Captain Falcon

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35 members| 18 shouts

Leader: MadMalakian
Join Policy: Open
Created on: 31 Jan 2010
Description:
For all the fans of the sweetest, manliest, and most bad-ass character ever created in a video game.

Please note that all that's written below is for satyrical purpose. After all, Captain Falcon is the Chuck Norris of video games...



Something about Captain Falcon from the greatest Falcon player in Super Smash Bros. Melee out there: G-Regulate.

Falcon is the sweetest character, and here are some non-opinionated, fool-proof reasons why.

1. He's ripped, completely muscle bound from head to toe. His pectorals are so defined that his nipples have enough muscle to poke out of his racing suit. Probably the greatest athelete ive ever seen.
2. He is 100% testosterone. His speech is more like grunting, due to his primal manhood. He pays no mind to women and children when wreaking havoc upon anyone/anything.
3. He never relaxes, he is flexing his muscles at nearly every moment, as he has a sure-limitless supply of energy.
4. One of his winning poses, shows him lifting his leg up and waving his crotch in your face, as if to say "suck a ****, loser"
5. His style is the loose-combination of the following bad-*****. Robocop, Judge Dredd, Captain America, Batman, and perhaps "the Narcissist" Lex Luger... Only C. Falcon lacks the weaknesses that these people have, such as "feelings" and "restraint to kill"
6. If you pause the game while he is in the middle of a down-aerial, you will notice he will be staring right into your eyes, letting you know that no one, not even you, is safe.....
7. I've never seen his *****, but by estimation I'm guessing it's around the size of Wilt Chaimberlain.
8. Due to poor video game design on nintendo's part, he is easily combo'd by nearly every character, yet while played correctly, can still rock every character in the nastiest fashion possible.
G-Regulate

BE HONEST AND BRAVE! [cit.]

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