Truest mostest metal ever. Period.

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22 membres| 27 shouts

Leader : Snutskallar
Politique d'adhésion : Ouvert
Créé le : 3 avr. 2007
Description :
This is a group for everyone who knows their taste is truer and more metal than everyone else. We're heavier, more brutal, more satanic, and faster than everyone else. Our hair is longer, greasier,...

This group is truer than true. It's trueness is truly mind-boggling. If you've quit another "true" (HA!) metal group out of disgust for their true fakeness and poserfication, and if you meet our IMPOSSIBLE and EXCEEDINGLY true high standards, you can be one with the true metal elite here. True story.


Read what others have said!

"What, you mean I can't join?!" - Mathew Vance, Multipenilemutilator

"This group is the beginning of the end. It's all downhill from here. Seriously." - Bilehazard, Asscavern

"It's so extreme I shat my pants" - Hellhammer



In order to demonstrate your true and uncompromising metalness your list must contain at least 200 bands who:

- have a member convicted of a violent crime
- are banned in Germany for having violent lyrics
- have been arrested in any South American state for being part of a voodoo deathcult
- have a fatwah on them for insulting the Prophet
- are from Finland
- have an album title incorporating any of the following words : "endocrinology", "trichovaginitis", "phallic", "hydrocephalic", or "cephalopodic"
- have recorded no less than 10 demos before getting signed
- are signed to a label that releases only demos
- have never been signed
- were convicted of physically assaulting another band for "selling out" and getting signed
- have never actually recorded a demo but Euronymous once said he heard a rehearsal tape of theirs on Necrobutcher's car stereo and they sounded .. and I quote ... "kvlter than fvcking kvlt"
- have album covers featuring penetrative sex
- have album covers featuring an act of bodily dismemberment
- have album covers featuring penetrative sex AND bodily dismemberment
- consist of a single musician living within the arctic circle
- ... who is either in jail, has been missing presumed dead for no less than 10 years or is in jail suspected of the murder of another musician missing and presumed dead for no less than 10 years
- recorded all of their records on 4 track, some of their records on 2 track or at least one album on 1 track
- have a ratio of 10 rehearsal demos for every "proper" release they've ever made
- have recorded at least 10 albums consisting of nothing but blast beats ... or 1 album consisting of 100 songs consisting of nothing but blast beats ... or in special cases, have served prison time for assaulting a drummer who was unable to play bast beats fast enough
- mention at least 10 currently-serving fellons on their thanks list
- incorporate the word "goat" into their name, or into any of their song or album names in any context whatsoever

These numbers are the bare minimum. You better do better if you want to get in!!!

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  • aggroroofer

    (Hope no one notices that I don't listen to Paris Hilton)

    4 août 2013 Répondre
  • Upmix

    i lol'ed at all the things above XD

    3 jan. 2011 Répondre
  • iPowers

    Why the fuck is frank sinatra in that list. >_<

    29 jui. 2010 Répondre
  • bloozclooz

    haha what the fuck? so pretty much, the most underground, most static filled Black Metal is all that fits this description?

    9 nov. 2009 Répondre
  • stembus

    Weekly top artists of this group are untruer than untrue.

    16 août 2009 Répondre
  • assoc

    For a true metal experience, try listening to this groups' radio. Scary stuff :-)

    27 mars 2009 Répondre
  • assoc

    Hmm, why would I want to avoid being arrested if I truly belonged in this group. I believe I just made myself. With shame and pain, I will now leave this group.

    27 mars 2009 Répondre
  • assoc

    In case you wonder, all the tracks in my library are the result of fake id tags. I don't want to be arrested for listening to what I *really* listen to.

    7 mars 2009 Répondre
  • mistersofty

    I highly approve of this

    12 fév. 2009 Répondre
  • prk

    this group wins

    24 nov. 2008 Répondre
  • CallumJBS

    This is so sad.

    10 oct. 2008 Répondre
  • geldouche

    Fucking lol at your criteria. Hahahahahahaha, trichovaginitis.

    15 mai 2008 Répondre
  • Snutskallar

    Currently celebrating over a week with no Radiohead in top 20!

    30 déc. 2007 Répondre
  • Snutskallar

    Well, it could be worse - could be Radiohead or The Beatles.

    10 oct. 2007 Répondre
  • BadFurDay

    Well now it's Dream Theater and Symphony X. Not even sure if it's metal. And since I'm a musical elitist, I hate you all wannabe metalheads, taste goat blood and then you'll see how sucky DT and SX are.

    9 oct. 2007 Répondre
  • Snutskallar

    Yay = we have charts. Boo = Megadeth is currently at #1. Seriously .... wrong.

    21 sept. 2007 Répondre
  • amendotcom

    Metal is true only if forces you to sodomize an old priest with mouth full of goat's blood in the blaze of a burning church. I do that. And you all probably NOT.

    7 sept. 2007 Répondre
  • Snutskallar

    You all sicken me. There's not a nekro bone between the lot of you. More goatperversion !!!

    23 avr. 2007 Répondre
  • BadFurDay

    I am trver than you all. Fags.

    20 avr. 2007 Répondre
  • lordcthulhu

    frosty

    19 avr. 2007 Répondre
  • Voir les 27 shouts