They tried to get me to eat haggis but I couldn't stomach it."
    • Kennoth said...
    • User
    • 28 Feb 2011, 14:17
    Granted, but the critics would pin it so badly that you'll earn an infamy that's hard to bounce from and your family and friends would disown you.

    I wish I had a girlfriend.

    Change is coming through my shadow. My shadow's shedding skin, I've been picking my scabs again.

    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 28 Feb 2011, 14:40
    Granted her you go





    i wish i had a date with Doro Pesch

  • Granted. Where will you be taking her on her 94th birthday?

    I wish I had super-power

    The Ancient DisOrder of the Last FM Round Table
    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 28 Feb 2011, 21:26
    Wish granted





    i wish i had a big fat spliff

    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 1 Mar 2011, 09:48
    Granted, but its really bad joint and in the subsequent mental breakdown you become convinced your a talking tree stump named Wang Du.

    I wish anime were real.

    • rborlax said...
    • User
    • 1 Mar 2011, 09:55
    granted, but you will spend the rest of your days being horribly raped by tentacles.

    i wish i had an enormous willy

    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 1 Mar 2011, 10:10
    wish granted to you Mr Dentist , here is your enormous willy.




    i wish i had a Gothic Bride

    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 1 Mar 2011, 10:36
    Here she is!



    I wish I had a tail!

  • Granted. Right between your eyes.

    I wish I could have 10 minutes (ok, 5) alone with Kylie

    The Ancient DisOrder of the Last FM Round Table
    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 1 Mar 2011, 11:19
    ^ I can get you 3 minutes...



    I wish I had a pet tapir.

  • Granted. but your tapir develops huge tentacles, and well, becomes more than just a pet or a good friend if you catch my drift

    I wish I had a really cool nickname

    The Ancient DisOrder of the Last FM Round Table
    • Kennoth said...
    • User
    • 1 Mar 2011, 22:38
    Granted, but the nickname becomes so cool that everyone around you (even yourself) forgets your real name.

    I wish I wasn't so bored all the time.

    Change is coming through my shadow. My shadow's shedding skin, I've been picking my scabs again.

    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 2 Mar 2011, 10:31
    Here is a swarm of giant wasps trained to trace your unique bodily pheremone. You'll never be a dull moment with enraged oversized insects on your case!

    I wish I had an unending supply of Lindor eggs.

    • Kennoth said...
    • User
    • 2 Mar 2011, 13:55
    Granted, but they all passed their expiration date, and you develop a stomach bacteria after eating them.

    I wish I had an unending supply of Nutella.

    Change is coming through my shadow. My shadow's shedding skin, I've been picking my scabs again.

    • [Deleted user] said...
    • User
    • 2 Mar 2011, 15:41
    Granted. It comes poring out of every crack and fault on the planet in a cataclysmic unending stream, enveloping everything and drowning all life on earth.

    I wish I was a pretty girl.

  • Granted, but you're a pretty girl in Saudi Arabia with no rights whatsoever, and you're sold off to a randy old goatherder.

    I wish I was a billionaire.

    Are you writing from the heart?
  • Granted. Sadly you live in Zimbabwe where 1 billion local dollars = around 25 cents

    I wish I could keep my brolly fully furled.

    The Ancient DisOrder of the Last FM Round Table
    • Kennoth said...
    • User
    • 2 Mar 2011, 17:27
    Selfsurprise said:
    Granted. It comes poring out of every crack and fault on the planet in a cataclysmic unending stream, enveloping everything and drowning all life on earth.


    That sounds like an awesome way to die.

    Change is coming through my shadow. My shadow's shedding skin, I've been picking my scabs again.

  • Granted, but you get repeatedly gawked at by American tourists for your quaint use of the word "brolly" and the cliche Union Jack design on your said Brolly. We get it. You are European.

    I wish It would Freakin stop raining for an afternoon....

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