Lana Del Rey Ruby Lounge
Friday 4 November 2011

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Lana Del Rey

Past event
Friday 4 November 2011
Nov 4

Ruby Lounge

28-34 High Street
Manchester M4 1QB
United Kingdom
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Tel: +44-(0)161-8341392
Web: www.therubylounge.org

Mr Jay Taylor.

On the 4th day of November, your Ruby-hued venue plays host & bellows to an up-gust in a conflagration of the fates - One of the most significant, potentially Century-defining moments of it’s short, but already illustrious lifespan. The Mancunian debut of one Elizabeth Grant (a. k.a. Lana Del Rey), has potentially wide-reaching consequences for, not only music; but popular culture at large, art, feminism, dare I say it - even our very children?

I was initially nonplussed by the ‘phenomenon’ of the aforementioned person(s). Her incendiary debut, while a mildly diverting, admittedly affecting piece of pop-music was sha-boobled through a mouth so potentially measured & precise in it’s laconic offering of time-worn lugubriosity - that I was galvanised in a steely resolve to resist her harp-strings’ assault on my finger-gunk encrusted heartstrings.

Still, I must admit there is something beguiling about the girl…More fascinating still, is the clandestine but unarguable backstage machinations. The manoeuvres of certain ‘shady-agents’ if-you-will.

It is not, I assure you, my aim or intent to smite, slander or sully her already Punch Drunk reputation in the ‘Indie’ community - but rather to encapsulate a blisteringly significant moment in time.

Is she Betty, frigging herself red-raw on an acne’d couch? Or Camilla ‘THIS IS THE GIRL’ Rhodes? These duplicitous ripples are what I want, nay, NEED to witness. It is of utmost importance that I be party to the events that transpire tomorrow night.

I believe your guestlist to be already swollen to haemorrhage with curious onlookers. But should one of their number be unable to attend, I implore you draft me-in in their stead.

I’m a cantankerous bastard. A foul-mouthed and malodorous hobo. But one thing on which I pride myself, is a highly attuned Justice-Button. My ultimate aim is righteousness, and if the word of a stranger has any worth - I offer it unreservedly. Further to that word, I swear that the architects of my ethics forbid me from misplacing any faith you might deign to reciprocate.

Sincerely,

Chester Whelks
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  • ChesterWhelks

    GET ME IN THIS BITCH! (The venue, not Lana.)

    November 2011
  • ChesterWhelks

    UN-CANCELLED!

    November 2011
  • ChesterWhelks

    CANCELLED.

    November 2011
  • ChesterWhelks

    It is of the utmost importance that I be granted access to this event. If anyone can act as benefactor, and slip me inside the Ruby Lounge as officiously as an envelope in a pinstripe Jacket's inside pocket - I promise to write the only truly culturally aware, implication-dissecting piece of journalism to emerge from this auspicious occasion.

    November 2011
  • joewilson1989

    Long shot but if anyone has two spare tickets, get in touch with me.

    November 2011
  • stephenreilly

    The iCal entry for this shows up as 23.00 on Thursday 3rd.

    October 2011
  • hyperballadbrad

    Bloody hell, didn't even know she was on the road :(

    October 2011
  • andrewjonesdev

    I see tickets are now on ebay for £40 each. Unbelieveable.

    October 2011
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  • knotweed went to Lana Del Rey at Ruby Lounge. February 2012
  • laurasnapes went to Lana Del Rey at Ruby Lounge. November 2011
  • ChesterWhelks is interested in Lana Del Rey at Ruby Lounge. November 2011
  • freedomeagle is going to Lana Del Rey at Ruby Lounge. November 2011
  • manningwsm is going to Lana Del Rey at Ruby Lounge. October 2011
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