i went to see I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
saturday. a pal of mine is dating one of 'em, and she rounded up a few of her friends to go see 'em.
i'd never seen them before, never heard 'em. expected the best.
well. hm. they weren't bad, exactly. not really bad at all, i guess. i guess maybe, they're really fucking great at what they do, actually.
but they didn't do a thing for me. sounded like a bunch of rehashed eighties crap that i didn't really like the first time around. but the capacity crowd sure appeared to love 'em. i expect they may wind up a big deal.
for myself, i sure couldn't be bothered to hate them. the music just kinda laid there. and her boyfriend is a nice guy, and i had a good time with her and the rest of our gang.
mostly it was just another ho-hum night downtown, except that i was made accutely aware of just how fucking old i am. most shows, for some reason, this isn't such an issue.
maybe it's cuz i'm normally not so bored and so i don't have enough attention to notice the rest of the audience. maybe it's cuz it was a free show so old folks like me were staying away from the hassle of the hordes who show up for free shows - emo's reached capacity & cut off admission pretty early in the evening. or maybe it's cuz people my age aren't interested in a rehash of music that bored us silly the first time around. probably some of all that and other stuff i haven't thought of.
but whatever it was, i kept thinking that every time i noticed someone who was clearly older than the rest of the audience, i was usually easily ten years older than they were. this goes for the friend who took me down there and the gang we hang around with when i'm with her. i was probably the oldest person in the whole capacity-straining club.
and naturally, for the gazillionth time Chris Rock
's hilarious and infamous 'old guy in the club' routine started kicking around in my head. 'don't be the old guy in the club.' if you're unfamiliar with it, you can probably guess the gist.
and for some reason, when it first occured to me this time, it kinda bugged me.
last time i remembered it, it was only a couple of weeks ago, i was out seeing 'when cavemen roamed the earth' (actually, i don't think that's exactly their name, but i'm bad at names) at another club with a different group of friends - people more my age, fellow veterans of the scene back when.
the band launched into a really good cover of Greatest Gift
. this was a band i was loving anyway, and they did a great job with the song. and i got thinking about a particularly out-of-control night a buddy and me kinda scrounged around at the back's of drawers and sifted pocket lint to salvage the odd remnants of just enough psychoactive and stimulating substances to cobble together a sort of hail-mary cocktail. we walked downtown and saw Scratch Acid
at the ritz with Killdozer
. i think it was killdozer.
what i remember best though was it was among the best scratch acid shows i'd ever seen. david yow was wearing skiboots with these great big fittings on the soles that made them uneven and wobbly and inherently unstable to standup in. plus david was always extraordinarily gifted at toppling over during shows anyway. the band was loud and the set was full of all the slyness and vitriol and smirks and bile and gutwrenching rock that was scratch acid at their best.
and then i looked back at this cavemen walked the earth band. i realized it was entirely likely the oldest guy in the band was probably literally just out of diapers - three or four years old - the night i saw that show.
i felt old then, too. but like a senior statesman kind of old. like a proud veteran.
i looked around at the rest of the place and the kids all over being kids, and i observed to my friends that the observation that 50 is the new 30 is lame. the truth is, geezers are the new youth.
i didn't feel that at the show this weekend. but i really didn't feel like the old guy at the club either. i had no desire to mack on a bunch of annoying looking 20-30 year olds. zero. none. nada. even the hot looking ones. honest. in fact, i had zero desire to even stay in the club at all, except to keep my friend company.
and i guess at the end of it all, i came back to where i normally do. i'm old, but so far i just don't give a rat's ass about worrying if i'm chris rock's old guy in the club. i know i'm not, and if i don't go to the wrong shows... those i won't like anyway... i'll continue to be oblivious to anyone else who might think so.